Do I need to change who I am for guys to like me more? I'm too introverted and quiet, and every guy tells me so?

Maybe not every guy, but 80% of the guys I go out with do. I'm 21. I think guys expect me to be something I'm not because of my looks. I really take care of my looks, I'll admit I'm high maintenance, and I do have really great looks (thanks mom and dad lol) but I feel like I'm failing miserably with making them work. Guys are all over me, but then when they take me out or talk to me, they always say how quiet I am, shy, reserved, etc. and how I'm not some bubbly young thing full of energy and social skills.

honestly, half of me hates small talk and hates talking, I'm a listener by nature; and 2) I am really shy at times, especially around guys I have a crush on. I know this bc when I'm around guys I don't have a crush on, I act like myself, and they further fall for me. I know I have a great personality, but I'm also afraid I'll say something weird or sound boring due to my interests not being normal for a 21 year old (like... I've never been drunk, I am alone 90% of the time and it's when I'm happiest tbh, I have only one friend, I can count on one hand how many times I've been to the bar, etc). I also study psych, and I've always been highly sensitive to others behaviors and catch on to people quickly. If I notice changes, or things they say and do, I analyze them... Sometimes the smallest thing can remain stuck in my head for days. I'm just in my head a lot; and I guess it's making me either look stuck up, boring, or maybe stupid. Or am I being hard on myself? Why do guys always tell me how quiet I am, like that's supposed to make me talk more?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Never change yourself for someone else! If you WANT to, that's something else, but never do so for anything but you! I mean I'm cool around friends and stuff, but among people I don't know, I'm shy and quiet just like you, but I guess someday there will be someone who's the one for you!

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What Girls Said 1

  • You should do whatever you feel it's best for you. If you feel like you should attempt to change yourself to get guys, so be it.

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