What advice should I give my friend with the guy she is seeing? Is he using her or is he genuine?

2 years ago she and this guy dated for a year. She's now 21, he's 25. He broke up with her. It was obvious she cared for him way more than he did for her. She initiated 70% of the time.

Now, 2 years later, they live closer together and have been seeing each other again. She has asked him quite a few times now to be exclusive and that she wants to be his girlfriend, but each time he says we'll talk about it later, I am not ready for that, not right now, or he ignores her. They meet up, hang in his room, and have sex a few times a week, once again, initiated by her most of the time. She'll send him a dirty pic or just call him and invite herself over. This last week he asked her if she wanted to go out for a walk at this park and have breakfast, so that shows interest, yes? He also gets jealous if she talks to other guys, yet he doesn't want to settle down with her. They also go out to bars together sometimes. He is also still active on tinder.

What advice can I give her? I feel like I'm not helping bc I don't like the guy and I don't think she should continue seeing him, but maybe he just is unsure about what he wants?
Is he just using her to fill the time or is he just taking things slow?

i told her that he desires her but he is not in love with her. She's completely head over heels for the guy, and I don't know what to tell her anymore.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he is a womanizer. He doesn't sound like a husband / father merital. Often women go down these paths when choosing a mate. But forget there choices will inpack their future forever until they die. She will be like the rest of not all women around this age and she will not have a happy ending like she thinks she will if she stays, just my opinion.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl... I'm in the same situation unfortunately. My friend is in NEARLY the same thing, and I genuinely dont like her boyfriend coz he already proved that he's unfaithful, they broke up, BUT he managed to play with her head and they ended up getting back together.
    The bf's of our friends seem womanizers. And our friends seem to love them so damn much, to the blinded point.
    I tried to talk with my friend, I warned her more than once, but she never listens... I came to realize that we won't be able to stop them... They will keep on doing the exact same thing until their hearts get broken all over again, and its sad.
    the best thing u can do is warn her every once in a while, but don't have high hopes for her to dump him.

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    • I use to be a girl like that with my ex. My friends kept warning me back and fourth not to go back. But I was so blinded that I cut off some of my friends for him. It took a year after he broke up with me to try to move on and I'm still struggling. You will struggle with that friend till the point you I'll get fed up with it and not want to be around her drama and negative energy.

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    • She will be very hurt. All you can do is pray for her. Pray that she's cover with the blood of jesus and Sagan will no longer have a big toll on her. Right now she's weak

    • @Bless_one21 I'm sorry to hear that! You will find a better guy, dont be negative:))

      and just like the @Asker said.. I can't leave my friend coz I got "fed up" coz of the drama.. I can't just stay still watching her being played with all over again 😞 thats why I pray for her and I honestly hope that relationship doesn't last so long.

      and @Asker I hope your friend "wakes up" soon and realizes that she might be making a big mistake! Good luck!

What Guys Said 2

  • tell your friend to stop listening her female instinct of going for assholes

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  • Tell her to leave him. Simple

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What Girls Said 1

  • The same thing happen to me with this guy I was dating. He completely mind fucking her. He dragging her along making it seems like he will one day settle with her but he doesn't want to be in relationship with her. He is completely using her for the time being😔. I'm pretty sure if another girl caught his eye he would of pursue a relationship with her. Sorry dude he look at your friend like a piece of ass. That he can have anytime and the whole get jealous if she talks to other guys. He trying to control her

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    • Agreed 100%

    • She needs to get out of that situation as soon as possible or she will be completely heartbroken when he decide to pursue somethings eles. It will be hard for her to get over him if she stays and entertain this clown

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