How can I forgive her for cheating?

My girlfriend of 9 years cheated on me with my best friend for 5 years?

I would never thought I'd be on these sites, but here I am looking for answers

Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years

only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying

she's been having an affair on me with my best friend

my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this

we met in 2007 till now we still together 2016

and the affair started 2011 when we met, till 2016

which is over 5 years

I don't know what to think or to say to her

she's confessed everything to me about the affair

such as time, places, when and where

I asked why she's doing this to me

as i have been a loving caring boyfriend always supported her.

Sh e tells me its all her fault, she didn't intend to hurt me in any way

she's says she's remorse full and she couldn't go on with the lies anymore

and it was just sex with him, it didn't mean anything

I can't tell u guys how I'm feeling right now

as i have not drank any water or eaten any food for over 3 days now

and my sleep pattern is all over the place, I'm devastated and heart broken

as I don't understand why she's doing all this to me

she says it was only sex with him and she felt that she had to end it with him

as she realized her love for me, and now she talks about starting a family with me

and marriage, I'm so so confused, i still love her as we have been together for over 9 years

but this is too much to swallow

If there's anyone who like to comment please do as I'm looking for answers

Thank You For Reading.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 5 years of betrayal by her AND your "best friend".
    Well "your boy" needs to get punched in the throat because he's a backstabbing piece of shit. And your girl took 5 years to realize it was wrong and she should finally "come clean"? Piss on both of them, have some self respect and walk away from both.

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What Girls Said 9

  • You don't forgive cheaters, you dump them.

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  • She's a terrible person and doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Even her confession to you was more about her own guilt ridden conscious and not about you. Kick her and this "friend" to the curb. They don't care about you just themselves.

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  • it's Simple.
    You don't.
    Sorry to say , but if i were you , i won't be able to forgive her.
    She slept with another guy and that too for 5 years.

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  • You don't. She cheated on you not once but for five years break up with her.

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  • I don't know why either but I could never forgive someone who cheated on me.

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  • Lol um maybe she cheated on you cuz you've been together for 9 years and you haven't asked her to marry you yet

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  • Sorry you had to go through this. I'm not going to tell you what to do. however, I don't think you should be the one suffering. Anyways if I'm you're friend, I'll keep slapping me on the face and pour an ice bucket on your head, till you wake up and think with clarity. Me I'm a type who would forgive but can't forget. So I won't be able to go on tbh.

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  • I would never forgive. Don't know why you even want to try

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  • Time to end it. Not only did she cheat on you, but it was for 5 years. With your best friend. Time to find a new girlfriend and better friends.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Wow! Im sorry to hear that man. I can even feel a little bit of your pain. But let me tell you that there is no forgiving!!! Not at all not after 5 years of affair hells no! Bro think about it, next time you make a new friend and he somehow becomes your best friend are you gonna be able trust your girlfriend around him? Or even him? Whenever they talk aren't you gonna get thoughts in your head? I mean you really need to wake up! And maybe go see a psychologist cause it must be really hard for you. 5 years? No way you can forgive her and your best friend. She cheated on you for a reason and that reason is because your relationship isn't going well or at least on her side she's not getting her needs from you so she had to seek those needs to be filled with someone else. And as much as it hurts if you forgive her she will definitely will cheat on you again because she got away with it. Sex is just sex sure i agree with that but think about it. Was it just sex? Did they cuddle? Did they do things together that you dont know of? Or even in bed things she's never done? Man if it happened one time there could be a tiny chance that you could forgive her and maybe you could sit down with her and work things out but 5 years god damn! You can do so much better there's millions of girls out there that would never do that, women that are not capable of doing what she did. Forget about starting a family man. She's the last thing you want to have as a mother. Let me ask you something. If your son came up to you and said " dad I've been dsting this girl for 6 years but she cheated on me with my best friend for 3 years" are you gonna say hey son dont worry about it forgive her and move on and make her your wife she will be a great mom? No way man! Your done with her. The one thing that is gonna hurt her the most is that she cheated on her boyfriend of 9 years that could have been her husband or the father of her children and that will be in her mind for the rest of her life and she will be insecure and very jelause in her next relationship. you on the other hand will be very happy with a great family knowing that you never cheated on her and you are in a happier place.

    Get out there hook up with women, get your family to support you during this time and enjoy your life get your confidence back and do what you love doing hobbies, etc. It won't be easy but in the end you will be happier and she's gonna be the one thats hurt. Good luck! And be strong man! there's too many women out there for you

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  • Why must you forgive her for cheating? I mean cheating is not a mistake, it's a choice, it's a decision and so logically speaking it's unforgivable. You shouldn't forgive a person who has cheated on you.

    Cheaters cannot be trusted and so the best solution is to break up with them.

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  • You will need some time to get your act together. Dont worry, its normal. after all you have trusted her for so long. This time just stay away from her and your so called "friend", till you have your shit together and are healthy and strong again. Dont even think of wifing up a hoe. The only reason she would say that now if all times is because she wants you to be her insurance via marriage. She will still continue to bang your friend or other men behind your back. Let it go, start eating well, train some (gym, sports) spend time with your family or your real friends ( yeah you need to drop him too). Go out and hookup with women if you want, and get your confidence back.

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  • She clearly considered you as a best friend or friends with benefits more than as a boyfriend.
    you can either propose her an open marriage or forget her.

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  • I would never forgive either of them or take her back if I was in your situation. Relationships are built on trust and she completely violated that trust and the vows she made to you, by fucking your friend, so I think you should divorce her and move on with your life without either of them in it

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  • for you there will be no closure because there will always be the element of doubt in your mind. as for marriage i would say to her you both need some profesinal help. i dont understand why she cheated on you in the first place? the friend is a complete low life for doing that to you and her and ruining your friendship between you for good

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  • Rough.

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  • Cheating is wrong, but admitting it and being so remorseful makes her easily forgivable if you can find it in your heart to let her try again.

    What happened between you and your friend when you found out, btw?

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  • SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! You're just her second and sage option. How much do you want to bet that he';s been telling her how they can start a life together and all that crap? Then once your "friend" found a new piece of ass, he dumped your girl and now she's hoping to not be alone. So now she wants to hook you and trap you. She does not love you!!! You do not cheat if you truly love someone. Just leave her Man. She doesn't give a fuck about you. Just leave the dirty slut and find a woman who will love you. Don't fall for her fake tears.

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