He is gone, or is he?

Dated about 10mnths.
4 mnths holidays = perfect (committed, loving. Nothing better)

He went back to uni & I started work full time. Knew it would be hard.
At first = saying he loved me, wanted to be with me, missed me. Came home every weekend & I visited.

We started getting boring, staying in instead of going out.
We started talking less. Conversations became rushed "I love you's" or small talk.
We started disagreeing more & started feeling sad.
He made new friends at uni & sharing things with them instead of me. I became irrelevant & unimportant.

After short visit he went back & went silent - barely heard from him for 3wks until he visited.
Apart from occasional snapchat or message = mixed signals.

Weekend visit = Daytime meeting on the Sunday. Not dinner & sleepover as usual. It was normal & comfortable.
We slept together = BAD, i know.
He said he pushed me away, he wasn't comfortable with the serious & boring where it was, wanted the happy & fun. He has said from beginning that he is scared of complacency.

I think he loved too hard, got scared, pushed me away & now not interested (except when i'm having fun)?
He said I make him happy. I tried, just so hard.

As I left he hugged me so long, kissed me goodbye & implied he would see me when he is home.
He asked what I wanted to do because he hasn't been in this situation before & can't decide. I said I don't want to lose him.
We decided to focus on our own lives but not cut each other out.
I haven't heard from him (5 days), but I have been ok (didn't think i would be)

I love him & he was my best friend before anything - don't want to lose him & his friendship.
But if he is going to try & change me into a f*** buddy then NO.
I want him back, as long as it takes. Even if I have to wait until he finishes (end of yr) & date around until then.

Throw suggestions at me! I'm SO CONFUSED about what to do - what he wants, what I want, how to not be his f buddy, how to get him back & get the fun back.


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