How can I stop seeing my ex fiance in every girl I'm interested in?

I'm Generally only interested in two categories of women. One of the categories is based on a very specific look (generally right around 100 lbs, 5'4'', short hair) or a very specific personality (it's easier to just say that it's never good for me, either they hate me with every ounce of their being but find me ungodly attractive for some reason or they just have sociopathic tendencies). Anyway, I only go after girls that have these traits for some reason and I can't stop myself from being unreasonably pissed off when I'm around them or have their attention.

A bit of history of why I probably hate them, but my ex and I were together a really short period of time and we were engaged, it was an open relationship and when she started hanging out with someone who got her back into drugs she ended up cheating (yes in an open relationship) with 6 guys.

Anyone know how to stop seeing my ex in the women I date?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Give yourself time to heal from the breakup.. Believe it or not there's a pattern in the people we choose as lovers. All my ex's have dark hair, dark eyes, tall, fit with a European background lol. But that's just my type anyway. As far as personality, all varied. Just remember why you'd want to be in a relationship in the first place. If it's for the wrong reasons than you're better off alone until you find the right reasons to be with someone. Don't be around anyone who completely reminds you of her and or who looks like her, it'll only bring you trouble unless that's what you want. You're probably not over her yet.. Give yourself time to heal..

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    • It's been 3 years.

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    • I have another girl that is really clearly interested in me. I've been analyzing the situation for 3 months since we first started talking at her work. I'm a regular customer seeing her everyday. I just don't want to fuck up and ruin this perfect opportunity by having her remind me of my ex.

    • You see sometimes if some1 hurts us bad, we look for them in others bc we are looking for what was actually missing in that person that hurt us. So whatever they didn't give us we hope to find that in someone else bc she possibly hurt you deeply bc u loved her, trusted her and enjoyed your bond with her. Try to let it go and focus on the person you're currently with. Even if some thoughts pop up in your head just remember that she possibly had a big effect on you at some point in your life and that's okay, try to accept it. My ex constantly use to compare me to his ex for good and bad things. Most of the time I let it slide bc I know that he thinks out loud way too much but it came to a boiling point where I had to tell him off about it but I still accepted his love for me and or the love he had for her. You will be okay, don't let the damage become worse by putting it on someone else. Accept the fact that she possibly holds a place in your heart but leave it there.

What Girls Said 3

  • Stop seeing people until you're over it

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  • Why the hell would you agree to be in an open relationship with a fiancĂ© with SIX GUYS? One other guy is bad enough but SIX. WTF

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    • I didn't. It was an open relationship with 2 other guys until she started lying.

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    • Maybe you just need to stop dating for a while and focus on you.

    • I do it all. Workout, meditate, train for defense. I know who I am better than most people know where to start. I've immersed myself in hobbies and research. I should be an absolute prize by this point.

  • Take a break from dating.

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What Guys Said 0

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