I'm very baffled. I've had some girls off tinder and some of the dating apps message me first or even suggest texting but when I do text them back or respond back, they'll either give one word/generic replies and do nothing to further the conversation.
It's painfully annoying because I feel like I'm doing an interview and it puts pressure on me that I have to come up with something interesting to say all the time or else it's all my fault if there's awkward silences. Fuck that shit, if you're interested in a person and you message them first, you shouldn't expect them to do all the work. Those aren't conversations, those are interviews.
I get that some girls are a little shy at first, but if they're constantly like that then it feels awkward and you'll run out of things to talk about at a point. It's also hard to read cues and mannerisms when it's over text and not in person.
It just seems like it's been a trend as of late. Who else has been dealing with this lately? I feel that even when I ask open ended questions, the same shit happens.
Most Helpful Girl
It happens both ways. I even put that in one of my profiles, that if you are not going to have a proper conversation where both people keep it going to not bother. So, it is not a girl or guy thing, it is an individual thing and it is very annoying. Since putting that in my profile I have gotten a good response and no longer get that so try that.2
Most Helpful Guy
Everyone, men and women, boys and girls, wants to feel desired and wanted. Everyone wants to receive affection. But, nobody wants to ask for affection. Nobody wants to have to ask for attention, or being made to feel like they're wanted or desired. Why? Because it would take away from the feeling, while simultaneously exposing a vulnerability to someone who may either take it and run with it, or not respond to that information in a caring, loving and sensitive way.
When you're still a stranger to a girl, "trust" is missing. She doesn't feel safe. She doesn't feel secure. All she may feel is that she's attracted to you and curious about you. From that point, all she wants from you is attention and validation. She wants to feel safer and more secure. She wants to be able to trust you more and be more comfortable with you and around you.
In jujitsu, it's analogous to "passing guard." Sure, if you're obsessed with things like emotional control, or if you're very insecure and need to monopolize the attention and validation for yourself (as a man), then maybe you'll play dumb and be like, "Err, I don't know why this girl initiates and then wants me to continue the convo."
Did you initiate? Did you risk rejection? Did you put yourself out there? No. She did. She made you feel good about yourself. She gave you attention and made you feel wanted and desired, valued and appreciated (sexually, as a man). How much of that do you need? Do you think she needs any? Wouldn't it be nice to give some of that feeling back to her? Don't you think it's about time and only fair that you reciprocate?1