Guys: if you were in a hotel room alone with a girl and she's sitting on the bed, what do you do?

I actually experienced this. First time meeting a guy, we just finished eating and we head up to my hotel room. We talked and he went on his laptop to listen to music. I took off my boots because they were uncomfortable and I sat on the bed. He just stares at me. I said what? He says nothing and turns around in his chair. Then, when I walked away to my bag to get other shoes, I turned and he was staring again. Then we looked out the window to see the sky and I asked what he's looking at: he said he was looking at me for a second but then some else. But he didn't intiate or do anything. Made it seem like I was undesirable. What would you do in that situation?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't feel this way, I say this because it is the first time meeting the guy, and if he made a move, then it might seem he was thinking you were easy or he was trying to take advantage of you. It's all about context. I was in a similar situation when I was in the Army, in the sense that I was in training and we had weekend leave, so a bunch of us ended up going out on the town and as it happened I ended up with two female soldiers and we shared a room, now one went off and the other stayed with me, and while I did feel "something" could have happened, I didn't make any moves on her because I wasn't sure that was something she wanted to have happen and I'm not the kind of guy to force myself on anybody. So yes we shared a room and yes we slept together on separate beds and again yes nothing happened, but not because I wasn't interested, but because I wanted to respect her and I didn't want there to be any trouble. So while I can't speak for him, it may be he was feeling something similar to my own situation.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He shouldn't try anything. Just because there's a bed and a guy and girl, doesn't mean anything had to happen

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What Guys Said 16

  • in my opinion, it sounds like he wanted to have sex with you, but he was nervous and lacked confidence and wasn't sure what you wanted (though he'd have to be an idiot not to realize that you brought him back to your hotel room to "hang out"). I promise you, it had nothing to do with you not being desirable, and everything to do with his lack of confidence (and experience?) and him needing CLEAR, OVERT communication from you about what you wanted.

    Either that, or he was just an idiot and/or asexual. But most likely, he just lacked confidence.

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  • No your understanding is flawed. He did notice you and he is attracted to you and at that moment did want to take you but when you asked what he became self conscious and didn't make a move because he over thought the situation. It's a common mistake both women and men alike make. If you had told him to sit next to you he probably would have not been so self conscious, but that didn't happen. It's not your nor his fault things like this hadron time to time. When you asked him later he probably though he would sound creepy if he just said he was looking at you so he from the topic. As for me I'm experienced enough to see it as the sign of wanting so I would have gone over. So do you still talk with him?

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    • Well I said what in a kinda silly tone and smiling. So I don't think I could've scared him off. I don't tak to him anymore and we never had sex. We were alone twice in confined places. In a hotel and he brought me to his home. He didn't intiate not even once.

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    • He already expressed he didn't like me in that way and didn't want to hurt my feelings when I confronted him asking why did he say he liked me. I was just curious about this situation was all.

    • I see well at least you have an answer I'm sorry things with him didn't work out, but there will be other men. Know that this wasn't your fault it really was on him and you did nothing to put him off. But sometimes even with everything right things still don't work out. Have faith in yourself and know you are still growing mentality ad sexually as we all do and there will be times that things like this happen but with understanding and patience at least you will be able to move forward stronger and wiser than before. Good luck dear and have faith on yourself I'm sure the next man will be better just have patience. I wish you luck and good fortune in what ever is to come and whom ever is to come in your life next.

  • Some days that guy could have been me.
    Not all guys will jump or rape a girl right away when they get the possibility.
    Some will wait for the girl's explicit or clear authorization or just want to know her some time before having sex.

    Or maybe he just remembered he had no condom in this wallet?

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  • Well if just a "girl", poke her elbow and show her some funny youtube vids. But by sound of it, sounded like you wanted more? Which in either case, if me, I wouldn't make the first move really sort of, would have to get some pretty clear/good signals if a girl wanted something more.

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  • Tell her to get the fuck off my bed. Sloots omg, this man needs his beauty rest

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  • i think that guy was staring at you like that because he was hoping for some sex, but anyways if im in a situation like that i would talk to her and be friends with her. or ask her what she likes to do with me? to play any video games or to go out for something

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  • I doubt it was because you were "undesirable". He was probably waiting for you to give him permission (which you never did).

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    • How does one give permission? I sat on the bed... Then I went to sit closer to him after that as well but he was doing his whole thing. I think he had a girlfriend to be honest.

  • I would come lie on the bed next close enough to touch you, turn on the tv and start flirting. Then I would initiate touch and go from there. This guy just lacked the balls to go for it.

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  • Maybe he was too nervous and was afraid you'd be rejecting him. Maybe it was you who made him feel undesirable.

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  • @MrOracle May have some of it, but another part of it could be he wasn't sure if that's what you wanted.

    If a chick invited me to her room, I would be concerned about possible rape charges.

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  • http://i.imgur.com/DH4dGTG.gif

    Seriously though, if she's in my hotel room, I'm making a move.

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  • Probably was nervous. I'd be nervous too. Why is that so taboo for a man to feel?

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  • Iv mist a few of these opportunities over the years, if he knew what you were thinking he would be kicking himself!

    Don't be afraid to make the move, some guys just can't see the signs.

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  • Depends on the girl. Is she a friend? Is she a relative? Is she an enemy? Is she someone I'm attracted to? Honestly, there's no one way I'd act in this situation that goes for all girls...

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    • This is a girl you met on a dating site and you guys met up to hang out. I don't know, would you still advance on the girl?

  • I can usually take a hint but I always let the woman initiate the first time. Just the way things are nowadays. She's going to have to make it unequivocally plain she wants sex.

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    • Yeah this is where shit is headed. Kinda sad, but way better than prison.

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    • Yeah, a natural and sweet approach is something I need. :(

    • A certain kind of guy probably prefers a shy girl. I don't mind but it's not going to go anywhere unless she makes her desire plainly known. I wouldn't use me as an example of a typical guy. I'm an unusual combination of characteristics.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Dont expect the guy to always initiate. You can too.

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  • Did you wanna bang?

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    • I did. I was ready. I met up with him because I was obviously attracted to him, but nothing.

  • He probably wanted to kiss you but he just didn't know if you would feel the same way, so he was too nervous to make a move

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  • lol, why do you want to... at first meeting? But even if you wanted to, it's your choice. However, I don't think it was that you were undesirable, it's mainly that he wasn't sure what you wanted. Or he lacked confidence...

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  • He wanted you but maybe he was afraid of misreading the signs

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