Let's be friends, for now?

I'm 27 she's 26 we're both divorced people with plenty of experience dating. She's a woman I can be myself with. I know what to say to make her feel better or to make her laugh and she knows exactly how I'm feeling. I never have to explain myself when I say something stupid. Our 1st kiss was incredible and every kiss after even more so. It came to a stop one night at my house when I told I her how she made me feel. I made the mistake of asking if we could lay down and watch tv. I had no intentions of having sex with her. I got a text the next day saying she didn't want to see me anymore. She said I had made her uncomfortable talking about a relationship and that I made sexual advances towards her. We talked some more and she tells me only texting and phone conversation. She tells me "lets be friends for now" and I know what that means but the "for now" keeps me sticking around. But our conversations turn into one word sentences so I decide to eventually ghost her. I go two weeks without messaging her to give her a way out and it hurts. Then I get messages asking me how I'm doing and we start talking again.

I know what I want. I can't be a real friend to her because I know if she starts dating someone I'll be depressed and angry. However she flirts, we use pet names, she asks me if we can hang out and we play video games and cuddle. We don't kiss, I can't tell if she wants to or not. She told me three days ago I'm a good friend. She told me yesterday I always know how to make her smile. We're going on a picnic with my dogs to the park this weekend.

I'm so confused as to how to move forward because I can't just be her friend. There is a genuine dorky chemistry and I know being just friends will hurt us in the long run. I feel the moment things got serious she backed away. This felt real, it hurt like hell when it was "over", and now it's beginning to feel real again but I don't trust my judgement of this situation and fear I'm projecting my desires onto reality.

Updates:
So an update: Out of the blue she asks me if we can go to a museum next weekend and if she can spend the whole day with me. This turns into her asking me to come over tonight to her house, which is a first. She is living with parents currently, I meet them, meet her son, and we watch a bad scary movie and eat ice cream. I tell her I want to kiss her and we kiss and it tells me everything I need to know. She asked me for a second chance to better know me. I just couldn't refuse. 😊

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My thinking is just have fun. Don't think of it as a friendship and try to deduce what her goal is. Obviously she has somethings to workout before she can move on. In essence have the time of your life with her. If you want to be the man she wants then be one she can come to for a smile and a good time :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • You have to be open with her. Tell her that you don't think u can be just friends but if she wants more u would like that. No point in doing something that hurts u. She may like u as a friend but i dont think it is much more.

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  • I have had the "for now" turn into "let's date exclusively" or "let's have sex". I think you are better off pursuing someone else. :/

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What Guys Said 4

  • You just described how my last relationship started. Told her how I felt, she said she felt the same way, next morning she asked if we could just be friends and see where that would take us, yada yada.
    Anyhow, I agreed. We remained friends. I stopped focusing on trying to get her, and focusing on myself. I started hitting the gym, got the body I always wanted, picked up a ton of hobbies, and spent plenty of time with my friends. Eventually, other women started noticing me. I would walk my female friends to class, have lunch with women who I hung out with, and meet up with them on the weekends.
    This bugged her. She told me how she felt, and I told her that I still want us to "try" a relationship. We ended up dating for 4 years.

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  • She's not interested, simply put.

    That "for now" thing and flirting is her bullshit way of stringing you along until she finds someone else.

    She's a piece of shit and you need to move along, man; as much as it's going to suck.

    Staying in this "friendship" will suck more, though.

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  • You have tk tell her this. You need to communicate with her. Period. Ask her why she doesn't want that.

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  • Move and tell her to call you when and if she's ready.

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