I'm about to graduate and she is scared, What can/should I do?

I'm a senior and she is a sophomore in High School and I'm about to graduate and go to college. We've been talking for about 3 weeks now and thinking about dating. I really care about her and she said she likes me and enjoys hanging out with me. She now is really scared that she will be a burden on me and holding me back, that I would just leave her behind, and the future is so uncertain. She said that she couldn't shake that feeling and don't know if she could be in a relationship with me. She said "I don't want to build up something I don't feel entirely right about". I've asked a mutual friend about what she has said to him and he said "she is scared to fall for you and that she would hold you back". I've tried reassuring her and she said that's not enough to change her mind. She told me this Thursday and didn't contact her until last night wishing to talk sometime. What can/should I do?

P. S. The college i'm attending is 45 min. to an hour away


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend and I just broke up because he was scared of the same thing. He's a junior and I'm a senior. My college is only 45-60 minutes away as well. He couldn't shake the feeling either and the truth is, neither could I. I don't know what the future holds in store for me and I don't know who I'll meet.

    You may not want to think you are, but you're pressuring her into a relationship. Let her go. She's in HS. She may care for you, but she has already said no. Leave it at that.

    It's hard not knowing what could have been, but at the same time, you are going to meet so many people at college. You can't truly reassure her that you won't find someone else or that she won't hold you back. She's a sophomore. Not only are you going off to college, but she's staying in HS. She is going to be surrounded by other boys as well and there's a likelihood that she will be the one to fall for someone else that isn't you.
    You're close to graduation. You've only been talking less than a month. Maybe if you guys decided on a summer fling it might be okay, but to go the full distance is just too much.

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What Girls Said 1

  • She sounds VERY scared. She is tearing herself apart from the inside about all of this. I know the feeling. I am moving schools and I am leaving my best friend. It's really hard. The best thing to do is to always be there for her, and when you get to college, don't just text her or call her, send her hand written letters to make her feel loved. (I know that you love her. I'm not saying that you don't.) She may not feel very loved at the moment. But, don't make a HUGE deal out of her emotions.

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    • What do you mean when you say don't make a big deal out of her emotions?

What Guys Said 1

  • She's scared she will lose you. The school you're going to is not THAT far away. Heck, make it a point to go home occasionally and see her. The ball is entirely in your court right now as she's giving you ample opportunity to walk away from the relationship so, in my opinion, don't walk away from it.

    Keep in touch with her, see her often, and she will realize she's got someone who gives a damn about her no matter the distance, real or perceived.

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