Do guys prefer straightforward girls over those who are hard to get?

[Anonymous]

I've never had a relationship, that's because I am afraid of commitment and being played, or hurt. And that's why I rejected most of the guys that liked me. I had dates, never went far. But now there's a guy that I really like and I want something more. But I'm still thinking about being played. I hate showing my feelings, he already told me he likes me and sends me nice texts but I'm still a bit cold towards him. I am not trying to play hard to get, I really am, that's my nature. I can't really confess him right now that I like him. Can you give me some tips on how not to make myself a fool? What do guys like in a girl? To be open, straightforward, warm or mysterious and a bit cold, not showing the feelings from the very beginning, just giving some signs?

[kitty71]

Interesting topic and Im going to give my opinion too. Im similar to you and Im much older. I also never had serious dates at all, I never had a relationship either in the past but im also afraid of being played out even at my age beacuse I haven't that experience to know for sure. Some guys even at adult ages like to play hard to get others like straight forward girls, but in my case who never had had any kind of dating expreince or even hang out with a guy for some times,

I still get afraid of getting hurt and I could act like a kid sometimes because it is like im a first time girl who is excited about seeing a guy, therefore I never told directly a guy who I liked, because I was afraid of what he may think, maybe he is not into me so I still keep it to myself. I met this guy last year he is 42 years old, he seem pretty cool guy, we had similar interests, we broke the ice quickly (that had never ever happened to me before only with this guy) one of the reasons I thought things could start to go well, he seems for the way he treated me he liked me but never told me directly, so I was excited, someone finally paid attention to me. We even gone to one date, and even made out, he told and shared to me me (not because I asked though) stuff about his personal life a bit, he even asked me what did i think of him.

In summary there were several things I thought the guy was into me especialy becaue of the way we got along, and the good time at the date, but then this guy went on a European trip and told me that whatever we have or it was is not going to work, that he is sorry. I mean it was just one date, he came to the conclusion taht he alreayd knew me in one date?

Noone knows the person to see if things are going to work in one date.
But then I found out the guy enjoy being single and enjoy life and not being in a relationship, , and he wants to keep it simple and drama free and he is 42 years old!!

One thing I never mention to him when we met that I wanted to marry him or that I wanted to be in a serious relationnship we were just knowing each other im not taht fool!! So I dont get why he wanted to know about my love status back then and want to know things about me if he was not interested then.

I mean I did like him and he seems he was also so I just play along, but I never told him I was attracted or that I like him I thing it would had been worse If I did even if I came straight forward in that case honesty for me would had been worse.

[edibor]

The very fact that you are asking "what do guys like in a girl" sets you up for being played or hurt. You are willing to change your own personality to suit the guy you are trying to pursue. That will never work. You need to just be yourself. If that means you're cautious, then be cautious. If that means you're an outgoing person who wants to disclose her full self immediately, then do it. Never worry about "how" to present yourself, or you're by nature more likely to draw in people who are not genuinely interested in you because you're not giving them "you."

[Anonymous]

I'm a really straight-forward, cut and dry kind of girl, so it's very difficult for me to keep my feelings in for a long time before I have to stop pretending like I don't care. But, this can and has worked against me when it comes to guys.

But in another way, I feel like if he loses interest because I show too much interest, then I'd never really had him to begin with. He wasn't ever that into me, or he'd be flattered by the attention I give him. So yeah, I don't know what to really think about it.

[paulina_g]

You sound just like me. I don't know what advice to give you to be honest. Maybe you could just tell him what you told us so that he doesn't get the wrong idea? A guy won't keep chasing you forever if you don't shown any signs of liking him back. Only a fool would do that. I learned that the hard way... Just tell him the truth and I'm sure he'll understand. If he's serious about you he'll do everything in his power to prove that he deserves your trust. Good luck!

[Rawrzz]

Straightforward is always more preferable. I don't know where this "guys love the chase" shit came from, but it doesn't apply to me.

Alright. Chances are you really will get played, honestly. That's just how relationships go. They're awesome for awhile, then they breakdown for one reason or another. The good ones. And if they don't break down and they last a long time, they end up becoming miserable most of the time. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

But, if you're always focusing on that, then you will never live life.

There's a saying they throw around in NA. "When we dwell in the past, we get depressed. When we dwell on the future, we get anxious. Learn from the past, live in the present, plan for the future."

You have to live in the now. You can't live in the future, worrying about everything that *could* happen. And if you truly want a relationship, you have to get over your fear and take a leap. It probably will turn to shit, and you might get hurt really bad. But denying yourself the chance at some amazing times shouldn't keep you from that, in my opinion. And you'll learn from that experience and be able to adjust for the future. Normally I don't recommend relationships to anyone, but if you've never been in one, I think having the experience just "to know" is best. Well, right now I believe that. I might change my mind later...>.>

I really don't believe that relationships should be planned out and tried to be manipulated. As trite as it is, be yourself. Like I said, live in the moment. Let go of all the anxiety of planning and trying to say the right thing at the right time, and focusing on the future. Just go with the flow. That's always how I've done it, and I'm not disappointed with the results. You know what to do, it's in your DNA. You just have to let go of your mind and just get in the vibe. You can do that without completely letting go of your mind. I'm not saying "be an idiot"... If that made sense.

