Why doesn't he want people to know about us?

About a month ago I started dating this guy. We’ve been friends for about a year. When he asked me out he told me we couldn’t tell anyone. Why doesn’t he want anyone to know? Is he like ashamed of me or something?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • maybe he's very shy or he doesn't like to admit his feelings for anyone infront of anyone

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah it sounds like he wants to hide you from everyone. That's not good. He should be proud to date you and proud to tell the entire world that you're his

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What Guys Said 10

  • He is not comfortable with having to answer people's questions. He wants to be able to make his mistakes without everybody knowing everything about you guys.

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  • Because he's dating someone else. If people know that you two are dating, they'll speak and word will go around, probably to his side (or main) woman. For real, tell people. See what happens and mark my words

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  • Confront him, simply ask him straight up. What exactly are you guys doing? If you don't get any clear answers, time to move on.

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  • I don't know ask him. I mean I'm pretty private with my relationships until it gets serious

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  • Either dump him if he is trying to hide it.. Or he needs to give you one vital reason

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  • Because it's your private life and hasn't got anything to do with anyone else

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  • It could be a number of things from him being shy to him just being a private kinda guy who doesn't like to publicize everything.

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  • He's ashamed of you plain and simple

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  • Perhaps you are a booty call. And he has a girlfriend you don't know about and he doesn't want her to know. Also possibly while he likes fucking you, your not the type of girl he wants other people to know he's messing with.

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What Girls Said 16

  • It could very well be, @fallen_angel666 He is Not Ready nor Raring to have to Expalin You and Him... Not just yet anyways.
    You say you both have 'Been friends for a year,' dear. Continue your Dating Process now, Nursing and Nurturing Something More Special and who Knows... It may be sooner than you think that He will be Showing you all around Town, Introducing you as "My Girl."
    I believe for now, he wants to be sure that the Newbie 'Dating this guy" Stays Steady and doesn't Fizzle the Sizzle out where he Ends up Embarrassed by having told Everyone... He Knows.
    No, I don't believe this about being 'Ashamed of me or something,' He just wants to be Cautious for now and to be sure of this New You.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Sounds like you should break up with him. There should be no reason to hide you. Have you talk to him about it?

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  • This is a BIG red flag. He's likely ashamed to be with you or maybe he's dating another girl and doesn't want either of you to find out. You should ask him exactly why and if not, end it with him. You should find a guy who wants to tell the world he's with you.

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  • It might not be because he's ashamed. He could be shy. Either way I don't like it. If he likes you he should be able to let people know. Unless you guys are dating and he's waiting to see if it turns into an actual relationship before making it public that's different.

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  • #HESUPTOSOMETHING

    In the beginning of my 2nd irl relationship, he didn't want ANYONE to know we were dating, he wouldn't hold my hand or kiss me etc.
    Turns out he was embarrassed to be dating me.

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  • How old this guy, and what is the age if consent in your country? And are you 15 as your profile says?

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  • The harsh reality no one wants to face. the Only way to come as close as possible to what someone might be feeling or to know the meaning of what they are trying to tell you is, to imagine yourself if&when you ever had to say that to someone. your reason is most likely their reason. BUT there are 1,000s of reasons.

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    • Or it could be he doesn't want other Females to know he is taken because he is still keeping his options open. Its sucks but maybe you guys are on just different pages.

  • He's playing you

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    • Not necessarily. I've been in a similae situation and I liked the girl a lot. I wanted to set a foundation before telling the world. Plus it's about confidence too. Sometimes when everyone knows everything there comes expectations and unnecessary input. So don't just jump and make assumptions.

  • I take it he's an older guy?

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  • that doesn't sound good

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  • Yes. That's exactly it

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  • Probably

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  • Your 15 years old how old is he

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  • You need to dump him or ask him if he's ashamed of you. You could be his side chick.

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  • maybe he isn't aloud to date yet, or maybe he doesn't want anyone to know that u two r together he might think he would be embarrassed or something

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  • He already has another.

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