What should I do about my controlling boyfriend?

So I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. I love him to death and I'd do anything for him, well almost..
So lately he's been in this mood where he just wants to fight constantly or have sex.
He is trying to basically stop me from doing anything I like so I can be like him. He comments constantly on my choice of music, what I wear, what I play, what I do, etc. He calls me edgy, hates just about everything I like (given the exception of like anime and Overwatch). I will never be allowed to drink alcohol, do drugs (I wouldn't either way, so), or get a tattoo. I've not only wanted a tattoo for years now, but I actually created a design I wanted to do and have wanted to do it for over 5 years now. He gets mad at me for going off to play games for a few hours. Lately he's really upset because his best friend got a girlfriend (after 2 years being single) so his best friend has been "hoe-ing" him and hanging out with his new girlfriend instead of my guy. I've done nothing but offer to do things, comfort him, and all he wants to do is pick a fight with me on how my interests are too bland for him. He's asked me to give up all of my friends before, he's asked me to stop playing another game I used to have so much fun playing (League) because it affected my relationship. Out of respect I stopped playing League, and now he still complains about Overwatch YET he goes out and plays Yugioh on his days off when we normally hang out. I don't get upset for him choosing Yugioh over me, but I really wish he wouldn't get mad at me for wanting a few hours to myself to play. I really don't know what to do, but I'm not going to fight him for "his entertainment" and I quote. I usually just ignore him at this point which pisses him off more but I don't want to fight y'know? So what do you guys think.

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ADVICE SAYING "DUMP HIM". If that's all your response is then please don't respond. So what do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you already know the answer. though, the mere fact you stated'' I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ADVICE SAYING "DUMP HIM" tells me you know what you need to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am sorry to say this, but your boyfriend sounds like a little bitch. Instead of being happy for his friend about the fact that he found a person to be with, he keeps bitching and he demands to be his friend's priority. As for his behaviour towards you, it's controlling and he sort of acts like he owns you. He sounds completely insufferable.
    If he doesn't even understand how demanding he is being, how do you expect him to fix himself? Plus, to be honest at this point, there is not much you can do apart from saving yourself from this misery.
    Why do you feel like you have to endure all his crap? He doesn't even allow you to breathe.
    But of course, you will claim that you love him so you're not going to listen to me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, I think this is a good example where "happiness needs to come from within". Perhaps he feels he needs to control you to that extent to fill a void in his own life?

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What Girls Said 4

  • Controlling is a super red flag. Do not let it get to the point of where you can't leave. It's not a road you wanna go down. I promise. Controlling critical boyfriends often turn into abusive boyfriends.

    You cannot get him to change, no woman can change a man, man has to want to change.

    In my opinion, it’s nearly always a better bet to find a new boyfriend than to complain that the current one makes you unhappy. If he makes you so unhappy, he shouldn’t be your boyfriend. Seems obvious from the outside, but when you’ve invested time and emotion, it becomes particularly hard to cut bait and start over.

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  • I'm sorry, but you should definitely break up with him. Take it from a girl who was in a very abusuve relationship. I'm not necessarily saying yours will become physically abusuve, but he's actually already emotionally abusive towards you by fighting you and criticizing you. This is a definite no no. My ex was exactly like this, he controlled every little thing. He then began shoving me and hitting me. Control is NOT okay. He is crossing a line. You should break up with him before it gets worse. This is not a healthy relationship and he doesn't even seem like he wants to be with you since he is constantly criticizing you and fighting you. Trust me hon, this won't end well.

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  • Anytime you have to sit back and think if you are or are not "allowed" to do something involving your own well being or body because of your boyfriend... it is time to make him your ex boyfriend.

    Your "loving him to death" means that you're already pretty far into the cycle of abuse, when you separate from him you must sever ALL ties with a guy like this. He will suck you back in, as he already knows how to manipulate you.

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  • I don't understand why you're still with this person. He's not right. He just wants to fight or have sex... that in itself seems wrong...

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