So five days ago my boyfriend broke up with me, it was quite a weird break up and unexpected. He said it had nothing to do with me and that he was stressed about work and had a lot of work on his plate and a lot of money problems (which I know to be true) and that he was feeling like he just didn't even want to get up in the mornings. I had noticed he had been a bit stressed but i never realized it was as bad as that he didn't even want to get out of bed. He told me he still cares for me and that he wants to stay in touch. I kept asking him to just tell me that if he had fallen out of love with me or he didn't care about me then to just tell me so I could move on but he wouldn't say it, i believe that's because he does still love me. We stopped speaking for a couple days then two days later he started to snapchat me and he looked really upset in all his pictures. I asked him if was too soon to meet up and do something as friends, but he was really enthusiastic about it. I asked him what he wanted to to and he said he's happy to do anything I want so we've agreed to go out and have a long walk along the beach this Saturday. Back to snapchat he messaged me last night and was quite flirty with me and started to call me baby again which he hasn't called me in a while. Do you think there's a chance we could get back together? We are very sexually attracted to each other and had a very intimate relationship I just don't want to see him and mess things up, I haven't seen him since we split so I can imagine its going to very hard for me to not be close to him or even kiss him but I also have a feeling that its going to be a very emotional time for both of us and i think we might end up together on Saturday. Please any opinions are welcome, I just don't want to get my hopes up.
Does he want me back?
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What Girls Said 1
maybe... hard to say.
the most important thing is to not let yourself have sex with him (even if you believe he's not "that kinda guy"). That is a huuuuuge no go. If you do, there is a big big chance he will be happy with this "just friends" arrangements and your chances of getting back into a relationship are basically cero.
From experience, the explanation "I have a lot on my plate right now" is usually a lame excuse to end a relationship you just don't see going anywhere long term. you want to let the person off easy, because most of the time you do really have some feelings or genuinely like them.
BUT, and this is where you have to be absolutely clear: in a commited relationship, you get through tough times together. you do not just simply drop your SO because of some "stress". If anything, a good relationship sometimes is the only thing getting you through it and keeping you sane. It is impossible to be with someone long term and hope he never is stressed out again (because he'll drop you again)
it just makes no sense.
- his money problems have nothing to do with you. unless you expect him to pay for shit. if that is the case, start paying your share.
- his stress at work has nothing to do with you. Unless you don't give him space to relax alone once in a while.
- his depression has nothing to do with you but you cannot accept that he focuses his frustration on you (the relationghip) he needs to find a way of taking weight off his shoulders. Even if that means maybe changing jobs. We don't want him to have a burnout so young.
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