Ok so yesterday I went on the first date since my ex, and this guy was in the same boat. I met him on a dating site and want to make sure he doesn't just want one thing! So he came to pick me up it was around a 1 and half hour drive for him. He gave me a bunch of flowers and opened the car door for me. When we got there and got out he immediately held my hand (this is the firat time we'd ever met). We walked around for a bit to find the restaurant and I mentioned another which sounded posh (not to go in or anything, just cause the name was so swish) and he said we could go there for a second date... we hadn't had the first one yet! We got to the restaurant had our food and drinks, the conversation flowed nicely although I could tell he was nervous as hell. He payed for the meal and I offered to pay half as I think the woman should really pay for herself but he insisted on paying. We walked back to the car and drove around the area for a bit. Then he drove me home, he asked if he would get a good nights kiss so I gave him one but he wanted a bit more so we ended up making out and he didn't wanna let me go haha! He did of course. He then asked for a second date for tomorrow! We only met yesterday! He's 31 and I'm 22, he lives at home currently as he's saving up for a deposit. The kiss felt right but I didn't feel a strong attraction towards him! He was mentioning things we could do together before we even met up. He seems sweet, kept asking me if I was ok and even brought his jacket for me in case I got cold. I dunno if he's just really overly nice or if somethings a bit adrift... He seems to be putting both feet in already. Advice please? :/
Most Helpful Guy
He really wants to make it work, but he's just nervous and overexcited. He probably just thinks you're really pretty and doesn't want to mess it up, but he's being too nice because of that and sort of messing it up before it even begins.
This is just a guy that doesn't know much about the dating world (most people coming out of LTR's don't). I think he's genuine and just really likes you.2
Most Helpful Girl
I find guys on dating sites are either just after sex or just really desperate to find someone (anyone) that they just assume the first meeting is the start of the rest of their life. They are presumably very lonely and therefore jump in very quickly. No doubt he was probably trying to do all the right things to make an impression, a lot of people do, and it is not a bad thing. Just be aware it is the "wooing" stage and is not likely to continue eternally. That does not mean he is a bad guy, he could be a genuine and nice guy. But you sound like you ceel you want to get to know him and feel the pressure because he is talking future plans, etc.
If he asks you to do things that you aren't ready for just tell him that he seems like a nice guy but its moving too fast and you need more time to get to know him.
If you feel something is a miss, trust your gut feeling, but work out exactly what you are feeling - do you feel like he is not being himself and hiding something, are you not into him but feel guilty that he seems so into you and you have no logical reason for not liking him, or have you not made up your mind but still want to see him. Note that your head can analyse this guy and give yourself reasons why he is a good guy (eg good job, goals, takes care of me) but you also have to feel attracted within your heart (that warmth in your heart you feel when you see him smile or when he says something that makes you feel he gets you). I find some guys for me are an immediate "no", some an immediate "yes" and some are a "maybe"... the maybe guys deserve a deeper look into.2