I recently saw a post about how this girl lost interest in Asian men because of one instance where she went to a restaurant with one and he didn't offer to pay for her or her sister. So I'm just wondering how common this mindset is among women, and for guys whether or not you would be willing to date a girl who thought like this?
I'm a girl and I think a man should pay to be a gentleman.
27% (91)3% (10)16% (101)Vote
I'm a girl and I DON'T think the man should pay to be a gentleman.
70% (238)2% (6)38% (244)Vote
I'm a guy and I agree a man should pay to be considered a gentleman.
1% (3)23% (69)11% (72)Vote
I'm a guy and I DON'T agree a man should pay to be considered a gentleman.
She's a cunt and that's pathetic of her to say all Asian dudes are shitty and cheap just because 1 dude wouldn't pay for her. Honestly she's not worth buying anything for.
No smart gentlemen would pay if he doesn't have the money and I doubt she ever thought to consider that. Plus I don't see why he would even bother for her sister to be there. Over all that chick is just a full on pathetic cunt.
I'm gonna be pretty blunt here. When it comes to the topic of whether or not a guy should pay for a girls meal, many women are self centered bitches. Paying for someone's meal isn't nice unless they can't afford it, it's using money to buy someone. Nice is helping someone who could use help. Buying someone is paying for someone so that they will look upon you with favor, usually for the benefit of the person paying. What is the guy buying with his money in this case? He is making her feel like she's being provided for (which is a foolishly 2 dimensional delusion) as leverage to get romantic intimacy and/or sex. Alternatively, buying a girl a drink is spending money to make her feel happier and hornier and thus more likely to open her legs for him. Both are manipulation plain and simple, it baffles me that people not only consider these behaviors socially acceptable but they actually see manipulating people and being manipulated as a *favorable* means to an end in these circumstances. It is absolutely absurd that people do not see this for what it is, it's like people lack critical thinking skills. It would be nice if we could cut it out with this shit. Surely I can't be the only one who would rather have a relationship with someone on the basis that we like each other and make each other happy, as opposed to having to jump through hoops and buy the opportunity to date her and get to that point.
That's a ridiculous mindset. For one, it's silly to start hating a whole race solely because of the actions of one of it's members. Also... does this chick realize that the reason that this tradition (of men paying for their s/o's meals) came to be is that women were once not even allowed to have an income of their own by law? That if women want to continue fighting for equality and be looked at as equals by men, we're going to have to start pulling our own weight and not continuing to reap the benefits of getting men to be sole breadwinners and doing the dirty-work, yet not be viewed as inferior/dependent on them..
If I am asked out to dinner by a guy, I go knowing that I am able to pay for myself, but honestly have never dated a guy who let me pay. G@g is seriously the only place that I have ever seen men complain about this. I have paid for dates, plenty, but definitely not the first one. When me and my husband dates I even had to fight just to pay. All of the guys I dated had the "if I invited you, I am saying I want to take you out, and it's on me mentality", not that it's right or wrong, but I appreciate that a lot more than someone who asked me out and would expect me to pay for something they planned. But I'm kinda old school I guess.
Yea, he didn't have to pay since he was invited by her sister (if I understood well). If it was a date that he planned, I guess it'd be appropriate for him to pay for the meal. If it was me, I would have told him to pay for what he ate. I don't like being offered everything. Even though it is not the guy's attention whatsoever, it makes me feel like I'm assisted and unable to provide for myself but mostly because I feel like I owe them something and I am tied to them with the feeling of owing them money. I wouldn't get mad at a guy who tells me to pay my part of the bill. That's why I always carry my card with me when I get asked out.
I agree that a gentlemen would pay for her meal, but definitely not her sister's meal. But not necessary to pay... A traditional gentleman would, though. And he did, so... But he commented on how much he's going to pay - so that was not a gentleman move. Why ask her on a date if you're going to complain?
I don't think so... It really depends on where they are going. If I plan on going out for lunch with my sister and my guy friend tags along, I don't expect him to pay for me. That's a little snobby in my opinion. Him paying would have been nice, but it doesn't make him any less of a gentlemen. Holding doors open is something a gentlemen does. Letting me sit at the table before he sits is what a gentlemen does. Walking beside me instead of in front is something a gentlemen does.
Paying for my meal is a gentlemen quality, but him not paying for it doesn't make him less of one.
I agreed with all of it but the fact that "all Asians are cheap" lol wtf. That's a false generalization. I've been on a dat with an Asian before and he paid for everything. But besides that, the guy should have paid for her, and especially not complained about paying for his own meal like what the fuck... Common curtesy
I would say being a gentlemen is about his attitude and how he treats others, I would associate kindness, generosity, politeness and consideration with being a gentlemen, and not so much based on his specific actions, such as does he pull out the chair, or pay for the bill?
