Age Gaps, is there really such a thing as too much of an age difference?

What do you guys think?

I was talking to my friend yesterday about this guy I'm thinking of seeing. We've been talking for a while and have a lot in common. He seems really genuinely nice. I really like him. However, when I told my friend she kind of went like "He's my sisters age!". The guy I'm talking to is 32, and I'm 26 (will be turning 27 in august).

I personally don't think it's too much of an age gap. My ex boyfriend was 31 and my ex before him was the same age. I don't know why my friend was kind of being judgy about it. I feel like it's not that big of a deal.

I've lived on my own, I have my own car, I have a career. It's not like I'm underage or anything. I personally don't think it's a big deal. Now I do tend to look younger than I am. I'm curious to hear what you all think!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Above 18 it's not about the number anymore: it's about the same phase of life
    -same responsibilities,
    -same liberties
    -same experience
    -same finances
    etc, etc.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is such a thing as too big a gap. I class it in two ways - 1. Are the lifestyles too different? This more applies to a couple where one half had a job and a car etc and the other is at uni and partying etc. The two lifestyles don't mesh.

    2. It looks creepy. Obviously referring to like 20s and 60s. But again that will have elements of 1. In there.

    After that, it's what your comfy with. If you are cool with it go for it. I have a friend who has just turned 20 and she is with a recently divorced mid 30s man. I think it's too big a gap due to lifestyles but they are happy to fair enough.

    You get judged in life for everything. That's why every decision should be your choice.

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What Guys Said 21

  • No there's not, my parents have a 14 year age difference. Your difference with this guy is only a few years, it's totally cool. :)

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  • Thats hardly even an age gap in my opinion. Even the current relationship of many couples around me have a bigger gap than that.

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  • Is there such a thing as an age gap? Well. . . would you be interested in dating me? (I have a girlfriend and I am not available.)

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  • I think the gap matters more or less depending on age. Like a 16 year old shouldn't date a 20 year old, at 16 you're still a kid, at 20 you are an adult, even though it's only 4 years it's at an age where 4 years makes a lot of difference. 26 and 32 isn't a problem, you're old enough to know what you're doing.

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  • The 5-6-year age difference is not the end of the world at your age. But more generally a large age difference can certainly be a problem if you're in different phases of your life.

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  • There are two types of people. One who say yes age difference matters. Say use the rule, (AGE/2)+7. He is 32. So 16+7=23. You are comfortably within that rule.

    Others say no age doesn't matter, if you click you click. Every couple is different, and its their business.

    Six years is no difference at all for dating, its non issue.

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  • Thats not too big of an age difference,
    Old enough to be your parent is too big of an age difference

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  • Too much of an age gap only exists when one of the partners is underage.

    In your case, that's hardly even an age gap...

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  • I think that its a matter of being 18<
    as far as other things it doesn't necessarily matter

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  • There's no problem at all. You have experienced a lot of firsts' so it's not like a fresh grad dating a man settling down. I don't mean to inject myself in but, I'm fresh out a year plus relationship where she was 22 while I'm going on 31 & eventually we were at different points of our lives. At 26 you have a decent amount of life experience & more likely understand what you want. All the best.

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  • Of course there's such a thing as too big an age gap, but you're nowhere near that far apart in age.

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  • I think too much of an age difference is when the girl is 14 and the guy is 54, but maybe thats just me... It is a free world after all...

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  • that's not an age gap, and age gap is 20 years, its natural for women to go after men about 5 years older.

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  • ratio is important. max of 3:4 .

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    • Age really shouldn't matter. ^^^ Disappointing

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    • Orphan - That's a dramatized example. 20 and early 40's would be more realistic. Still a large age gap, but I know some happy couples that come close to that range. Closer to 15 years, but still.

      @Redeyemindtricks - Your stories are wonderful. :] Not just because they increase my heart rate. lol. There's passion and love in them. That shows very clearly.
      Ah, probation. Probation is a love/hate thing.

      I like gym time and do it by myself 98% of the time. My partner wouldn't have to workout with me.

      It'd be great to have a partner go with me. However, it's not requirement. There are still slow walks, bike rides, canoeing, etc.

    • @Smmyskittles Lol, I can't do slow. Cannot do it.
      I swear, I have basically infinite patience with most things, but not slow. I can't even stand when I get stuck behind slower people on a sidewalk -- I almost get "pedestrian road rage".

