My boyfriend doesn't want me to have male friends, is this normal?

I have a lot of male friends, in part because I work in a very male-dominated field. But my boyfriend says now that we've been seeing each other for a while, it's time for me to stop "seeing other men." By which he means hanging out with my male friends. He says that he knows they want to sleep with me and it's cheating for me to spend time with another man, even if I'm not at all sexually interested in them. He said no guy who loves his girl would want her spending time with another man.

Is this normal?

Updates:
I'm talking like, I had coffee the other day with a male friend I've known for years because we wanted to catch up. But my boyfriend said it was a "date" and that I need to stop doing that.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What y'all should think is what good things these friends bring to ur relationship if they are there to complicate things then they are not worth ur time at all. He's saying this because he knows what guys think of. I know there're friends who won't cross the line but the vast majority are waiting for a moment to make a move and get that one thing they want from u.
    I think it's better to make them mutual friends if u can't get rid of them so next time when u wanna go out with ur friend bring ur boyfriend with u I don't know how this feels but that's my opinion.

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    • I don't think my boyfriend would really be interested, is the thing. I mean, he's welcome to meet my friends, but sitting there for 2 hours while we talk about our field (which both of us are in and he's not) and times in college and graduate school... just wouldn't be his thing, you know? I like my boyfriend but I also want to be able to talk shop with people and he's not into that.

    • Yes, it seems hard. His disappointment tho, will cause more arguments to ur relationship and he won't agree on that so u already know the two options u are left with, dump him or dump ur friends.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Dump his ass. I'm sorry, but if my boyfriend wanted me to completely stop speaking with my male friends, it would be a problem. I get along with guys really well and I have fun conversing with them as well. It doesn't mean I love my boyfriend any less. My best friend is a guy. My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. We both have no problems with either one of us hanging out one on one with our best friends. I sleep over at my best friends house all the time. He and I are like brother and sister with each other. I mean, the dude has even had sex in the same bed as me with some other chick and when he told me later on the same day it happened that he did, I didn't even care. I'm not into him like that.

    I would never ask my boyfriend to stop hanging out with his best friend. I love him and I trust him. Your boyfriend is showing signs that he doesn't. It's okay to be insecure, but he's reaching an unacceptable level. Talk with him about it, but remember that you can't change a person or their mind unless they want to. If you're willing to lose your friends, then continue dating him, but I would seriously reconsider this relationship because to me it's already headed in the wrong direction.

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What Guys Said 7

  • nope. he has trust issues and is overly jealous.

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  • I kind of agree with him. Your man should be the only man i. Your life other than your dad and bros. Professional frienships are ok. But you shouldn't hang out with them.

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  • Dump him.

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  • That's insecure and controlling is what that is.

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  • I don't think it is, my best friend is a female and we haven't slept together. We are both dating other people.

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  • He sounds very insecure, but it's up to you if you want to follow that or not.

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  • Normal and you should do it out of respect or him.

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What Girls Said 13

  • This is normal for a VERY insecure person. I'd reconsider continuing this relationship if I were you. You're not going to change him, and it won't get any better.

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  • He's controlling and gross. I would not be with an insecure man who wouldn't accept the fact that I have a few male friends. I would never force my boyfriend to drop his female friends and I expect the same in return.
    This kind of behavior is only normal with insecure and controlling people.

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  • My ex did that and I told him he had to accept that I have male friends, they've been my friends for years and it's the way it's going to be. He had a hard time with it because of his girlfriend before me. I made compromises and invited him every time I was with them (we were all in the same group of friends) but he still didn't like it. It got to the point where he became too controlling so I had to walk away. I'd never cheat on him and he knew that but I didn't think it was fair for me to choose him or my friends. Especially considering the guys I was friends with were his friends as well? Didn't make sense

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  • That is not normal and it's not acceptable. You are allowed to have male friends. Your boyfriend should trust you. He sounds controlling and possessive.

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  • You see, the problem is that us females FEEL the same thing, a lot of us just don't vocalize it. There is nothing wrong with feeling jealousy over your partner, the thought of another individual of the opposite, or same, sex making your partner laugh or feel great about themselves just makes you feel this awful way inside, and as crazy as it may sound, it's normal. Would I tell my boyfriend to leave off his female friends for me, no. I feel as if that is too much to ask from him, he deserves people that he cares about and that care about him. I can't be the only female in his life no matter how it makes me feel, and like wise with me. Explain to him that you are not willing to part with your male friends, and be firm in your approach. Sometimes you have to be stern with males to let them know that you mean business. Don't be a push over, if he insists afterwards, just reiterate what you said previously.

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  • Let's say you stay together with this guy: are you going to go through the rest of your life only being friends with, and speaking to, the people he permits you to?

    This guy sounds unreasonable, and, on paper, somewhat threatening. What he is demanding of you is not normal, healthy, or advisable. If he can't pull an immediate 180 and stop all this jealous nonsense, I would suggest exiting as quickly as possible.

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  • Sod that! I study with a lot of guys and have to interact with them all the time. If my guy said that to me, I would tell him where to go.

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  • Dump him. He's clearly not ready foe a relationship. He's too insecure and immature and he doesn't trust you. No bueno my friend, no bueno.

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  • Control and trust issue

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  • No. He's being controlling and possessive. Not great signs.

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  • yeah it's normal for insecure twats like your boyfriend that feel the need to control your life.

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  • He's a dick. And a jealous one at that. I'm sorry but this wouldn't at all be tolerable for me. It's just plain up weird and jealous behavior.

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  • He's a douche

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