Would you think your partner was a loser if they didn't have a lot of friends?

Would you think your partner was a loser if they didn't have a lot of friends (maybe one or two), or they weren't very social or they would consider you as their best friend?

And as a side question, are there any friendly, social apps to make friends?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Certainly not. Loser or not is not counted by the number of people you call 'friend'.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No... I would never think that. I would just think he/she is an introvert and either more focused on work or studies than building relationships.

    But unfortunately relationships are the key to happiness (or misery), so having very good ones is very important.

    Having that said, i would be their friend but it would be nice if he/she has at least ONE other very good /close friend.. otherwise you become too attached/dependent and needy upon one person and if anything ever happens, it will almost feel like the lost/death of a dear person - not recommended. So having a healthy social circle or people whom you talk to is very important (whether online or in person).

    As for apps, well there is Tinder and Happn (although u should specify u only look for friends since they are dating apps and I don't know what "social" apps are there ONLY for friendships... I knew a few back in the Netherlands but I don't know if there are any in general... maybe u can tell me/us when u find some! :D ehhehe

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    • Lol thank you for sharing!

What Guys Said 44

  • "The realest people dont have a lot of friends" Tupac

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  • About the only thing that would make me think she was a loser in this would be if the reason she didn't have friends was because she was constantly causing drama, manipulating them, treating them like dirt, or otherwise screwing people over constantly.

    If that's not the reason she don't have many/any friends, then I really don't care. She could be more career focused, or have kids that need more attention, or just not sociable, or comfortable around numerous people. Nothing wrong with that at all.

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    • Very good point, thank you for sharing.

  • Meh. I have like three real friends lol. Just a shit load of acquaintances

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    • Do you care for the acquaintances?

    • Not really. Just gym buddies and guys that I will party with occasionally.

    • Ah, I see. Thank you for sharing. :)

  • Nope, actually I like asocial girls mostly, since asocials are seen as losers in stupid society. They have more things worth to speak mostly.

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    • Very interesting point.

  • Friends are in the quality, not the quantity. You only need 1 guy you can count on when you need him rather than 10,001 guys who ran away.

    That being said, you should have some social contacts. You don't need friends. You only need people who know something about someone to do business connection.

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    • Ooh, I like that plan.

  • No, i wouldn't mind at all. I don't have many friends either, and the ones i do have I'm not very close with.

    Without either of us having very many friends, it'd allow us to invest a lot more into eachother and our relationship. So its not necessarily a bad thing.

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  • Not at all. In fact, I would love to have a SO who just has a few close friends, rather than a ton of friends. It would make spending time with each other that much easier.
    I dated a girl who had a more friends than the average person. A handful backstabbed her, many weren't "true friends," and a few of them weren't even that close to her.

    When it comes to friends, quantity isn't important. It's the quality of your relationship with them that matters most.

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  • I don't use the term "loser" because I don't see the point.

    As such, I also don't understand when people do use the term. I think they just love putting people down... So that they get to watch them suffer.

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    • Well, Misery loves Company, right?

  • No I wouldn't think they were a loser if they had one or two friends. I myself have a best friend who lives half way across the country, my other friends which are really two people only hangout to play sports, smoke weed or watch movies. No I don't think their are, i'm sick of people and wasting my time honestly

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    • "I'm sick of people and wasting my time honestly." I love this quote so much.

    • *Don't think they are rather. The world and the people in it piss me off, i'm slowly becoming bitter I just might become the old man from "Gran Torino"

  • No, I wouldn't consider them a loser, I'd consider them an introvert. Also of they considered me their best friend, I would feel honored.

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    • Why would you feel honored?

    • Because being someone's best friend is, at least where I'm from, an honor. Is that not true where you live? Are people ashamed of being someone's best friend? Seems like an odd custom.

    • For some people, having someone to consider them their best friend and you cannot reciprocate that feeling back, it's embarrassing for the person who doesn't feel the same.

  • No since neither of us has many friends. As teenagers most think they need to have more and more and more people in their life they call their friend. As life goes on you realize who are your true friends, who are aquiantances and who are meant for a period of time and then to just move on down a path you might never cross again or if you do cross paths again it might not be at the same point and time.

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    • Thank you, I agree with this

  • No I don't have many freind and most if the girls i dated liked it lol one of them interduced me to her freinds. Somehow i always end up with sociable women but honstly i would prefer a girl who is a loner like me because would make me feel like she is more independent and not a follower for her freinds.

