Guys, Confused after the DTR talk: Exclusivity vs BF/GF?

Today I had the DTR talk with a guy. We have known each other a couple of months, had our first kiss a few weeks ago and have gone all the way since then. I felt like it was time to clear up what we were.

We both agreed upon the fact that we want to continue this and even though I'm "perfect girlfriend material" he's not looking for a girlfriend at the moment. He said he won't be having sex with anyone else while we're still doing it, but he said I can still do whatever I want with other men. Does this mean that he thinks it's a free pass to be involved with other women?

He said we can continue the cuddling and paying for each others meals/drinks when we go out and that we can hold hands/kiss in public. I told him I want a boyfriend, but I don't want the full commitment - no date nights, no meeting parents, nothing serious. Where I'm confused is I didn't ask if he'll call me his girlfriend because I cleared up my definitions of 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend'. I'd like the label so other people know we're exclusive.

So, if we're exclusive but not serious, should I even worry about it since it's only been a couple of months? Could something still come of this? It is bothering me but should I just let it be or should I really get it straight with him about what I expect and how committed he is?


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he isn't ready then why is he with you? I can answer that because it's free pussy with no commitment and it still leaves him free to fuck others which he WILL do and he WILL be ready when someone better comes along. Are you really this dumb?

  • Well from the sounds of it he is telling you that he does not view you as girlfriend material. From what is said, yes he has a free pass to be involved with other women.

    "he said I can still do whatever I want with other men" is his free pass to do whatever he wants with other women. I'm sorry but you are very very far from exclusivity.

    I would not really believe him to be honest because this is exactly the way I would word things if I was looking for multiple fuck buddies.


What Girls Said 1

  • You should make it clear your expectations and desires of this arrangement. It seems like you talked about it sure, but you didn't actually come to a conclusion.