How do I get asked out or approached by guys?

I'm almost 20 and every girl i know has either had a boyfriend or been asked out but me. i wasn't even asked to any school dances in high school. I'm 5'6, I weigh 115 pounds. I'm half columbian half korean. My bra size is 32D or 32DD but I don't show them off because i don't want that kind of attention. once at school I heard a guy say he wanted to have sex with me even though i dress slightly more conservative compared to other girls. I've seen some boys look at me even boys with girlfriends sometimes but I've never been asked out once. I'm shy but im a nice girl. I also made honor roll at my college so I'm doing well at school. most guys have asked out girls so i don't think they're scared to ask. most have been on dates and have had at least one girlfriend by now. i always thought i was average looking but I'm starting to think I'm probably ugly considering I've never been asked out. i don't always smile or talk but I'm not a bad person. why don't guys give me a chance? they never even flirt/talk to me. for other girls it seems to easy to get a boyfriend and have guys talking to them/be interested in them and even after their relationship ends they get a new boyfriend in a week. i just wish i could experience what its like to have a guy be interested in me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well imagine yourself as a guy and now this guy is not you but is similar to you. He never talked or showed any interest toward anyone. He was just quiet all the time. If you liked this guy that was exactly like you would you approach him and show your interest or just keep hoping to yourself that he would make the move instead?

    No instead you are at an impasse because neither of you are being aggressive enough or willing to give of any queues to show interest in each other.

    I think meeting people in a way is like fishing. You probably won't catch anything with no bait unless you just happen to find a desperate aggressive creeper like fish lol... You need to bait your hook with certain social queues that signal to men that they should approach you. Even just smiling at a guy you like can change everything if he is the aggressive type that will make a move first but if you nervously turn your head away you will send the wrong signals like that maybe you don't like that person.

    Try more to put yourself into situations that will force interaction with people you like then just make sure you should them you like them even if its subtle. By all means avoid antisocial awkward flight tendencies and try to be strong. People don't know you are evasive because you are shy they will think its because you don't like them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you don't look approachable? I have this problem sometimes. I'm shy too but to some people it comes across as arrogance. Like I feel superior and don't even bother talking to them, even though I'm just shy and quiet. Maybe you have this problem too? Try to smile more and act more friendly

    • Did someone say that you come across as mean?

    • No, but they seemed surprised that I was actually being nice to them... As if they expected me to be a bitch

    • you seem nice don't worry :)

What Guys Said 5

  • Here's a proposition.
    If you like something , go get it.
    If you have someone in your cross-hair , pull the trigger , don't wait for the target to come to you and pull to trigger for you.
    How about that?
    The pro-active modern female who know what she wants and get what she wants.
    As opposed to the passive damsel in distress waiting for some white knight to just wander by.

    • thats easier said than done especially for someone like me. how do i approach them if I'm shy

    • Make a friend?
      Use your surrounding.
      There's a billion things in the world , good , bad. Late bus? Talk about it. Same school , company , talk about it. Nice threads , compliments em. They ride a motorcycle , talk about it. If it works out , keep going.
      Unless of course you live in Barren McBarren Town and the most interesting thing that happens round town is the weather. Then that's tough.

  • You go on about your life and when the right time and place presents itself, someone will approach you.
    you could change it up and approach someone instead of waiting.

    Either way everyone wants to rush love and find that special one. You're still very young. Live your life and don't worry about having penis in your life. It'll happen when it's meant to. Just have to put yourself out there. And no, not at a bar or club either.

    • What should I do or say when I approach someone?

    • It all depends on the environment you're in and what you're doing. Friendliness and smiling goea a long way.

  • You do the approaching.

  • Well breast size has nothing to do with it... Overall looks count.

    • like i said i think i'm average so like a 5 but there's a lot of girls that get attention based on their boobs/butt... even if they aren't that pretty

    • For some guys that is true, yes.

  • Nowadays, more girls are approaching or flirting with guys than ever. So the guys who you may like might already be hit on by someone else if you take your sweet time. That's why if you like a guy, you gotta let him know fast.

    • Yeah that seems like it. How should I approach a guy if I'm shy?

    • Just tell him you like him. Or flirt with him if you can.

What Girls Said 2

  • I can totally relate to you OP!
    I feel the same way until I make some more new male friends.
    We don't know why they don't ask us out and even girls you consider not good looking can get BFs.
    But if we continuously think of that negatively, it won't benefit us.
    So my suggestion is, try to make yourself a bit more pretty in your own eyes and smile more to look more approachable.

  • "I'm shy"
    I guess that's your problem then. You should talk to men more.