Long story short, I'm a single mother who had a child with a Black man. He abandoned me while I was pregnant and never heard from him again. First couple of years was really difficult for me but I got helped from my family to get back on my feet.
Now back to my question, I meet this white guy at a megacon Convention. He was good looking, funny and we shared a lot of things in common. We went out for lunch, everything was ok until I showed him a picture of my child then he got really uncomfortable and he never called me back after the lunch we had together.
I don't even know why I even care, white men aren't even my preference but I'm just shocked...
If he didn't realize you had a child, that is at LEAST as likely why.
If not, yea, it's possible. Why? - he may have suspected that 'white men aren't your preference' and he doesn't want to be with someone where he's not their preference. - he may be threatened by you having black partners in the past if he imagines them as huge dicked thugs. Some guys seem to feel that way. - he may have imagined walking around with you and the child and everyone clearly seeing it wasn't his, and that would bother him.
I'm not saying I consider these good reasons i'd follow, but I've heard them expressed.
I think the most likely answer is that it was just a picture of your child full stop. There are some men out there (and women) who don't want to be involved with a single parent, and that's completely fine. Better to not do it than mess it up.
The only other thing I can think of is maybe he felt like you would expect more from him? I know the phrase is a bit of a joke but "once you go black you'll never go back" but statistically black men are more... well endowed down there. Maybe he didn't think he could measure up?
Or, maybe he's just a dick. Probably best just to move on from this one.
Doubt it was about race, but more about the guy not wanting to be involved with a woman who has a kid. Which there's nothing wrong with that, but he should have been honest and upfront. How he left so abruptly is rude, and absolutely selfish. For that I am sorry.
Something that white women such as yourself need to understand very clearly is that the overwhelming majority of white men will not touch you after you have been with a black man, or a man of any other race. For most white men, that is the ultimate deal breaker.
It's much likelier that he just doesn't want a single mother of any kind.
That said, there is a lot of racial jealousy in society. Why would you want to go out with a racist?
That said, in this guy's defence, there is one way in which it would not be racist to be open to dating a single mother but only one whose child is not of a different race. That is that the guy might simply not be comfortable if other people were able instantly to tell that the child is not his.
More likely than not it was due to the fact that you had a child itself and not because of the child's color. You are at a stage in life where you need a man who is more responsible and willing to be a father. You aren't going to meet that type of guy at a comic book convention.
Out of curiosity l, what is your race? And 2ndly, never think that the next guy is the right one just because you and that guy share a lot of things in common. That was a good test tho... gotta say... Cuz now you know that guy you met, is not the one for you. I can go on about the single mom thing, but I'm not, but I will say that maybe he just didn't feel comfortable by seeing a woman who already has a kid. Maybe he felt that he will be tricked into paying for the childs stuff aswell. But then again, he might of felt like he wasn't worth being with Cuz your child is mixed
Yeah, it seems that might have been it. Some men apparently dont date women who dated outside their race. Not jist white men though, i think many men of all races are like that. Of all the things that people have gotten liberal, its stupid that people are closed minded about stuff like this. Anyway, it mighy have been for the best.
Only he would know for sure, but I think that finding out you are a mum is probably the reason he acted like he did. He is obviously too immature to deal with dating someone with a child. He proved that in the way he treated you, not even having the guts to talk to you about it.
I can relate. there's a woman at the gym I had the hots for. But 1 time we were leaving at the same time and I saw her getting her kids in the car and they were both really young (deal breaker) and a different race then her. big turn off.
I agree with these other answers, I think it was just the fact you have a child in general not so much his race. A lot of guys are not comfortable dating women with children for a number of reasons.
They might not be comfortable around kids, they don't want to become attached to a child that isn't theirs in case things go bad between the two of you, if they don't have children of their own yet they might feel awkward that you do, they might think they're too young for kids or they never want to have kids, or they even get the idea that you're looking for someone to be your child's father and he isn't interested in supporting a child that isn't his.
Either way, your son is a part of you and if a man can't accept him for any reason then he's not a good fit for you, white, black, or any other race.
Some of these answers say its because youve been with a black man. I hope white men aren't really that insecure, i know my dad nor any other white men in my family are. i think it had to do with you being a single mother. I hope that is why.