He says our relationship is complicated.. wth does that mean?

I met this guy at work... I could tell he kept finding ways to talk to me but was really shy. We always took late lunches and happened to be in the break room alone most days. We eventually started talking and ended up eating together every day. This led to him asking for my number and is seeing each other outside of work. We get along really well and always talk. Soon thereafter sexual tension became a daily card on the table. We ended up sleeping together and have since slept together a few times a week. So I guess we are friends with benefits? He has told me that he doesn't want a relationship and that's perfectly fine with me because I don't want to be in a serious relationship either. But he said he wants to see how things go as our relationship develops since he's not one that jumps into things. For the past few weeks he has been introducing me to meet his friends and his mom knows about me as well, I just don't know how much. All of his friends like me and have added me social media outlets. He tells me I'm perfect (body and personality wise) and beautiful and it's a plus that all of his friends he introduces me to really like me. But when his friends ask who I am after I leave, he says I'm his friend. And I recently asked him what he wants because his actions and PDA don't match his words.. he knows we are more than friends and his friends do too because they assume we are together. His response when I asked him: our relationship is complicated. What does that mean? Can someone decode his behavior and tell me what they think he is thinking? I told him I don't want a commitment but given our connection it would be nice to be introduced as, "the girl I'm dating" not "my friend". I like him a lot but still don't want a committed relationship- Dating doesn't have a commitment either and doesn't make me feel so disposable either. Help?


What Guys Said 1

  • First thing that crossed my mind is he's just using you as a sex toy.

    He might be hurting from a past relationship, and if I were you, I'd pursue the more serious relationship with him. If he denies you, then you know he's been using you

    • Thank you for your response- I thought he was using me too, but why would he make the effort of introducing me to his friends and tell me I'm perfect? If I find someone I think is perfect, I wouldn't want to let them go! On the other hand if I wanted to use someone I wouldn't go out of my way to introduce him to my friends and compliment him. Just doesn't make sense...

    • That's true. But what would you do to convince someone that they're special to you when they're really not?
      But take my advice. Ask him if he wants to get serious. If not, move on

    • I most recently told him how I felt and said that I like him, I don't want a serious relationship or title either, but it'd be nice to know that I also wasn't disposable to him either. So finding comfort in knowing that when I'm introduced to his friends I'm "the girl he's dating" and not his "friend" is kinda what I'm looking for. And his response to that was, "our relationship is really complicated." So naturally I was annoyed with that pathetic answer and told him that if he doesn't want my mind to wander in a direction that he is not planning on pursuing then he needs to stop telling me I'm perfect and beautiful.

What Girls Said 1

  • It probably means that he likes you and he's terrified of getting hurt again and wants to take it super slow

    • Thanks for your response- his friends told me it's been a long time since he's had a girlfriend so bring a guy I'd hope he's over it by now. I don't think it's fair to drag me along because you've been hurt.. we all have been! Ya know?

    • He's not. Your relationship is clearly moving forward. He just doesn't want a label. Plus you said you don't want anything so how could he been dragging you along

    • If he doesn't want a label but wants to keep it exclusive then I don't see why it's so hard to just say that. lol! Thank you for your responses- I think it's just so pathetic that communication is such a struggle in the dating world.