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    • Thank you for sharing!

  • No, not at all.

    And honestly no idea, I have been inactive on social media, because I'd be stuck to the phone or it'd get blown up, you know

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    • Any reason? And it's okay.

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    • Ah, good answer. Thank you for sharing.

    • You're very welcome :)

  • That's preferable coz I'm not interested in her friends, only her. My girlfriend has fucking thousands of friends and it's a pain in the butt frankly! lol

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  • No, I don't care either way. I am happy independent because the majority of guys don't know how to be friends. Whenever they caught me by myself, most of them just look the other way and ran but I didn't care anyways because I'd rather be masculine than feminine. Most guys these days leach onto their buds and I always see girls independent. I don't know why but shit happens and being independent as well as confident is the greatest traits for a man can have because it's fun, it's sexy and I love them so much.

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  • nooooooooooo

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  • i dont have any friends, and im an introvert so i dont have any social life. and i dont consider anyone a loser just because of this. its stupid to consider this just because a person has no friends

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  • I would not consider them to be a loser... life is busy on its own, sometimes there just isn't time to make friends, or they may have friends but there is virtually no time left for them!

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    • People fail to realize that important aspect.

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    • Is it because it takes up too much of your time as it is? Do you do it out of obligation to spend time with them, or you really want to?

    • I really want to it is just lack of time and conflicting schedules more than anything.

  • I wouldn't think less of her. I have a very small group of friends as most moved away at 18 so I couldn't judge someone else for having only a few.

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  • It's hard to make friends when you're a parent, you gotta work, take care of kids etc. As long as they aren't depressed by not having many friends then I wouldn't intervein

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  • No, but I would be concerned about her becoming clingy if she has no friends to hang with while dating.

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  • It wouldn't bother me. If anything it probably means I'm extra important to them.

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    • Aww, I like how you put it :)

  • Well losers also have many friends , someone that has very less friends or hasn't must not called loser , maybe he or she is very shy or aren't into social interaction that much , or maybe that poor person have serious mental problems that makes him or her that way since birth.

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    • I didn't realize that even people with lots of friends could be losers, too.

  • Nah I am in the same boat.

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  • I would never think my partner is a loser, i would love them for who they are.

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    • Aww, that's sweet! :)

  • i may think that there could be a reason why they dont have a lot of friends. i wouldn't think they're a loser per se. if they were I probably wouldn't have dated them and starting a relationship with antisocial people can be pretty challenging anyway

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    • Yeah, it can be pretty difficult at first lol but they eventually warm up.

  • Certainly not! Seeing her having friends is respectable, but not at all necessary.

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  • no i dont think so.

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    • Any reason why?

    • i think thats a really extreme body modification. just like being filled with tattoos.

  • not really. it´s ok.

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  • Hello, I'm a loser

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    • Nooooo, don't say that about yourself.

    • haha it's fine... not happy with my social life but it's something you can fix

    • Lol like a lot of things in life, of course.

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What Girls Said 40

  • Not at all. My boyfriend told me I was his best friend before we started going out and I felt the same about him. I know he does have a few friends but I think he has more on Xbox than in real life whereas I just have friends in real life but am not super close to any of them though some I am closer to than others.

    I'm not sure how many friends we each have or who has the most close friends in real life but even if he doesn't have many friends, that doesn't make me think of him as a loser or anything, I think it's pretty normal to just have a handful of friends or 1 or 2 close ones.

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    • I love that you and your boyfriend consider each other to be best friends.

  • I am pretty friendly and outgoing so I would not have much in common with him, however, I have dated and mated a few Who... Weren't very social.
    No, not a 'Loser' at all. Just an Introvert a bit. I know a few people who are Extremely like this and never even Cared to get married.
    I would Suggest Facebook is the Best from the Rest 'To make friends.' A man from Egypt had once upon a time Found me on there and we Ended up Tying the knot in Egypt but sadly, we didn't live happily ever after...
    BTW: He was Shy Guy but I brought out the Best in him. I was his... Best friend to the End.
    Good luck. xx

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    • How did you come across this man on Facebook?

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    • Ah, I see lol

    • lol!! Quite an experience. xx

  • No, I don't consider them a loser. Lots of acquaintances but only one or two close friends seems to be the norm. I personally don't have a lot of close friends, but I have tons of acquaintances. My boyfriend has one friend he's been BFFs with for 20+ years.