SECOND: Her sister invited Him not the other way around ( so why the hell He should pay? She invited Him She should pay if just one person have to pay LOL )
THIRD: what the hell was the sister doing there? Why didn't they bring all the family for the pour guy to pay? LOL
FOURTH: How stupid do You have to be to invite a guy with You & Your sister to go out and wait for Him to pay all the bill. I think someone wrong Him with a sugardaddy LOL XD Guess she's one of thoes girls that thinks guys are her pigg banks... and thoes types of girls have a name ---> GOLD DIGGER !!! :D
Although I agree that if a guy asks You out He should pay and it is a gentleman's move. I hate when a guy invites me somewhere and than I have to hear complains that everything is expensive ( PS. I do not go anywhere with a guy that I can't afford myself and I'm a normal person ). I just take my wallet with a "Don't worry I got the check" and than it is Goodbye Mr. penny-pincher.
When I was dating I went to every date with enough cash to pay for myself and some extra. But that's because I was raised to never depend on anyone, least of all for luxuries like going out. But, if my date offered to pay for me as well I would graciously accept it. I didn't expect to be taken care of by random men, but I deeply appreciated it when I was.
This is honestly so stupid. he was invited to go. he did not invite either of them to go. I'm not going out with your trashy ass if YOU invite ME to go with YOU, and then expect me to pay for you. That's idiotic. And classifying one race as cheap simply because one man didn't pay off their entire bill? This is just so insanely stupid.
I would certainly prefer if the guy offered to pay, since it shows he does care, but it's certainly not going to be a breaker for me. The only thing that would really piss me off is if he asked in the end for me to cover all of it because he can't afford it. That's just tacky no matter if it's a date or just a night out with friends.
Her mindset is definitely not right at all. Not all Asians are cheap. It's wrong of her to just generalize like that. And those two are not dating so he's not obligated to pay. When I hang out with guys they always pay for me even when I try to 'fight'. I never expect anyone to pay for me unless it's my parents or other family members I usually feel gusty even then lol. But one thing I will say is that I usually am impressed and find it charming when a guy insists on paying. I am seeing one guy now and he believes it's the man duty to pay for women no matter what he's old fashioned and so am I.
If a guy asks a girl out – he pays. If I ask a guy out – I pay. I just gave a very simplistic answer. It has nothing to do with being a gentleman or a lady. It has to do with common sense and civility. Bandit 74, I respect your questions and I see them come up quite often. I tried to give you the correct answer based on my experience and common sense. It appears you are at the beginning stages of dating. There are no rules but it's all common sense
That girl is just rude. whenever a guy asks me to hang out or on a date i never expect for him to pay, even though they always do, i at least offer to pay my share. if they don't the next time we go out i make sure im the one asking so that way i have the excuse to say "i invited you therefore i get to pay" it shouldn't be all about the guys paying, she probably just isn't independant so she needs someone else to take care of her. i myself feel pretty independent so i have no problem for mine or both when on a date or just hanging out.
Wth, lol. Her sister invited him and she wanted him to pay for both? Ugh. That's piss me off. My best friend moved and when his new chick friends and him went out to eat he'd pay for both of them and it just.. Pissed me off. He'd pay for his girlfriend's friends svgdvhfcjfd Anyways, no. Just no.
I am actually pretty mad about this. Why does a man have to pay to be a gentleman? And why does it make him "cheap" if he doesn't. Being a gentleman is about kindness and respect. Plus not everybody has a lot of money to waste. And why do we have to expect from a man to pay for us when he doesn't even know us. Ugh.
When dating I always expect to pay for the first date and I hate that expectation. It's why I only ever buy coffee now. It's beyond rare I take a women anywhere expensive because... well why should I? It's about getting to know the person. The romance is still there (walk along the see front for example) it's just always cheap in actual cost. I also get to finish the date quickly if it's not going well. Not being trapped in a three course meal with someone I don't like has it's advantages.
Outside of a date I wouldn't pay for a women just because she's a women. If I enjoyed myself and wanted to offer I would but I would for men as well. Women don't get special treatment on that front.
If I'm being honest I see two things wrong with this post.
1) The girl sounds a little racist. She branded all "Asian men" as the same because she felt entitled after her sister invited him out.
2) Not only did the sister invite him but there were three one the "date". At least that's the way I read it. Either it a double date and neither man offered or the three of them meaning "date" isn't the correct term and she's just sore she had to pay for herself? The second would be much worse.
if she considered it "... only $60+" she should have paid for him... Asian, indians, jews, and Arabs don't become rich by blowing their hard earned money on entitled idiots like her. Part that irks me the most is that she didn't even want him to tag along, but expected him to be a "gentleman" to her spoiled ass nonetheless... i would have stuck a middle finger in her face.
No, shit is made up by females. Tell me what do girls do to guys that benefit us men? ill give you my pay check for an entire year if anyone can answer that. I don't want hear sex either. Anyway. He did not eat all the food, why should he pay? He don't love his sister why should he pay? She's clearly one sided on what a gentleman is. And now she seem like she only like his for money.
