Why does it seem guys prefer women with kids?

Now in my early 30's I find that my girlfriends and I who are single, independent, make good money, have no kids struggle to find men. Meanwhile my girlfriends who don't have any consistency with their jobs, have children from prior relationships sometimes multiple baby daddies, seem to always be able to get into a relationship? Don't say it's just me. Me and some of my girlfriends are always talking about this so I know it's common. Guys, whats the deal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men have no reason to stay attached to you. I know I'm young and probably have no reason to chime in on this but my dad married my mom and adopted my brother when he was five and I've talked to him about it. He really liked my mom but my brother really pushed him to stay. My dad's parents divorced when he was 12 and my grandad died when he was 18 so when he met my brother the thought of being a father to this kid kind of encouraged him to be a little less self concerned and stick around just a little longer and that little push was enough to get him hooked. My ex's step dads (yes that's an s) were kind of similar. The single girl is just out on her own living life the single mom is juggling work and raising a child so a lot of men see that and it softens them up just enough to get them attached. With the single girl it's all about what in it for me. Is this the right girl for me? And it's justifiable. You two are just humans trying to find a good thing. But the mom introduces a new vulnerable third life. And a lot of guys (those who don't run at first site) will get pulled in by that just long enough to let a relationship build.

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    • Very interesting. You might be young but that was insightful.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Child care is something guys look for in a mate.

    The guys usually have kids too and are looking for someone to take care of them for him. They probably think a mom is more likely to just accept more kids so he can go out & do his thing than a woman with no kids.

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What Guys Said 21

  • I have 2 reasons for you, although these are just the most common responses from guys I know that look for single parents.

    1) They are a lot more responsible than none mothering girls. They will do what they have to, to provide for the baby/kid.

    2) They are more desperate. I know its terrible but there are guys out there that use desperate moms who are just truing to find a little help and happiness with raising the child. Therefore they think it takes less convincing to get the parent to go out with them upon other things.

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    • Yea, I seem to be getting similar responses. Thanks. Not sure if all this makes me feel better but it is what it is,. Not that I don't want my friends with kids to be happy.

  • Sometimes the men don't want children. By 30 you have normally made up your mind. It's an easier conversation to have with a women who has them anyway. Rather then "no children" it becomes "no more children".

    Although to be honest I see more of it the other way around. Single people in their 30's tend to be drawn more to those who match what they have. Men who have children already find women who have them, and those who don't find those who don't because of how they work their lives around different things.

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  • duuude. try finding a girl without kids at 30 -.- forget it. you won´t find one decent one. i guess guys just go with it and straight up go for chicks with kids, cause they are "easier" to have xD... they know it´s hard to find a guy if you already have kids. i personally don´t prefer women with kids at all.

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  • Nothing to do with kids - but more about how they are capable of luring guys in.

    COnsidering they struggle with their jobs and whatnot and have multiple baby-daddies its quite clear there is a pattern. People have to have some talents and theirs is luring in men.

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    • Maybe I need to get some advice on how they get this attention.

  • Could it just be that you and your financially and socially responsible friends are more picky when it comes to men?
    I would assume that if you had multiple "baby daddies" and children whose father left, you were irresponsible in picking a man - yes, I know, some guys are just jerks and leave for no reason. That said, they're probably not too picky and are willing to date most guys.

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  • It's a question of standards. You and your educated, employed friends have standards. The girls who are having multiple baby daddies don't. You wouldn't want the guys they get.

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    • Actually that is true. You're right. I've not found them the types I would date.

  • i've never heard this being the case. in fact for more often i've heard it's far harder for girls with kids to find guys... almost across the board this is what i've usually heard

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  • I don't prefer to date a woman who doesn't have kids. But I would love to marry a woman who would have our children with me.

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  • Are you sure the quality of men are good? I mean none of the other guys stayed to take care of their kids.

    Is that what you want? Just a baby daddy? Are you a hood rat? I mean I know some hood rats!!! lol.

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    • That's true, i would consider some of my friends a little on the hood rat side.

  • I believe the mothers with kids are likely being less choosey!

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  • Girl + Baby = must like sex
    Career Girl = doesn't have time for her man

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  • Tch. I'd never date a woman with kids.

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  • Because they are open to relationships and more importantly... they put out...

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  • It is just you. This is not true. Any number of polls on this website about "would you date a single mom" will show it to be false.

    There are some guys prepared to date single moms, but they are by no means the majority.

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  • Well I never heard this before, I'm having trouble finding anyone in your age group with out kids that would like me knowing I have older teenagers not living with me

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    • Strange. I have plenty of girlfriends who have no kids. They wanted to work on their careers but just never had luck in finding the right man. I was starting to think because they just felt they had to work too hard for girls without baggage.

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    • Interesting. Could be true. I've seen relationships in which one parent has no kids and feel they have to make up for financial slacks due to the others persons child support payments. Well... I'm sorry :(

    • Yeah maybe and does happen on both ends , even when I married her back then she had two boys already and then we had 3 girls together later on and the support she was getting wasn't much so I was making up the difference at times, so that can either

  • i sure as hell don't.

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  • It's just you.

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  • honestly, i don't know if you're interpreting this right. girls that have kids from a previous relationship are usualyl considered less attractive, unless I;m missing something

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    • Not sure about that. I have had two friends who found a new man within months of ending their last relationship. A third friend who is now engaged and one of the two who have a new man are also having another baby. Meanwhile I get men who tell me I'm beautiful and don't even bother to ask me out.

    • well honestly Im stumped, if it makes you feel better, if I were given the choice id choose you. Let me break the alter ego for a minute and type correctly since someone actually cares now. Generally speaking, men would prefer a woman without too much "history" like this, but maybe those guys are also coming out of divorces/situations with kids, so maybe they can relate more easily to your friends. I don't know... from my perspective, I'd rather someone in your situation anyway

  • Great question, i don't

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  • "Now in my early 30's I find that my girlfriends and I who are single, independent, make good money, have no kids struggle to find men."

    It's funny. As men get older, their value goes up - they make more money, get better jobs, have more resources and typically get better looking.

    When women get older, their value starts to decline. Even if a woman is making good money, has a job, etc... women start to lose their looks as they age, which plays a major factor in attracting men.

    If women weren't so choosey in their 20s or spent all their time messing around, it would be idea for them to try to settle down in their 20s to avoid losing value as they age.

    "Now in my early 30's I find that my girlfriends and I who are single, independent, make good money, have no kids struggle to find men."

    I actually don't see this at all. I always hear a lot of men don't want to date with kids. I am one of them. I don't have kids, I am 25... and I don't want to date women with them. HOWEVER... I never said I wouldn't spend time with a woman with kids... only if that means I get to sleep with her/ have sex with her ;). However... with a woman with kids, I would never get serious with her... I would just use her for sex.

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    • Agh. The decline of attractiveness. I like to hink in my 30's I don't look that bad ;) lol.

  • Can't say, but if it were me and i liked kids but didn't want any it would seem the best way to go since they aren't mine.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i thought that was the opposite, no kids...

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