Is casual sex for everyone?

Okay so i'm not at all ready for a relationship at this point, I've only slept with one guy who was my boyfriend for a year. I'm pretty much one of those girls who has to be in a relationship in order to do anything sexual. But as i said i'm really not ready for one at this point but i still want to have sex. I don't wanna be the girl who has a fuck buddy then catches feelings and ruins the flow of things, or to have a guy " hit and quit " and to feel like shit. How does one know if casual sex is for them? Is it for you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I learned the hard way hahahah. It was terrible (for me!). Like you, I had only had sex with one guy who was my boyfriend prior to my new experience. I went on tinder, matched with many guys before I selected this college track star, super good looking.. And we made plans to "hang out" of which I knew before going in I was going to try my one night stand.

    So I went, we had much better sex than my ex and I had. I remember it was on New Years and I sped home afterwards feeling such a great high, laughing saying I will never see his face again but that was a great time! And I had meant it! However... For some reason, a couple nights later we met and had sex again. And again. After the 3rd time we had sex a week later, I got hooked. I became so attached to him and I never expected it. I never saw it coming or tried to. What's strange is that I'm kinda an introverted loner, artsy person and he just was this (kinda stupid) athlete who partied. I remember after having sex with him the first time, I'll never forget, I looked over at him as he was talking and I thought, ugh shut up, I hate you (bc he was so great in bed but he was shallow and like a little kid. Our conversations went no where. Which is why I know my feelings must have been purely sexual).

    Anyways, it lasted a few months.. Cat and mouse. He kept me hooked by saying certain things, filling me up and hurting me more each time. he knew I was attached and used it for himself. I got my feelings very hurt.. like he'd be out of town banging someone else. I felt gross the last time we had sex, and literally overnight I "woke up" and wanted nothing to do with him again. Haven't spoke to him since. I learned a lot about myself and what I want and don't want, or can and cannot handle, and I am glad of the experience, even if I was an emotional wreck for a couple months.

    If you try it, I recommend one nighters. I don't think you can get attached with one nighters (as long as you don't make it to 2!)

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What Guys Said 14

  • You already know you're not ready for casual sex. You can try once, but if you're gonna feel like shit, then better not do it, that's the sign that tells you casual sex isn't for you.

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  • It is for some, not for others. You just gotta go based on how you feel, at the end of the day you can't know 100% either way until you try it.

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  • Definitely not for me lol

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  • Nope definitely not, I'm not really into just having sex with a girl then thats it, see you never again lol. Just not me, I would rather be in a relationship to be honest

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  • If it doesn't feel right, its not right

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  • If you're having doubts it probably isn't.

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  • Nope.. But it's good

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  • No, not everyone and not for you, either.

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  • Interesting that I generally see this question asked by women.

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  • you have to try to know who you are and what kind of guy you need

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  • It is!

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  • It is not for me. I think it's just something you know.

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  • no. nor should it be.

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  • All you can do is try it and see how it goes. It's not for me but. But My girlfriend is into Casual Sex and think it's no big deal

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What Girls Said 23

  • No, some people have too much self-respect and dignity to casually be giving their body to any random person/potential asshole for a quick orgasm.

    Casual sex is certainly not for me. I would rather live a sexless life than share my body with a man who only wants to treat me like a blowup doll with a heartbeat. I don’t find anything appealing about swapping genital germs and oral germs with random guys and not having detailed information about their sexual health records. A man who’s just f*cking you typically will have entitlement when it comes to his privacy and won’t feel obligated to share if he’s had an STD or been involved with someone who’s had an STD because he feels it’s “his business” and not yours. If you’re messing around with someone who consistently partakes in casual sex, then you’re increasing your chances of catching an STD because they frequently lack discipline and give into moments of weakness where they may expose themselves to someone who has an STD and not even know it. Personally, I have zero interest in becoming so consumed by my sexuality that it controls my logic and turns sex into a pure, animalistic function where I literately act like a lion from The Discovery Channel just prowling to f*ck and be f*cked.

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    • Yeah i kind of feel like this is me and i'd wind out punking out anyway, like now i'm talking to a guy who clearly only wants sex and i'm just not really feeling it i want to sleep with a guy who at least respects me and cares for me.

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    • God forbid you die in a week, how much time, thought, energy, and effort would you have put in towards being someone’s sexual placeholder? :/

  • A pretty high percentage of participants in casual sex end up hurt, feeling used, and heartbroken. It's usually the girls who find this an unfullfilling lifestyle.

    I am not wired to put my feelings aside. I think it is actually disgusting to just have sex with no commitment. My sex drive does not control me and I am quite capable of keeping it in check.

