A guy I have been hanging out with and crushing on turns out to have a girlfriend?

So i was eyeing this group of guys for 6 months because we share same punk clothing style. Then about two months ago we both happened to be on subway at the same time sonthey chatted me up. And they liked me and said we should hangout from now on. Now for two months we hang out about 3 times a week.
at first they all kinda flirted with me but after two weeks of hanging out it was obvious that one guy and i really liked eachother. So the other guys backed off. And now treat me like a little sister. Because im the only girl in the gang. And every now and then some new guy will come by to hang with us. And they will usually try to flirt with me too. But they nip that in the butt right away. And someone will wisper to him that no.. she is off limits. And then they stop immediately. Because the guy im crushing on gets jealous when I pay significant attention to another guy.
But anyway last night i was hanging out with them. We went to a dance club. They act like my personal body guards. And the only one who really touches me is my crush. And he just playfully squeezes my arm or he will lead me somewhere by holding my hand or pressing my waist. But no bumping or grinding.
on our way home we are walking and suddenly a girl I've never seen walks up to my crush and they start talking. She doesn't greet the other guys or me. So i say under my breath 'who is she?' And my crush turns to me and says this is my girlfriend. He said it so meh this is my girlfriend. And i had a mental breakdown. I couldnt even respond for a second. Then i put on a fake smile and offer her a handshake. Then big brothers came to the rescue and put their arms around my shoulder andbwere like okay lets get you home leaving them behind. We walked in complete silence. Which is rare for us. And when we got to my house they reminded me there is a party tonight dont forget to come.
for all the times we have hung out she was never there at the clubs or parties. Nor was she ever mentioned. never... like how?

After facebook stalking i found a picture of her untagged but it was her and him in a selfie. From over a year ago. Thats it just one photo. And nothing recent.

And from the vibes i got from the other guys was that they dont even like her either.. they didn't greet her when she came.

But when they see me its all smiles high fives and slaps on the back. And occasionally a tossel of the hair.
so i hung out with them again last night. and when we were all just chilling on the couch the subject of his girlfriend came up. im guessing because the cat was out of the bag already nothing to hide now. they wefe highschool sweethearts. and now they have been dating 8 YEARS. but the flame died long ago. it seems he plans to break up with her. he even let me read their texts. they only texted once in the past week. and it was just 'hey. how are you. im fine. you? okay.' and that was it


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What Girls Said 3

  • You kinda just have to deal with it.. The brother syndrome isn't something that will go away..

    • i updated above. but also i dont mind the bigbrothers i like them. and the guy i like. he does not treat me like a little sister. there is obvious intrest. we are all pretty comfortable touching eachother in a non sexual way. we do it all the time. but when we were at the club yesterday. you know with the guy you like you always talk to him. even if its something stupid. so usually friends will just put a hand on the shoulder and cup the other around the ear. but he took it one more step last night wher ehe came in to talk with me he stepped his body flesh against mine. and had his hand on the small of my back. that is out of friend zone in my opinion.

      also im hanging out with them today. we are taking a road trip to the beach and we will go wave boarding together.

  • Yeah that sucks really bad I would either tell him now how you feel or completely back off for your own good

    • i updated some bits up above... i. also think everyone knows how i feel. and everyone knows he likes me too. he kinda made a small move. on me last night. usually we stick to non sexual touching but last night he took it one step more. he came over to talk with me like any normal time. but he stepped his body up. flesh against mine. and had his hand on the small of my back. he did it just once. but it was definitly different from how he did it before. also im going on a road trip with them today.. to the beach YAY. im so excited

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    • Wow you sure do have some serious crush on him. The fact though that he hasn't mentioned his girlfriend from the beginning is a very bad sign and usually red flag all over that's why I said be very careful maybe he's just looking for a side chick and what happened if you guys are together for sometime and he does the same shit to you what he's currently doing with his girlfriend. Cuz he obviously already somewhat cheating with you.

    • thing is Im a foreigner in this country. And it is very hard to find people who want to be your friend. I've been here two years and this is the first group of people who spend effort. There is culture and language barrier between us. But i studied the language at home for two years. So i understand what they say. But because i never had anyone to talk to i can't respond. And before people would just then not want to be my friend anymore even though im trying. But with these guys they encourage me to speak more difficult sentences. And they give suggestions on more native way of saying things. And honestly i dont care if he and i start dating or not. I just like that i get to hang out and speak the language and have real fun with natives. I hate the look of foreigners only being friends with foreigners.
      I won't kiss him or have sex with him until he breaks up with his girlfriend. And if he does the same to me down the road so be it. In a way im using them too. But we had fun in the meantime

  • Like I'm about to write a book about this lmao okay I don't know what to say I just don't understand why "big brothers" didn't even say anything. Maybe he's planing on breaking up with her?