My boyfriend took videos of girls flashing their boobs when he went on a trip... should I be concerned?

My boyfriend went to an event that and there were girls dancing raunchy and flashing their boobs. He went to the event months ago but it was just recently brought up and he got defensive. He was like "it was just like Mardi Gras." We were together a little over a month at the time. His excuse is that he wanted to make a party video. Should I be concerned or is he a guy just being a guy? The videos are still in his phone. I know he hasn't cheated on me or anything but is it wrong for me to be bothered by this? I know it's a man's natural instinct to look at other woman but why does he feel the need to act single? We've been together almost 5 months now. I just don't get it. I just need some advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you have any reason to think that he is in contact with any of those women? Is he ignoring you in favor of the video? If not, who cares? Why is this any different than porn, or Game of Thrones, or a Girls Gone Wild commercial (do they still have those)?

    These were almost certainly some random girls he didn't know and will never see again. They flashed their boobs, and that was hot, but who cares? He isn't having a relationship with them of any kind, right?

    Had my girlfriend gone to this party, she'd have taken a video and excitedly brought it home to show me, and if I'd gone and taken the video, she'd have looked forward to watching it. The idea that the girls would threaten our relationship wouldn't even occur to her - because I devote much of my free time and attention to her, by choice. She has no reason to feel jealous or insecure. Is there something else that makes you feel that way with your boyfriend?

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    • Your reply really made a lot of sense. Thank you. And yes, there have been some underlying issues but that's a whole different story. He does devote his time to me and we spend a lot of time together so you definitely are right. I do trust him and he stayed in contact while he was at the event so that does count for something. I just don't like the feeling I guess.

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    • Now that I think about it... those videos were taken before my body was an "issue"... I guess that's why it bothers me now...

    • The issue isn't the other women, the issue is HIM. in my opinion, you are in denial about his overall behavior. Yes, he's going to do what he's going to do - that much is true (you can't change other people). But you don't have to stay with him if he's doing things that you don't agree with, especially when they are having a direct, negative effect on you.

      Your life is your life, but I really caution you to think long and hard about why you'd want to be with someone who would talk to you that way, or who would get with you in the first place only to say something like that a couple months later - when you're the same person you always were. Either he's irrational or he's a dick. Neither is a good thing to be associated with, much less be in a relationship with.

      I think he will continue to erode your self-esteem and damage your psyche if this continues, and I've seen how hard it is for people who have gone through that to recover from it. So really give it some thought.

What Guys Said 2

  • You should be more concerned if he didn't take an interest in boobs.

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  • Sounds like a creep, honestly. I'd dump him.

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What Girls Said 4

  • He came home to you. Does it really matter now?

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  • If he doesn't care that it upsets you, and he won't delete the video out of respect, he's a dick.

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  • its just a video. Imagine if some guys where walking around bottom less and you saw penis swinging. Youd pick up that phone too.

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  • Out of respect for you, he should delete the videos.

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