    That said, there are girls who are fine with it; so live and let live. Just not my thing, and from reading the neverending "I caught feelings" posts on here I don't think it's a good choice for many people at all.

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  • It's not for everyone, but you just have to think it over and decide what you think is best for you. Sometimes you'll only know if you give it a shot.

    Just try not to pick any jerks. If you have it with a guy who isn't judgmental about it, there's mutual respect, and you don't go in with expectations of more, it should be fine.

    Is it for me? Not really. I can have it, but it's not my preference.

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  • I know how you feel. It sounds like you're a private person and you need to feel comfortable with a person before you take it to that level. Am I correct? If I am, I think you already have your answer. I haven't been with many people. Last year, I decided to try the casual thing... and honestly, I think that the fantasy is better than the reality. I met a guy and we had a good connection; after spending a bit of time together, we had sex. We met up a few times and I started to develop feelings for him. He disappeared. That was painful. Not the worst pain I've felt, but still, it was fucking shitty. He contacted me several months later and I never replied to his message. Not worth my time. Through that experience, I confirmed what I already knew; casual sex isn't for me. If it's meaningless, what's the point? I'm not meaning to put a negative spin on it :) just my experience. Best to go with your gut feeling! Don't ignore it.

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    • Yeah you're right , i'd probably honestly feel like shit afterwards and that'll suck i'll wait until a real relationship develops it will be more special that way, Thanks !

    • You're welcome ^___^

  • It's absolutely NOT for everyone. Some people can handle it, others can't. If you feel like you'll mostly/only be comfortable with sex in an actual relationship, chances are it's not for you. Since you'd most likely pick someone you, at least on some subconscious level, see as boyfriend material (due to wanting sex in a serious relationship). So it's very likely that you would catch feelings.

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  • obviously not and if it feels right it's for you. I dunno if it is right for me. Last time I was single I was too young for casual sex

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  • honestly I don't think casual sex is for anyone, some people just do it because they're either bored or lonely or to fill some sort of void in their lives. it's good that you're not able to have casual sex, because you respect yourself. relationships are better than casual sex in my opinion.

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  • I wish it was for me but sadly it's not. I'll have to wait until I find a man that I truly like again in order to have sex and unfortunately that may be awhile. Sigh...

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    • Lol that's how i feel and it's been like over a year already so i'm like :/

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    • I personally don't want to deal with the drama that comes with it, or have the patience to deal with someones emotions and feelings 24/7 worrying about what i say or do that may effect them, It's just to much lol

    • Yep! Being totally single does have its advantages too. I love only being responsible for myself. Thank god I am self sufficient also!

  • It's not for me AT ALL tbh

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  • I don't agree with casual sex being for everyone. You have some who want to wait till marriage and those (like you said before and defines me as a person) to only have sexual relations with someone I'm in a relationship with.

    Casual sex is casual sex. You need to understand that is just purely sex and nothing more. If you're capable of catching emotions with someone you have casual sex then no it's not for you.

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  • I've done it before and it worked out fine. But it's not for everybody.

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  • It's not for everyone. Some people don't have the personality for it. I know I don't. You can always try it and see if it's for you. Nothing ventured, etc.

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  • Don't worry if you don't want have casual sex than don't do it.

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  • No it is not for every one! I tried it like just a few weeks ago. Thinking it would be all cool even though I'm also the kind of girl who has to be in a relationship to do it.
    Well guess what, it blew up in my face. And I broke the friendship off as well. It's not for everyone.

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  • Is casual sex for everyone? Honestly , it isn't for everyone. I am not ready to deal with a relationship and I have tried but it's not for me. But now that I come to realize , it's me. It depends who you are. I don't like being in a relationship because I get hurt. Casual Is simple and everyone is happy. I do consider stds but I usually do it with the same person , try to keep my circle small. I don't like doing fuck buddy either , don't like that. So it depends on what you think and if you do it , you don't have any feelings or develop feelings.

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  • From what you're saying, it doesn't seem like you're ready for casual sex. It seems like you need an emotional connection to have sex with someone and that's what's lacking from casual sexual relationships.

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  • Your not for it. You already said that. You catch feelings. You are not an ice queen with a cold heart.

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  • No, it's not for everyone.

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  • I'm a virgin. I don't want to have sex , for one, because I'm a genophobic and two because guys my age hit it and quit it. I can't just sleep with someone and not catch feelings. Most girls can't do that and I'm no exception

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  • I would NEVER do it... i don't wanna feel like cheap shit afterwards

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  • Nope definitely not. I didn't like casual hook ups

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  • It's not for me. I just know it. I know myself. I don't... desire sexual relations if I do not feel safe, secure and loved and I can only feel that way when I am in a serious relationship.

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  • No, it's not for me.

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