Why is everyone on this website so insecure? If you aren't in that category, then why not?

Every other question seems to be like... does he/she like me? How can I win him/her back? He/she cheated on me, what do I do now? Blah blah blah. It's all very depressing. I'm looking for the other guys and girls who laugh when they see these kinds of things because they actually have self-respect and don't waste their time and energy on such frivolous issues. Those of you who simply move on with your own lives in pursuit of your own happiness instead. Surely I can't be the only one on here. For the sake of asking a REAL question... then how did you all gain your self-esteem, confidence, and integrity in the first place? For all you insecure types out there, pay close attention to these replies and learn from them.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, isn't that the purpose of sites like this? I think a lot of people who ask those questions are simply young and inexperienced. Deep down, most of them already know the answer to their question but they want to hear other people confirm it. They want to know that they're not alone and that others have similar experiences. And some of them really are inexperienced and just want advice. There's nothing wrong with that. Personally I find it more annoying when people ask if a certain trait is desirable to the opposite sex or not because they feel insecure. For instance, do guys like small boobs, is my dick too small to please a girl, do white girls only go for white guys etc. I see questions like this almost everyday and for some reason they get more responses than real, genuine questions where someone actually needs advice. Sorry for the rant. Haha but to answer your question, I don't think confident people feel the need to ask those kinds of questions. They feel secure enough to trust their own judgement and don't feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers why a certain guy/girl lost interest in them. Instead of over-analyzing every single detail they ask the only person who has the answer or simply move on. At least that's how I see it. I don't know how to gain such confidence and self-esteem because I'm still working on it myself. But I guess feeling confident in your own skin and striving to be the best version of yourself (eat healthy, exercise, take care of yourself) is the first step. It helped me a great deal

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Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 9

  • I use to be self conscious and focus on my flaws until a person in my life told me that I do that and he didn't understand why. He said your fine how you are yet you only see the bad. I didn't want to be viewed that way. So I embraced the things I couldnt change and did things to change what I could about myself. Since then, I believe people when they compliment me and laugh at myself when I do something goofy. It relieved a lot of stress caused by myself and helped me to become more carefree and overall just a happier person. I am happy with myself and now no longer strive for acceptance from everyone. I know I'm flawed but I also know that it's ok.

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  • People who aren't overly insecure tend to not have quite as many questions. I mean... what are they going to ask? 'Is my 9" dick too big for you, girls?'

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    • OK that's actually a good point. So are you one of those people or not? The second half of my question was directed at why/how some of us aren't insecure. I'm trying to organize this population a little bit in a way that the others can potentially learn how/why some of us just don't give a fuck about stupid shit. I believe that's ultimately what they're all seeking...

    • lol yeah. I'd say I'm more of the secure type.
      How did I gain that confidence? A lot of work. Exercising regularly actually helped me a lot, as did just deciding that it's time I faced my fears. The more I did that, the more I began to realize that I was my own worse enemy, y'know?

    • Yep. That's exactly the kind of answer I'm looking for. But not for myself haha because I'm already content. Ugh.. I was hoping this question would take off bigger than this, but it's not looking good. At the very least, I was hoping more people like you (us) would be posting. But perhaps the self-conscious people are more focused on complaining about their own issues than actually seeking solutions. Oh well... we tried haha.

  • the way i see it, my mom told me that i was ugly, fat, stupid, and crazy. she also told me that "I was a failure." Now, I've lots of guys tell me I'm pretty and I just kind of blew it off. It doesn't get any worse than your own mother telling you things as nasty as that. And the way i see it? I don't have to be pretty, because I know I'm smart. I've also been told I have artistic talent. That's good enough for me. If you think I'm pretty cool. If not, oh well. I came to terms with that a long time ago.

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  • i accepted my flaws a while ago, i do care what people think of me but not as much as people should care of what *i* think of *them*. most people walk into a room very self aware but i walk in analyzing everybody there. everyone is ready to *be* judged but fewer actually do the judging.

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  • I'm not one of those people but I wouldn't laugh at them either. I have my own issues that I'd rather not share with complete strangers.

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    • Sorry, I didn't mean "laugh" at others who post those kinds of questions, but rather we just laugh it off when it happens to us in our own lives. Also, the entire concept of this website is based off of asking personal questions to complete strangers, so uhh... not sure what you're trying to get from this, but feel free to share ha.

    • Oh ok, yeah if something like that happened to me I wouldn't see too much in it other than cutting the problem off. I don't ask personal questions on here, I ask weird questions lol

  • they just dont have emotional security over a lot of things

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  • that's what you get from a website that focuses on dating advices

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  • I think most are young.

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  • If they weren't, they wouldn't be here. Myself included

    This is a help site afterall

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What Guys Said 1

  • People who ask questions tend to be more insecure than those who answer them.

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