    Core friendships last, but casual ones are very fluid.

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    • I love that statement you made, "Core friendships last, but causal ones are very fluid."

  • Do you know how many of the population identifies with being an introvert, aka someone who doesn't particularly like or require social interaction or social stimulation to feel fulfilled or entertained? Are we all to be considered losers because we prefer solitude or are very selective in our friends?

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    • I don't think anyone identifies being an introvert. People are just are introverts.

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    • "Others may judge you to be of INTROVERT based on your behaviour and the way you talk to other people, but if you yourself don't consider yourself to be of INTROVERT, then you don't SELF-IDENTIFY as being that way." - if you're an introvert, then you're an introvert. you dont choose to NOT be and introvert. oh wait, sorry, i meant "self-identify**" not choose.

    • @actual_dragon_tears If you can't understand the difference between self-identify and choosing something, I can't help you. In this case I would judge you to have difficulty comprehending concepts, but I bet you don't self-identify as having a learning disability.

  • no. I was very social and fun and easily fit in with people for a long time. I just chose to become a hermit in response to life. I still have goals and a purpose and find fun unorthodox things to do to keep busy but just prefer to be alone or with strangers. I just like to go unknown. I may be considered a loser in the eyes of society as most i hang out with dont know me but that doesn't actually make me a looser. It just makes me a bit disconnected and unknown. I still have the same mindset as back then its just not so obvious.

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    • Any reason for this change in how you socialize?

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    • Ya.. Its hard. Finding purpose from The good memories you had isn't an easy thing, actually I've found its progressively more and more difficult

    • Maybe you oughta give people a chance. Not everyone is bad.

  • No. Because I don't. I am shy and a little introverted and it is in our nature to have a few close friends and not a large group of social friends. I fit that to a tee. So, I would not mind if guys did or didn't have a lot of friends. Once you get older I feel like people get married and lose touch and end up keeping a few close friends so it is almost the norm for me and people my age to have less.

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    • Yeah, that's true. I seem to always forget that. Though, it already feels like I'm married with a lack of friends already. Most of them moved away or stopped all contact. I have one friend I still see from time to time and my boyfriend that I'm with whenever I can be.

    • Same here. I usually only have one friend that I hang out with consistently, otherwise I have a few friends I see maybe a few times a year because of schedules or their significant others. Sometimes it sucks because if I am off of work I usually have nothing to do or will do things by myself. I am not dating anyone either so I am usually alone. It is okay, I am used to it and at this point in my life it isn't going to change. I don't feel like anyone I have dated judged me for it because I do have at least a few friends, if I had none that might be a red flag to them.

    • Hang in there. Besides, you seem like a good person.

  • No I wouldn't judge them based on how many friends they have. They could have 3, 2, or 1 or maybe not any friends but I wouldn't consider them a loser. I personally don't have a lot of friends. But there are social apps out there to help you make friends. You just have to be cautious about who you speak to you and don't trust people so easily online because you never know who you are speaking to.

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    • What are some of those apps to make friends?

    • And of course, safety is number one to these social apps. Thank you for adding that cautionary message. :)

  • my boyfriend dont have many friends, mots of them in an other city, country or people he met online so only chat with. he considers me as his best friend and we both like to hang out together, he says he is a bit antisocial cause he likes to stay in but he socializes well. anyway i dont consider him a looser at all, its just his personnality, im like that too so

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    • Sounds like my boyfriend, too.

    • i think the important is to be happy in the situation and that the social status of the person does not affect you negatively, if it does, then talk to him about it

    • Good idea.

  • If I meet a guy and he has no friends, despite not being new to the area, I see that as a red flag.. like, there's obviously a reason he has no friends.

    But if he is the type who keeps a fairly small social circle, that's perfectly normal and honestly way less exhausting than a guy who feels the need to be friends with everyone.

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    • Why would that be a red flag? What if he's just too busy to maintain or establish friendships?

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    • FYI, his interpersonal relationships with others should not be of your concern. The extent of it should be that you love him, and therefore you don't care if he has friends or not. It's not like you will hang out with them anyways unless you planned on fucking them if you didn't care too much to be their friend in the first place.

    • Really not understanding the anger here... you asked what people would think if they started dating someone and learned that they had no friends. I gave an honest answer. I, personally, think friendship is an important aspect of life, so a guy that doesn't value that is a guy that I wouldn't want to be with. Apparently that makes me a rigid bitch in your eyes. Ok. Sure.

