Was this considered "abuse"?

Was this considered "abuse"?

At 17, I met a 24 year old guy on Facebook who was friends with one of my friends' boyfriend's. He sent me a message & we started talking. He worked as a female youth detention counselor & was VERY nice & professional. I never got involved with meaningless relationships and kept a lot to myself, so I wasn't someone experienced with anything like this - I never even had a boyfriend before this & seeing how put together and conversational he was, he seemed a lot more mature than guys my age. About 3 weeks in, he became a little more flirty & as innocent as I was, I didn't think much of it. I started flirting back & I never saw how disrespectful he was being. 2 months in, he was texting me non-stop. He was moving out of his dad's house on Christmas & wanted me to help him, but considering I was with family, I couldn't & we got in a big fight. He invited me to a NYE party with his friends - which made me uncomfortable - & I told him my sister & I had already made plans & he freaked out & said to "just fucking come." My dad was in the hospital one night & bc I didn't want to leave him, Chris didn't talk to me for days & blamed me for him not feeling good enough. I started lying to my parents about what was going on as he already didn't want me hanging out with family

Updates:
My dad called him one day, seeing as he'd blocked half of my family on Facebook & how stressed I was, & Chris got very defensive, saying "She's 17 - do you know the law? There's nothing you can do about it." After that, my parents finally got through to me & made me realize how bad of a situation this was. I felt like I ruined his life after he lost his job, & my parents filed a retraining order & put me in counseling. I've been noticing how much of that time I blocked out, & still feel incredib
ibly stupid for ever getting involved with him. My counselor categorized it as emotional abuse, but that doesn't seem right.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • How stupid are you?
    Never even talk to these type of guys. Just tell him to fuck off

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    • It's not like I knew this was going to happen. My parents are 9 years apart, we were 7, and although my dad didn't like the idea, my mom figured he was fine considering he worked in the prison system (as did both of my parents) and knew my cousin. I had never had a boyfriend before this, and he was extremely respectful and seemed to have had his life very together. He showed no faulty character or any bad intentions, either. It wasn't until I told my mom what was going on that I realized what I had gotten involved in, and how he had become a completely different man from the one he showed in the beginning. So there was no way I could have known.

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    • Thank you ☺

    • thnks for mho

Most Helpful Girl

  • He was attempting to isolate you from your family members to control you. That's pretty basic abuse. Just because he didn't hit you doesn't mean he wasn't hurting you. I'm sure that now that you're in counseling you're realizing how much his comments have stuck with you. My first boyfriend was a lot like that but instead of outright isolating me, he made me feel like I wasn't spending time with him to hurt him. It was a really bad relationship and I'm glad I got out. But, basically in my opinion, what he did was abusive.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Did you ask this a week or two ago?

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    • I think it posted again because my phone froze on the page two days ago and has been doing weird things since. It's been doing this with Facebook as well

  • No it wasn't considered abuse
    Not in my opinion

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, emotional abuse is the correct terminology for it.

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  • It is emotional abuse.

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