We went to his apartment for a make out session and his apartment is rather empty. He has a bed, television and a futon for a couch. He's not recently divorced or broken up with anyone. I just find it strange for a 40 yo to be living like this. I'm very established and recently paid off my condo. His exgf seems to be opposite of me: her fb is full of horror movie quotes, Marilyn Manson, zombies, her clothing has a lot of skulls, zombies, etc. I just don't get how he can fall in love with someone like me after he loved her for 5 years. They've been split up for a year.
Yes, did he not explain why he's like that. Sounds to me like he's there very temporarily, hasn't really re-established himself after the breakup. It may be he lost a bunch of stuff to her, doesn't have the funds. Guys are notoriosly not good about decorating and "bachelor pad". I'd slow down and take a hard look at his emotional health while dating...
Some people live pretty spartan. Most people do accumulate stuff over time though. But I've never met anyone that old with so little. That doesn't mean they don't exist though.
I went for years when I could put everything I own in a car and hit the road. I kinda miss those days. Possessions feel like a prison to me now. I've considered renting a big dumpster, and throwing all my crap in it. Then put on a backpack and hit the road. That's total freedom and I miss it.
By chance does he have a job that takes him on the road a lot? Like is he only in town a few days a month? Or does he do sales or something and maintains multiple apartments in different cities?
So what's your concern? I have to ask because from what I read you just described two peoples lives and what their individual lives consist of. Why is he with you how should I know how should any of us know there are literally could be hundreds of diffrent potential reasons why he is with you. Ask him because that's the only actual person that can give you an answer to this; asking the rest of the world won't do anything, but give you a whole bunch of maybes and what if's. As for how he lives as far as I can tell he just likes to keep things simple living wise, but that's something else you can and need to ask him if you want an answer. All I can tell is my that he has you and probably is happy about that so go and talk with your man insted of us. Well hope you get the answers you are looking for in him and I wish you both luck in your relationship. Good luck dear.
Some people live frugal and buy just the bare necessities... I don't think that's weird. In terms of the ex, maybe he went through a phase with her or something, but realized she isn't the type for long term compatibility with him.
sounds like his house needs a womans touch if his house seems a little spartan its because thats the way he likes his house. yes his exgf may have been a goth but, some guys are into blondes or brunettes etc
It is strange, I grant you. However, he maybe a minimalist.
He might be minimalist. Truth is you are overanalyzing the situation.
Answer this honestly, are you looking for man to settle down with? I'm 34 and I date women in their 20s because they seem less judgmental and picky about simple issues you mentioned above. Not to say they don't have their own downsides (immature at times). However women my age give me a harder time.
by the way - I make a 130K a year (I struggled up to now) and 100% debt free. I want to buy real estate but right now is a horrible time (especially in colorado). I spend half the month at a company leased apartment and the other with my family to SAVE EXTRA MONEY so I can eventually buy something really nice. Would you automatically judge me if I told you my situation? Or would you ask questions and try to find the reason behind it? Things are usually more complicated then they look. I would politely ask your new boyfriend why he lives this way. He might have a good reason why. Also don't stalk his ex on FB. That is just going to screw up everything.
My little brother has lived in cars, like a perma-roadtrip, for stretches of up to 2 years in a row before. Not talking "had to sleep in his car because hard times" -- nope, he just... didn't really feel like having an apartment. Lol. This did surprisingly little to impede his dating life, in case that was the next question.
You are probably just dealing with a guy who doesn't really give a shit much about material possessions. (The fact that YOU are dating him, too, speaks to YOUR not being overly materialistic, either... that's a good thing.) He may or may not have fallen on hard times; he probably just... doesn't want to have tons of stuff. Lots of guys don't.
I hate clutter, too. In my twenties, I made 6 international moves in about 6 years. After that... I could easily live in the same minimalist environment (if I didn't have kids), except I like my clothes too much. But, yeah, I'd be so totally fine with a small bed, a kitchen, and... tons of closet space. And bookshelves. LOL
Does he want to travel? (Most people who don't accumulate tons of stuff like to travel -- that's a big part of why they don't like to accumulate stuff.) Mb you two could take a trip together?
I agree, some people live with minimal items, and maybe that's how he likes it. Maybe decorating just is not his thing, he'd live nicer if he liked designing his place. Maybe he wants to save money for kids and future stuff not furniture. And people can't help who they fall for. She posts crap like that, that doesn't mean it's who she is. Either way, he's over her for a reason.
Some people are just very simple, a lot of people are different after all, you can not compare yourself to his past because you're simply different. The apartment.. are you sure it's his full time? Some people have 2.. or so.