Am I right or wrong for refusing to buy drinks for women I don't even know at bars?

Yeah maybe it's because I am cheap, but I don't want to invest any money (which is getting more and more difficult to obtain) on women, in fact, people in general, that I am unsure if they like or don't like me. I think it's just like gambling. Also, buying women drinks boost up their egos even more, but money plays a bigger factor. I only want to invest money on someone who I know will like/love me. Besides I don't want to invest on someone who hasn't even earned it.

However, some argues that if a guy doesn't go to bars and buy drinks for women, then he is not trying hard enough. Or that he is just being a cheap person, which can hinder a relationship. Or simply, he is "no fun." Well what do you all think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you don't want to, you don't have to. You're not obligated to buy anyone a drink, and it doesn't make much difference in whether a girl's interested or not anyway. She is, or she isn't, and one drink won't do much to change that. Talking to her might.

    Personally, I've bought drinks for people I don't know that well, just 'cause. Not because I'm trying to "invest" in them, but we're having a good time, they're cool to talk to, and people buy each other drinks sometimes. They've done the same for me, too.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You want my HONEST ASS OPINION ! YOU'RE TOTALLY FUCKING RIGHT !

    (to women reading my post, please cover your eyes for these next few words are super rude) DUDE... FUCK BITCHES... THEY EXPECT ALL KINDS OF SHIT, WTF? LIKE BITCH... this redbull vodka is 13 dollars, I could fill up a few gallons of gas in my GTI and go to work for a few days, but INSTEAD, NOOOOOOO... you want MEEE, to pay you a fucking drink, JUST to have an excuse to be able to talk to me. As if my personality is gonna go from I'm awesome, to I'm a worthless piece of shit, just cuz i didn't get you a drink. Bitch get your damn drink (again sorry ladies, but im being rude for a reason, ps: im actually a total gentleman when it comes down to it) but man I can't stand the ladies who EXPECT ONE. thats the key words here. If a girl didn't ask and I'm in the mood to get her a beer, thats a different story. I might not care about 5 bucks and lets just go hit it off IF, AND ONLY IF, i can tell you're SUPER COOL and already a blast to talk to. But Ifwe just met like 2 seconds ago and you ask me for a drink or expect me to buy you one... you can suck this dick. lol... no seriously... cuz I'm not about to watch you sip away 13 dollars and waltz back over to your girls. fuck that. If anything, i get girls to buy me a drink. Usually the challenge catches them off guard, they are surprised im so daring, and if they do, they're in it (the convo) for the right reasons. And then I reward that action later. Be it the best sex ever, or yA KNOW... just a drink lmao... but all in all... i dont EVER... buy girls drinks, unless we've been talking for a while and this isn't our first date. PERIOD.

    ladies, once again, im sorry but I was referring to the "shitty" category of girls that think we're gonna serve everything on a golden platter and they rule the world... ya... no

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What Girls Said 15

  • I think just for Someone Special who Might be a Good... Catch or a Chat... You never Know where it may Go.
    Do not Become an Enabler to Be Used to Begin a Beguine of having To 'Invest any Money,' Honey.
    Should you go Back, You don't want to be the One that Everyone Slaps on the Back With... Look who is Back, it's Generous Jack.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I agree with you. Only bar sluts hang out waiting for guys to buy them drinks. I wouldn't waste my money on that. 👎🏻

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  • Meh, it's not really a right or wrong situation, I don't think. You're fully entitled to choose how you spend your money.

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  • You know what? I like this.

    If I go to bars, I decline *all* drinks. From guys and gals.
    I'vehad women send drinks to me before. Not yet accepted a single one.

    Come up and talk to me if you're interested. :]

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  • You're right. I've never met anyone that said they met their significant other by buying them a drink at a club. Some people just go with the hopes for free drinks.

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  • I agree with you, I wouldn't spend my money on random strangers either!

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  • Uh... you are definitely under zero obligation to buy women or men drinks. Like it's nice and all but whoever goes into a bar expecting someone to buy them drinks, well.
    I actually hate when someone tries to pick up my tab. It makes me self conscious about drinking. I also hate when strangers buy me drinks. I have no idea how I'm supposed to react because I doubt a thanks and a nod is enough.

