Almost 23 years old and Never Had a Boyfriend?

Hi this might be a little embarrassing but I've been worried that I may die alone. I mean what's wrong with me? I never had a boyfriend in high school. I had crushes on guys but no guy ever asked me out. Then I went to a college that was predominantly women and so there was too much competition. Now I am a college graduate and I am single and miserable. I am literally consumed with this thought and I dont know what to do. I do not drive and all my female friends are boring and they don't go out to bars or clubs or anything, At this point I don't even know if I am capable of being in a relationship because I don't even know what they are!

I literally cry about this because I feel like I can literally live my entire life and never find anyone. Some women who are pretty don't even have to make an effort or try to get a man, men just approach them. That is my dream! The only men that have approached me are old ratchet men. I am college educated and I actually speak English correctly. Is it too much to ask for a man that is on my level? Why should I lower my standards? Anyway what do you suggest I do? At this point I am socially awkward and embarrassed by my inexperience with men.

I am a black woman with dark skin (I am African). Do you think it is because I am a black woman? I hear it is more difficult for black women to find a good man because a lot of men like Caucasian women. I hate to say this but sometimes I wish I were Caucasian (I love being black but it seems to be easier for them to get guys). And I have seen Caucasian girls that are uglier than me and they always get decent guys. :-(I just want a guy to call my own...

Updates:
By the way, I am not overweight. I weigh 125 pounds and I am 5'6.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm in the same boat kind of. I'm 22 and have been sailing solo for a long time and I don't always want it to be like that. I just lack the confidence to ask girls out. I know what my problem is which is the confidence thing I just can't bring myself to become confident. I think unfortunately there is a little truth about black women having it harder. Which I think is dumb since I've been attracted to many black women and I don't get why others don't find them attractive. Don't wish to be white. Love who you are and love the skin that you have. Just because other asshats think being white is better doesn't mean it's true. Don't become what racists desire. Find a guy that loves you for what you already look like.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am 23, same no guys none on the horizon, I am white. Your seriously not alone especially when choosing not to lower your standards for just anyone (that is maturity), can't really offer much advice but wanted you to know your not the only one out there feeling this way.

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What Guys Said 5

  • OK I'm going to level with you because you sound like you need it. I didn't read the full thing. Read the first and the last and glanst the mid. I don't understand of 125 pounds is good or bad but I think its good. I believe that there is someone for everyone its all down to time. You shouldn't cry about it. No one who is young should cry about dying alone. Try get involved in something. you'll find a guy anywhere. Why are you anonymous? My deepest wishes go out to you. 💜

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  • A couple of things...
    First, stop looking for a man. The old saying is right, if you look for a relationship, you will never find one. So relax and be yourself.
    Second, find things you like to do and get out and do them... bowling, golf, hiking, bridge, whatever, but find a meet up group or place to meet people and do things. The social awkwardness will go away once you get out and start being social.
    Things will change for you, but you need to make it happen.

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  • I'm sure there's a man for you. Just don't jump at the first guy who looks your way. Lots of guys love black women, including white guys. You just need more confidence and more experience. You need to practice dating.

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  • That is dumb standard. Men on your level lol. What that got to do with relationship. My advice just date to get experience. Dating is fun. Just go out and ask guy go out. It don't have to become boyfriend or girlfriend. It's not that complicated, just have fun dating around and be safe

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  • Maybe cis u aren't hot? Lol

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm older than you... Small... Model thin (I actually try to gain weight though) white... Blue eyes... And I've never had a boyfriend or a boy interested in me... That I know of... Looks aren't always the problem.

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