1. Not a date if 3 people unless somehow he dating both of them which i doubt it 2. he was invited so generally the inviter pay, not the invitee. That why when a guy ask a girl out, he pay, because he invited her. 3. He a dumbass for saying " oh man this gonna hit my pocket" outloud. NEVER say it outloud. That is really rude and is basically complaining. 4. Plenty of girls with all kind of opinion and preferences. Just forget about her and move on. I don't see why it bother you so much that you need to make a topic over this. 5. If it were me I would pay and not said a single words. But I would cease all contact right after. I would definitely not pay for just one person while bitching about it. Either pay for everyone or not pay at all. 6. She is really closed-mind for lumping an entire race together because of one bad experiences.
I know a friend whose boyfriend who was Asian cheated on her, she was so hurt that she decide to never date Asian ever again. Do I disagree? Yes. But that is her choice. Her problems. There still plenty other guys just like there plenty of other girls to choose from. Worry not my Asian friends =)
A man should pay... if he is daring her and invited her out. If they are not dating, he has no obligation to pay for her unless he offered to. And if she wanted to go out, and invited him, he should not be expected to foot the bill.
But the general mindset that a guy pays on a date? I neither disagree nor find it offensive.
"only" $60+. Right, "only". A day's salary for some. Bitch, you think a hoe like you with that rotten mindset of yours is worth 8 hours of a guy's time? Cause that's how how long some people need to work to get that money. And that's in a relatively advanced country. Luckily, that's no longer a problem for me, but it used to be and I know what it's like to work all day for even less than that. What a spoiled little brat. Not only does she generalize an entire race based on ONE SINGLE encounter with what sounds like an American-Asian no less, she's also an entitled little shit. And on top of that her sister is the one who invited him, not the other way around and SHE didn't at least offer to pay for HIM when they both obviously knew the guy is tight on money? Well, they can both fuck off then. Even if she were a 10/10 goddess and begged me to date her, I wouldn't even look in her direction. What an entitled child.
Fuck that. That's the type of girls you hit it and quit it. They don't respect you, they think you're less than them, so you have to pay for them. I'm never dating a girl like that, if she's a gold digger, she can find someone else.
only $60? WTF That is almost 2 times dinning out for 2 people. 1) Whoever asks the person out should pay. He is not responsible to pay at all since they asked him. 2) he probably should have paid for himself. but he is certainly not responsible for paying for the sister.
I can't stand girls like this. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you're entitled to my wallet ESPECIALLY without a title.
You INVITED ME. Why am I also paying For YOU. I do the 50/50 system. One thing I learned about today young females, if you don't put your foot down from the Start, they will run you dry. Some guys feel this is OK cayse they might be getting sex
You're paying for sex now? I had girls still sleep with me after the 50/50 system.
Guys don't have to do that in order to be considered a gentleman. It's just icing on the cake. Just be courteous. Know where you're taking the girl beforehand and if you do decide to ask instead, just be decisive and pick the damn restaurant. Walk up to her door to pick her up. Say hello to family if she's living at home. Open the door for her and your bases are covered. That said, if you take her somewhere you don't expect to pay, without telling her where beforehand then pick somewhere affordable.
Honestly, maybe its someone thing a guy would want to do to impress a woman but its not something that should be considered the "right" thing to do to be considered a gentleman.
We live in an age where women have equal opportunities men do and are perfectly capable of paying for their own meals. Personally, I'm not going to try to insult a woman by treating her as if she is incapable of taking care of herself or paying for her own meals.
If I want the meal to be my treat then yes i'll pay but if its just a casual experience then there really is no reason to pay for every meal. That's just stupid and unfair toward the man.
Obviously that girl is outta her mind and thinks she's a princess or something. But its actually quite common. Not as rude as her but soooooo many girls expect it during dates.
Its nice for a guy to pay but not for all dates with every girl. Only with the girls he really likes and wants something serious with because in those situations you want too rather than feel obliged to. But women know this and thats why If he doesn't pay she'll think he's not that into her
Gentlemen do what women want, like a good little tool. It's chivalry when it benefits them
"Only $60?" Sorry, but anyone who can hit my wallet like that with no hesitation is a gold digger. I'm not dating some spoiled princess
This is also why men aren't going on dates if the woman invites him. They say "whoever invites has to pay," but come on. We all know that shit doesn't really happen. The moment the man doesn't pay, he's cheap, and it's gonna be used against him at some point.
thats just a case of another self entitled dumb ass who thinks its a Mans job to pay for everything when a guy pays for the food at a Date that means he is being nice if it was a friendly get to gather with more than just him an a girl dont expect him to pay for everything. sure 60$+ in reality isn't much but for food thats a bit expensive and especially if he is not wanted by one of the party members.