Was this considered "abuse"?
At 17, I met a 24 year old guy on Facebook who was friends with one of my friends' boyfriend's. He sent me a message & we started talking. He worked as a female youth detention counselor & was VERY nice & professional. I never got involved with meaningless relationships and kept a lot to myself, so I wasn't someone experienced with anything like this - I never even had a boyfriend before this & seeing how put together and conversational he was, he seemed a lot more mature than guys my age. About 3 weeks in, he became a little more flirty & as innocent as I was, I didn't think much of it. I started flirting back & I never saw how disrespectful he was being. 2 months in, he was texting me non-stop. He was moving out of his dad's house on Christmas & wanted me to help him, but considering I was with family, I couldn't & we got in a big fight. He invited me to a NYE party with his friends - which made me uncomfortable - & I told him my sister & I had already made plans & he freaked out & said to "just fucking come." My dad was in the hospital one night & bc I didn't want to leave him, Chris didn't talk to me for days & blamed me for him not feeling good enough. I started lying to my parents about what was going on as he already didn't want me hanging out with family
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He was attempting to isolate you from your family members to control you. That's pretty basic abuse. Just because he didn't hit you doesn't mean he wasn't hurting you. I'm sure that now that you're in counseling you're realizing how much his comments have stuck with you. My first boyfriend was a lot like that but instead of outright isolating me, he made me feel like I wasn't spending time with him to hurt him. It was a really bad relationship and I'm glad I got out. But, basically in my opinion, what he did was abusive.1