  • no not really. I just assume he didn't have a chance to make many friends

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    • I like that thinking of yours.

  • People should never be judged by their quantity of friends, only the quality of the friends they do keep.

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  • No, why would I think that? Friends don't define who you are, you define yourself. But it is nice to have 5 friends to go out with from time to time but you can have 1000 friends but only 1 will be your best friend.

    There are some apps out there, but you have to be careful who you speak to.

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    • I agree, thank you for sharing

  • Nah, I don't care about that as long as I'm not his ONLY friend.

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  • Absolutely not , I would think they are more selective like me and just dont go with any crowd. people think having a lot of friends is everything. Its highly overrated.

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  • I don't have a lot of friends and my boyfriend doesn't think I am a loser

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    • Well, that's good at least! :)

  • Technically yes, but I've never liked technical "winners" because they tend to be self righteous, petty, and naive about what the real world is really like. They still live in a bubble of their praises

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    • Winner for being social or having a lot of people? How is it self righteous to have a lot of friends?

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    • Yep, so even if someone is a "loser" I would rather be with them then a "winner" because they would be more interesting, inspiring and fun to be with

    • Agreed, thank you for sharing :)

  • My SO has really few friends, he is really pick on who he trusts and calls friend.

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    • Are we in a relationship and I don't know yet? haha he sounds like me, I don't trust nobody I'm like scarface lol

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    • Trust issues is a defensive mechanism from being used or cheated on, plain and simple

    • @Nomad69 Yes, very true

  • I'm kinda asocial and liver-in-mind, so i don' have many friends but it doesn't mean i'm not funny or smart or don't know how to act popular. Only i deserve it to people I feel connected, even if i'm kind with everyone. I hope guys (and girls) won't be influnced by these superficial parametres.

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    • I love this answer a lot. Thank you.

    • Aww, thanks for the question. I guess you're also a deep person with a lot to say. Kiss ;-)

    • I don't know about being deep, but I just don't like wasting my time lol but thank you :)

  • No. Because that's me :(

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    • May I ask what type of person you are?

  • No because I don't have many friends either. I don't like having acquaintances, I like a few close friends. I'm very loyal and friendships take effort and energy so I don't bother with many. I'd be able to relate to a guy who feels the same way. It might mean I get to see him more which is nice, and I wouldn't have to deal with meeting too many people. lol
    I would like it if I was his best friend because I'd want him to be mine.

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    • Aww, your answer was sweet. :)

  • Nooope not at all, would think they're cool!

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    • Any reason you would think like this?

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    • yeah it's true but they shouldn't everyone has the right to choose how they want to live. ^^

    • Damn straight lol

  • Maybe a little... i wouldn't want him to feel bad when i hang out with my friends. And meetup is a good app. You find a group of people you share interests with and hang out with them

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    • Ooh, thank you for giving me an app to check out!

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    • Love this answer. Thank you for answering. :)

    • No problem

  • No I would not think that at all, with me though I would help them out of there shells

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    • Any reason you don't think it's bad?

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    • Ah, okay I see. Thank you for sharing. :)

    • Your very welcome :) are you a shy person?

  • Yes I would think he's a big fat loser haha I'm jk jk kk no if I truly love him none of da should even matter in the first place as long as he loves me cares me das all I need lol

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    • Lol thank you for sharing

  • The guy I'm seeing right now is more introverted and has a couple of friends. I'm more of an ambivert, but leaning closer towards the introverted side and have a couple of good friends.

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    • How is that your social pattern is changing? Is it because of this guy you're dating?

    • My social pattern has always been this way. I've always been a little introverted but I know how to have fun and be extremely goofy/silly. So in short I'm a bit of a loner.

    • Ah, I see. Well, its normal.

  • Considering that I hardly have friends, I would not

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    • I'm sure you do. Are you an introvert?

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    • No problem :(

  • Well, I'd certainly rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies. Quality over quantity.

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    • Ooh, nice way of putting it :)

  • For me it depends on why he doesn't have any friends. If it's because he's shy, then I don't think he's a loser but if it's because he's overly opinionated and thinks he is always right then yes.

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    • That's very specific.

    • Maybe it is a bit :) but the point is having no friends because he's an asshole and doesn't care about hurting others. is different than having no friends because he's shy.

    • True, true.

  • No I would not.

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  • No, I honestly don't really care that much. I don't have very many friends either.

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