I need honesty, Is it too late to get the love of my life back?

I dated Sean when I was 20 for 3 years. He called me 5 years later and for the past 5 years he has contacted me periodically, wanting to see me. Well I was afraid I didn't look as good as then and didn't want to disappoint him. Then he moved a girlfriend in about a 1 1/2 years ago and I didn't want to interfere. Finally after his now fiancé(same girl) found a text I sent to him, I decided to see him the next day(this week). It was like time had never passed between us. He feels guilty and isn't sure if he wants to pursue "us". I can't blame him. It's not like he didn't try before and after she entered the picture. Or that the hundreds of times I made excuses of why I couldn't see him, wouldn't make him waver on what my true intentions are. I was scared to see him and I'm afraid I waited to long. I love him and I want him happy. This isn't a I want him because I can't have him. This is a now that the partying, BS younger days are over, he is everything I ever wanted and thought we would be one day. I can't see not having him in my life. Seeing him only strengthened my feelings for him. I am trying but failing miserably to separate my feelings for him. We decided to talk via email from now on unless he texts or calls me. I tried to let him initiate contact first but sent an email today telling him how good it felt seeing him again--short but sweet. Why did he still see me after she caught him? Why has he been trying for so many years to see me? I know I have to wait and see where he goes from here. I don't know how honest to be and I don't want to wig him out and lose him from my life forever. I asked him what made him decide to get married and he didn't really know. He said their lives just kinda merged together and it seemed like the next step to take. I knew the girl was moving in on her territory when she moved in and subtly made her mark so he would need her for bills ect.. I was frozen and couldn't get myself to see him these past 5 years but really wanted to do so. Also, I tried not to see him because I felt for this girl. I wouldn't want to have that done to me. However, I just can't go down without a fight. The wedding date is for January 2011. Please help! What may he be thinking? What do I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, if you feel so strongly about this, then you shouldn't beat around the bush and just tell him how you feel. You really don't have anything to lose because he is not yours. It's a win/win situation for you. If you tell him and he reciprocates your feelings and decides to pursue things with you, then great! If he acts like he doesn't know what he really wants, but feels that he has to marry this other girl, then you know where he stands and you can let go and move on with your life. You won't know anything though unless you are upfront with him.

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  • ok not going to lie you are in a hell of a situation here-kudos to you for trying to respect his fiance, but he is giving you enough hints here to tell you that it's you he desires, he's just stuck in a relationship right now, but he isn't going to get out of it for you if he has a doubt of your feelings for him. the right thing to do is to tell him how you feel, that he's everything you ever wanted etc and that you aren't pressuring him or anything, you just wanted him to know before he got married. hopefully he chooses you. good luck. but you do need to be upfront with him about how you feel. because atm his fiance "has" him, and you are chasing him, so you can't play games or try to be subtle about it.

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