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  • Wait, are women actually ask that you do that?

    I wouldn't care if you bought me a drink or not... women shouldn't just expect you to do it. That's really petty and odd.

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  • You shouldn't have to buy a girl a drink just to get her to talk to you. Talk to her first and if she's earned it then buy her one.

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  • People don't usually buy drinks at bars to make people like them. I never heard of men having to buy a drink for a woman to get her. Have you ever tried getting a girl to like you without buying her a drink?

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  • I don't know why that would be wrong? it's ur money

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  • If you're at a bar to pick up women, that probably will be a problem. You might just try looking elsewhere for women.

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  • I agree with you, you're never obligated to buy a woman drinks, let alone a complete stranger.

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  • It's not wrong. You're not forced to do so.

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  • It's your choice.

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What Guys Said 20

  • It is your choice. You are not obligated to buy drinks for any women. Yes, buying woman drinks does fuel women acting entitled and getting massive egos and us men already have a massive problem with women that act this way, we don't need anything more to fuel it. I like your way of thinking of only spending money on a woman that loves you and has earned it. More men need to just stop handing women everything just because they are female. The "not trying hard enough" argument is rubbish and to me is only said by people that only care about their own interests. Anyway, don't feminists claim feminism is about equal rights between men and women so maybe men have bought women enough drinks and women should start buying men drinks to catch up with the number of drinks men have bought women all this time.

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  • I don't blame you.

    Over time those transactions add up and if most of the time those dates or drinks at the bar fail to lead to anything then you're wasting your money. Like if during a month you spend $200 on dates and drinks for girls and not one of them had sex with you or became your girlfriend then it was a waste.

    Also the same woman who would expect you to pay for dates, buy her drinks and wait over a month for sex has most likely spread her legs in the past for men who didn't spend a dime on her or even
    wait more than a week. Instead of blowing money on them try to work on your appearance and flirting skills so that you can get women to desire you just based on your sex appeal and not what you spend on them. Try to be the type of guy women want to sleep with without them expecting anything from you in return.

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  • "Not trying hard enough" for what? sex? There's more to life than sexual pleasure. I don't even care how cliché it sounds. Bars are mostly a breeding ground for people who isn't "trying hard enough" since they expect the bar to provide..

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  • Of course what you said makes sense. But in reality it won't work that way. The reality is that when a drink is offered. You are giving up something for her time or to get her attention. You don't have to do it but keep in mind many guys do. Which puts you at a disadvantage

    Sure it won't always matter to every girl. But from my experience, most girls expect it even if they say they don't

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  • Smart lad.

    The only thing that buying a woman a drink is doing is telling her that you would make a good provider, not someone that she would truly have feelings for. By refusing to buy her a drink, you are showing her that you aren't going to be tied down easier and that she needs to earn that from you, thus making you more attractive. Think of it like sex probation except it's not your dick in her pussy being a privilege, it's resources.

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  • I don't think you're wrong.

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  • you're not investing in the woman you buy a drink for, you're investing in your future to find love.

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  • Your perfectly within your right to do so if you wish, nothing wrong with it.

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  • me and my friends buy drinks for each other often but never for girls. unless you are certain that they will buy one back for you.

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  • Totally right and I recommend all men do the same.

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  • totally not. we should end the female entitlement to free drinks and being approached!

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  • I never did.

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  • They're not entitled to free drinks.

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  • What makes this a moral issue?

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  • You're right

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  • Your money doesn't beling to women and a woman expecting to be brought drinks is deluded.

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  • If you want to attract women, do what you want to. Period. It's really just that simple.

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  • You're totally right

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  • I don't see why you'd blow money on somebody you don't know. The woman's not broke.

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  • Yeah man, you're probably cheap. Alot' of people go to bars to socialize and not necessarily to pick up women. That's why you'll see regulars buy each other drinks The fact you think a drink is some form of down payment is kinda odd.

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