Don't think "Oh, I'm going to fuck it up." Focus on the situation, enjoy it.

I'll say that all of my deep relationships stemmed from both of us just being open and not playing silly games like "oh, I should wait 5 hours, 26 minutes until I text them." Just do what you feel and what you want to do.

I will say that one thing guys really hate is subtlety. Well most of us probably. We do not understand it, generally, by nature. It's something we have to learn that women do, in my opinion.

[lightbulb27]

Explain where you are at, that you like him, but you are very reserved at this point and don't want to get hurt... so you have boundaries and have to go slow. that will help. doing what you are doing is games, confusing and he can't decode it. he might run if you tell him... no-one wants someone who is not confident and secure. I don't blame you for not wanting to be played and hurt, that is a risk of extending yourself. Just don't give sex away, keep it on the surface, if he likes you, he will accept your boundary.

[joeb73]

here is a way that might solve your problem. just say to him you dont let people in very easily and it takes time for you to open up and express your self. it nothing against him. and it he can except it and understand, you are open to see what happens. that way you are not totally expressing interest and not blowing him off ether.
that way you both get a chance to know each other better with out commitment and gives you time to gain trust in him.
i hope everything works out for you in the end

[JohnDoe3000]

I just don't get it. All these questions that start with "he told me he likes me..."

I mean did you just run away when he told you this? How come you didn't answer him?

To answer your question, we don't like it if you throw yourself at us, but playing hard to get is just nasty. Be receptive, let the flirting escalate, show interest in your conversations with a guy, etc...

In your case the guy has already decided the time for flirting/playing games is over because he told you he likes you, so please, for frak's sake, be straightforward with him.

[amazingsushi]

Guys prefer girls who suit their expectations, which are not always the way the guys want them to be.

It's all about confidence.

A guy with high confidence (not like a fuckboy, shows abs on instagram kind of confidence, not like that) tends to follow more of a hard to get girl.

A guy with self-consciousness usually likes to hear from a straightforward girl. Why? Because that straightforward girl can develop confidence for that guy, making him more confident in his own way.

[ArrowheadSW]

I like women who are more straight forward. I tend to attract women who are a lot younger than me, and I can usually tell by their friendliness and openness towards me. The ones who are dark and distant you have to try to figure out all the time and its annoying.

Well, this guy you like, just try to engage him in conversations to see where he is coming from. Try to get to know him before getting involved. See where it goes from there. Do you have common interests?

[MakeShiftThug]

Straightforwardness is such an important and admirable quality someone can possess. Deception, bottling your feelings or creating illusions is bad and destructive.

You don't have to tell a guy everything, but you should at let him know what you're feeling instead of making him guess or be ignorant to the facts.

[Anonymous]

If you like someone, and they don't like you, that doesn't make you a fool. Have feelings, live without shame, if you get hurt, know you can be resilient and get back up and continue living.

Hiding your feelings behind a wall is acting like a child. You're not cold, you're terrified.

Being brave and strong isn't never getting hurt. Being brave and strong is knowing you will sometimes get hurt, and you'll handle it.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Oh for the love of god. Straight forward please! Nothing is more aggravating than women who are too timid to show desire. Women too afraid to "look like a slut" to initiate conversation or sex. Own up to yourself, be authentic, and if he doesn't like you, then great! That's means you don't have to live a miserable relationship hiding who you are.

[Bandit74]

I don't like girls who are hard to get for me but easy to get for other guys.

As far as being straightforward, if a girl is straightforward with me about how she feels and what she wants, I would have no problem doing the same for her.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Bc they know what they want. They are more successful in life in general. Not fucked up little Disney girls that you're always guessing how to make them happy lol so many pink anons on gag struggle with this and playing games smh

[Anonymous]

I totally understand you, it ruined probably the chance with being a very amazing man once for me. 😔 Just don't wait too before you regret stuff that you should have said earlier.

[RexCatholicissimus]

I can 100% guarantee you that men love women that are huge bitches.

[JSmuve]

I don't like ice queens. They're a turn off. I like girls that are warm, affectionate, and let me know where I stand with them.

[worldscolide]

I prefer a woman who is straight with me. Your fear is something you're going to have to get over.. Or you will be alone forever.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone prefers straightforward over guessing games

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

errr that's obvious hard to get. I'm not into games that's bullshit.

[FrenchyRomain]

straightforward for me... i hate girls who play hard to get

[scooogy]

straight forward, everyone's growing up some day, so this childish "hard to get" stuff is just bs.

[Tscheck]

I prefer girls who are straightforward and show what they want from the beginning, so there is no confusion or games played.

[Anonymous]

I like straight forward girls better. I'm not interested in girls who like playing games, I lose interest real fast.

[Anonymous]

Straightforward girl any day. I don't waste time with girls who play games