Should I tell my girlfriend I nearly cheated on her?

im in a long distance relationship with a girl who I am HEAD OVER HEELS in love with. I can't stress enough how crazy I am about this girl. But I havnt seen her in 6 months, and she took this new job so I dont even get to talk to her as much and I've been finding that very difficult.

So I'm at this party, and get chatting to a girl who I find very very attractive. We click and there's a bit of flirting happening. I tried to avoid her and talk to other people but she was sortof following me I guess. It must've been obvious I was into her because her friend picked up on it and asked me about it. Anyway we end up by ourselves and (a little drunk) without thinking I lightly put my arms round her and she goes to kiss me. I realise what's happening thankfully and pull away. I apologise and say I have a girlfriend. Awkward.

Hungover today and I feel terrible :( I love my girlfriend and would never mean to cheat on her but im so lonely without her and fighting temptation is increasingly difficult. Am I being too hard on myself or am I a douchebag? Should I tell her or would that just upset her and strain the relationship pointlessly? Advice please.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think since you did not cheat, even being really drunk you stopped yourself from crossing the line, so you did nothing wrong. Flirting a little is okay if it is harmless, and the girl started following you around, you weren't following her. In the end you did not cross the line. Telling your girlfriend will only make her worry and maybe not trust you although you did nothing with the girl. But, you need to figure out your relationship because it is obviously not working for you right now. Tell your girlfriend you need her to set aside a certain amount of time for you and at least call you or something every day after work, she should always make time to talk. I would worry about that first and figure that out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope.

    Hurting your girlfriend to assuage your own guilt is a dick move. Learn from your mistake, don't put yourself in that kind of situation again.

    Besides, you stopped yourself. Good on you for that.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Long distance relationships are always tough (as will admit any of the people I know who've experienced it). Cheating often happens, which would be my main argument not to do it.
    Which doesn't exactly help your case. Talking to her about it is something I would advise. It won't be comfortable, but it will be honest, first of all, and it will also help you communicate the fact that you miss her, and miss your previous relationship.
    This is something you are both going to have to figure how to deal with if you intend to make it through together.

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  • If you told her it would be only to make yourself feel better, so no need. Keep this to yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. If anything you did good for pulling away when most people would find it hardest to stop.

    You did screw up for staying alone with her while a little drunk, but that doesn't warrant a confession and upsetting your girl, who would definitely read into this.

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  • I don't think you should tell her that if it didn't actually happen so admitting that seems like calling for trouble tbh but if you're afraid it might happen again or you would actually cheat on her you guys should definitely have a talk and maybe consider breaking up.
    Always break up before you become a cheating asshole.

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  • Nearly cheated on her? Another reason I don't want a bf!

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  • You're not a douchebag. First of all, you didn't do anything wrong. Second of all, you're too young to navigate an LDR. (Hint. EVERYBODY ON EARTH is too young to navigate an LDR)

    I married my LDR. So i can tell you right now staying with an LDR is serious. Because eventually, one of you will have to give everything up to be with the other one. We were rich assholes with the means to fly to each other every couple of weeks. And even I fielded temptation on a regular basis.

    Please don't be hard on yourself, ok? What you have entered into is REALLY REALLY DIFFICULT and you're a standup guy for doing all you can to make it work. She's a lucky girl.

    I really hope things work out for you. Whatever that looks like.

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  • honestly... why are u doing this to yourself?
    People dont understand that love alone is not enough...
    instead of enjoying life and your youth, you are stuck in a ldr?

    well, are u planning on move together soon? A ldr without concrete future plans is a waste of time... sorry

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  • You don't have to tell her since nothing really happened. Telling her will make things worse. Just learn from what happened, so it doesn't happen again! :)

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  • I think you should.

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  • Any kind of cheating clearly shows you do not love the person you say you love as much as you say, because if you love someone, truly love them nothing or no one will ever get in the way of that all eyes will be fixed firmly on the one you love, maybe it's time to look at if this relationship is what you truly want or working for you, by the way you can't nearly cheat, you either did or you didn't.

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  • Well you pretty much already cheated, you flirted with the girl. How about talking to your girlfriend about your issues instead of talking (and flirting) with girls you're interested in and attracted to.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No. Everybody knows "almost doesn't count".

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