Should I continue looking or date one of them?

I've been single for over a year now, not because im extremely picky but because i just haven't felt a connection to anyone in a really long while. just no chemistry with anyone.
but lately i've been talking to these two guys and they are just so great.
they're both considerate and sweet, easy to talk to, funny, have good manners, have good paying jobs and are gentlemen (the type that open doors and dont ever want me paying when we go out no matter how much i insist), and are just easy to get along with. just the problem is that i dont feel any sparks with either of them. sure they're easy to talk to and there's no drama but there's also no excitement. im not saying i want a "bad boy", all of my ex's had the same characteristics as them, i find these traits extremely admirable, but there were also sparks with my ex's, unlike them.
a part of me thinks i should just date one of them already because i constantly hear stories about guys mistreating their girlfriends so im glad i've attracted some great guys, but then another part of me feels like it'd just be pointless since there's no real chemistry. what do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The point he's trying to say is that your not going to find these guys to often. He's saying that sure you might not be attracted with a spark, but when you do find that "spark", its most likely going to be with someone who doesn't treat you right, and then your going to feel that statement.

    Personally its your life, and you should trust yourself to make your own decision, but maybe try with one of the guys, give them a shot, see if a spark gets lighted. That being said, don't force yourself to date them if you don't want to, it will cause more pain than gain, but if you really want to see how they treat you, and if you could date one, try dating them.

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    • i get what he's saying and it i do see how that applies to some people (how they dont want to be with someone who treats them right but then eventually settle for someone who treats them poorly) but as i mentioned already, im not into guys like that, all of my ex's had the same personality traits as these 2 guys, that is what draws me to them. just the difference is i actually felt a really good connection and sparks with my ex's, but with them i dont. but yeah that is good advice, i will try dating one of them to see how that goes.

    • Its always worth a shot, if you don't feel it after, lets say 2 dates, then move on. However, if you start to feel something thats great! Maybe found a match. Again, its all personal choice, and all comes down to what you want to do, wishing you the best luck :)

Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 2

  • they're both considerate and sweet, easy to talk to, funny, have good manners, have good paying jobs and are gentlemen (the type that open doors and dont ever want me paying when we go out no matter how much i insist), and are just easy to get along with. just the problem is that i dont feel any sparks with either of them.

    "there are no good guys around, what happened to all the good mannered gentlement who are considerate and know how to treat a lady" - the common female in America.

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    • whats your point? im not complaining about a shortage of good guys. just like i mentioned before, all of my ex's have had those same personality traits. i do often hear about guys with no manners who dont know how to treat their girlfriends but luckily i haven't been in that situation.

  • I think you should stop sucking money out of men who are dating you under the pretense you have some interest in them, when in fact you're using them to fill in a boring time in life looking for someone you're attracted to.

    Incidentally, the point the other male was making is that these good mannered gentlemen will eventually learn their lesson, and stop treating women well unless they're fucking.

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    • damn sounds like someone has a lot of personal problems. nobody said anything about money (other then that they're the type to always want to pay, not that im trying to suck money out of them) and all opinions are welcomed, im not offended if someone disagrees but dont act like im some kind of gold digger just because i dont feel a connection with someone who chooses to spend money on me.

What Girls Said 2

  • Get out and live your life. More hobbies and love for yourself that gets you interacting with people. Date non e of them. Don't waste your time or theirs when there is no spark.

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  • No chemistry no date

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