Should I listen to my gut?

My boyfriend has a girl friend whom he speaks about way too often and brings her up in our convos randomly. I used to be fine with it until he mentioned he and her had a thing for eachother back then but she dumped him. I can't help but feel like he likes her more than a friend even though he denies it. I've already spoken to him about it and he swears that he only mentions her a lot because she knows so much about him. He doesn't mention his bestfriend (who is a guy) nearly as much as her. Things he's told me about her just make me feel uncomfortable. Any the real question I want to ask is... has this ever happened to you? and what did you do about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes listen to your gut. There is more to this than meets the eyes and feelings do resurface from time to time and could rekindle that also. Of course I have felt this way before someone and we dated for a while and we felt we were better as friends after and the feelings resurfaced after a while and I started chasing her again. The point it, he and her probably do have an unfinished business, but if he truly cares about you and you love his as much as he does, you'd give him a benefit of a doubt until you have suffice evidence or proven otherwise.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He may have a crush on her, but he probably doesn't admit it even to himself. I'd be mad about it if I were you as well.

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What Guys Said 8

  • It's really suspicious, but let's not say that he likes her more than a friend for sure. Of course he'll deny it... if haven't done it yet, try to tell him that you think he talks about her too much, that you're starting to feel uncomfortable about it and that you fear that she means more to him than yourself. See if he changes.

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  • have you ever hung out with them when they are together to see how they interact?

    i generally say trust your gut. if you aren't the jealous type and are generally ok with a boyfriend having female friends and your gut is still giving you a bad feeling there may be something behind it

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  • your gut is better than your heart. listen to your gut because in the end when your heart was wrong your gut will be happy

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  • Well, let's pretend you're a kid again.
    You make a nice drawing, you bring it to your parents and present it to them. Why?
    Because you're excited about the picture you drew, and you feel like sharing it to get approval.

    Now, same principal applies here. He talks about her a lot, brings her up, presents her to you. Why? Because he's excited about her or he's constantly thinking of her. That's a red flag.

    It's obvious he has a thing for her, and I do hope he isn't cheating on you, which he likely is.
    Bottom line, even if he isn't "cheating" on you, he is. His emotional being isn't with you, it's with her.

    If I were you, I'd do some research. See if they've been talking. (Check his messages, emails, etc)

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  • Listen to your gut. It sounds like your boyfriend is not 100% into your relationship. You dont deserve that. he's still got a thing for this chick/ex. You can never be friends with an ex. Very rare circumstance of course but it's never a good idea.

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  • Honestly yeah!

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  • i dont know but you're too pretty to be worried about such a thing, shouldn't be

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  • No. You should listen to your heart. Listen to the beat. Listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street.

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    • Open up your eyes, open up your ears. Get together and make things better... by working together.

What Girls Said 1

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