Guys, have you felt insecure to the point that you ignored a love interest because of the way you felt about yourself?

have you felt insecure to the point that you ignored a love interest because of the way you felt about yourself? For example, has someone demonstrated that they like you, who you liked back, yet you didn't pursue it because your insecurity stopped you from believing they truly could like you or something?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, or just not asking them out because i have no clue how to go about doing it, or just not realizing that hey were saying something that meant for me to ask them out, becuse girls beat around the bush rather than speak what they want to say. I am very quiet person who is not great in conversation, and dont have a very exciting life to talk aboit or things to do. I feel like i always have to look at what other people want to do rather than making it up myself. Plus in my area it is very difficult for people like me who are not into pop culture to find somebody who is into he same stuff, or just into anything cool.

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What Guys Said 22

  • of course, in the past mainly and most of the time. It took very aggressive girls to get past my protective shield. We all have protective shields around our "selves".

    I was so wounded most of my life, and didn't know it, that a girl who said I was cute or handsome... when that hit my brain, I would go..."there is something wrong with her". That was my old wounds controlling me from childhood.

    Takes time and effort to heal those wounds, education, perspective, then the damage is lessened if not gone.

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  • yah sure ! I went out of a long love relationship, heart broken... literally destroyed, I used to be the cool strong guy but after that I lost everything starting from work and money till my friends and some family members, I was close to suicide, spent 4 months alone at home drinking till I sleep, then my friends decided to forgive me after they saw my situation and helped me to get back on my feet and go back to my life style again but still untill now I'm afraid of getting in a new relationship or even in one night stand, I tried everything, my friends tried their best to find me a new girlfriend but I just can't, it's like sometimes I'm sitting on the same table with my friends and six or seven girls and I'm the only silent one, even if they approach me I don't react back... I'm the shadow of the person I was proud to be before three years !

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    • Wow, that's some heavy stuff. I can relate a bit with how I was feeling coming out of a four year relationship. When you make someone such a big part of your life for years and they're suddenly gone, it's like the carpets been pulled from beneath you and you just can't right yourself again. I'm finally feeling better though with time and hopefully you are too. Thanks for the response!

    • don't worry everything will be fine, these things happen to make us stronger and smarter ;)

  • yes, every time a woman gives me a compliment i automatically assume they are not being genuine. all this 'you are such a great guy', 'i could totally date you'. i dont believe any of this, it all fake in my opinion, not just this but also other compliments.

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  • Yeah, that has happened. I'm not exactly confident in my physical appearance. So I've let some opportunities slip away. And who knows, one of the girls that I let slip away could've really been the one. Nobody's fault but mine I guess...

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  • no my first thoughts are will we be good together will it actually workout do i really want to be with her and will i be any good for her not in a insecure way but more of a concerned for her well being kinda way

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  • Nope. A girl would actually have to like me for that to happen and that'd practically be a miracle lol

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    • Shh... You'd be surprised! I'm sure someone likes you/has liked you before! Regardless, thank you for your input :p

    • I doubt it but I guess anything can happen. Honestly, there are some things I'm insecure about but it's definitely not bad enough to make me not want to be in a relationship

  • I have never had a love interest in my life.

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  • I think I'm so insecure, I might not have noticed opportunities I may have had in the past. A social animal like me doesn't end up having never been in a relation or ever having sex going into my late 20s without that.

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    • It is possible that you have overlooked opportunities... I'm shy and somewhat insecure myself, and I have learned of opportunities that were staring me in the face from years past that I totally missed/was in denial over at the time. Ha.

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    • Haha well there's only one way to find out... But easier said than done!

    • Nah, I've become comfortable with not having someone in my life. I'll dedicate myself to science and the betterment of the human race instead lol

  • Nahhhh confidence is key man trust me girls notice when your not and its unattractive to them so even if I'm nervous AF I still go for it or act like I don't have any insecurities... fake it till you make it lol

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    • To an extent you are right. If a guy has no confidence in himself as a person then it will be hard for a woman to value him. However, if he is confident in his value as a person, and just nervous around girls he has a crush on then sometimes it can be "cute." If you're good at faking that confidence all of the time though then props to you dude! Haha

    • LOL yea I can admit that I get nervous around girls sometimes even at 31 lol

  • I'm a idiot of they have to literally tell me in simple words. I've been told that they liked me before but I guess I didn't pick that up which sucks cause I liked them too.

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  • Yup , all the time.

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    • Even when you're pretty certain the other person is interested in you?

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    • Ah, I see what you're saying. Is there anything these women could be doing differently that would make it better?

    • The girl has to initiate and overtly say "I like you, let's go on a date" ;)

  • yeh happened to me recently

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  • Nope.

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  • Yeah, it happens to me.

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  • when i was younger but i just take evberything in stride now when you learn the nuniversal truth of things :P

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  • I have, but that insecurity was shattered yesterday.

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  • nope. but i think it will happen in the future

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  • Yep.

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  • Many times during middle and elementatry... Not quite sure if they liked me, still..

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  • This is so me at moment pffft

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  • Yes. it was shit, dont think too much about it and take the jump

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  • You just asked about the most common reasons males don't approach women.

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