      Like, yeah, no. Fuck slow. I have two speeds: redline and park.
      That pretty much goes for everything in my whole life, now that I think about it. Work, play, workouts, sex, relationships, dieting, creativity, social life... literally everything.

      I work out by myself about half the time, yeah (and when I say "by myself", I literally mean I have the whole gym to myself sometimes -- I usually go between 2 and 4 AM)... but, you get where I'm going with that. It was just one of a whole set of examples.

      but, yeah, I'm pretty much constitutionally incapable of slow. When our kids were still too young to keep up, I'd hike like 20 yards ahead, then stop and wait, then hike 20 yards ahead again, etc.
      I also can't "jog", either. Or walk up stairs one at a time.

  • its not that much of a age gap. its totally fine i think

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  • Age, in my problem, isn't a problem but maturity level tends to be. This gap is nothing.

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  • That's not a bad age gap. That's pretty normal. It's not like you're 19 or something or you're 16 and the guy is 21 (creepy territory). Go on a date and see where it leads. Good luck! :)

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  • The only time i think an age gap is truly WRONG is with people under 18. I don't think an 18 year old should be able go date anyone younger than them. And i think everyone under 17 should limit themselves to their own age, one year younger, or one year older.

    As for anyone above 18: I don't have anything against age gaps. Even an 18 year old and a 50 year old is fine. Although i think age haps are acceptable, however, i usually advise against ones that are too drastic because its likely to not work out.

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  • i dont know why people think that age makes a difference when it comes to relationships...

    In my opinion i dont think it should matter because what really matters is do the two of you like each other? Do you feel comfortable around him, do either of you have a problem with the age difference...

    if its no to all of the above then i think you are good

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  • lol 26 and 32 is not a big age gap lol. they're practically the same age

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  • Yeah, you need guys your own age

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What Girls Said 12

  • That is ridiculous! That is not a big age gap at all! In fact, I think it is pretty ideal, especially those ages in particular. Guys tend to like younger girls but you aren't that much younger and he is old enough where he is most likely established and mature, so I think that is very ideal. by the way, the last guy I was seeing was TEN years YOUNGER than me!! He as mature and put together for his age, so even with that age gap it still only depends on the people, mostly maturity level and where they are at in their lives.

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  • I think the age gap lessens as you grow older. In your case I don't think it's bad at all, but imagine a 14 year old dating a 20 year old, 6 years now seems like a lot, right? I judge more based on life experience. And especially with key life points that are somewhat correlated to age, high school, college, first job, grad school, there are varying levels of experience. However once you're settled, I think the actual number matters less as long as you guys are on the same page.

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  • @Beerfarts - Does an age gap really matter so much? I don't think it does.

    As long as you and the other person are compatible, age shouldn't matter. Right?

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  • definitely. i can't date a guy way older or younger. it'd just feel weird.

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  • 5 years is not much at all when you're adults. But obviously the difference in maturity between a 10 year old and a 15 year old is really big.

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  • That's what 5-6 years? I know quite a few couples with that age gap. It works!. If the age gap was 10+ years then it might be a problem!

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  • That's not that big of an age gap to me. I usually don't go past 5 years younger and 7 years older. It also depends on the actual age. A 26 year old dating a 36 year old sounds a lot better than a 17 year old dating a 27 year old.

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  • Yes, there is such thing as too much... but it varies from person to person just how much is too much. A 26 year old dating 32 is fine, most people wouldn't flinch at all about it. Mid/late 20s and early 30s is a similar life stage so you'll have enough in common that the age gap won't feel like much.

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  • Uhm.

    It's all personal preference; you have to decide what's reasonable guidelines for you. I have to admit the pool shrinks dramatically after 30 for both sides. I'm 20 and I personally think I look my age.

    :\

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  • Yes absolutely. I wouldn't be compatible with a 50 year old because we grew up in different times with completely different perspectives on life. He would be way more experienced and mature than me.
    So anyone who says age is just a number I don't listen to them. Age matters to me.

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  • There's 16 years age gap between me and my husband but we didn't care about that when we decided to get married. You shouldn't care to her opinion even if she's your friend. I mean age gap means nothing when two people are in love and their relationship can work just like any other relationship. Some people like to be so judgy even if that's not their business, trust me i'm going through this now just because of the age gap. I say if you love or want to be with him just do it and don't take people's opinions because they will do their best to put you down so they can prove to you that they were right about you two if the relationship failed.

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  • Of course there is. I think a successful relationship can't happen if people are on different pages

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