How do I know if my boyfriend is gay?

To be honest, he's not my boyfriend, just a guy I'm seeing casually. He works out at the same gym where I'm a member. He has this incredible body, alpha type, ripped abs and very dark almost metallic skin. I notice that not only are the men in the gym jealous of his physical condition but that he kind of gets off on their attention. He studies other men's bodies just like they do him.
He's tons of fun, hilarious, generous, sexual tiger, and successful in business but I'm worried he could be bisexual. Are his interests in looking at built men simply a way to measure his own achievements or does he find the male figure sexually attractive? I've always heard that lots of gym rats are bi but I can't tell if my guy is or not. How can I figure this out without asking him - I don't think he'd be honest. I don't have a problem with homosexuality but I don't want the risk of STD's as lots of gay men can be pretty promiscuous.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Although some say checking out the bodies of people from his own sex can be normal for a straight man, I know from experience that this is not often the case. I am a gay man and have found out in most occasions that men checking out my body were also interested in me sexually.

    For men who identify as gay, that is not a problem. When I like a guy, I make it fairly obvious, and if he’s also interested, things often end in bed. The same could be true for bisexual men, as well.

    The situation is a little more complicated with men who identify as straight, as they verbally deny interest, while showing it visually. I have probably given blow-jobs to more straight men than gays, and some even fucked me while still claiming to be straight.

    I am afraid there is no easy way to find out his preference, other than asking him directly. I understand you don’t prefer that, but otherwise you could be playing a game too long, while it may end up negatively if that guy turns out fully gay like me.

    Although your concern about sleeping with gay/bisexual men could be valid in certain cases, be assured that not all gay men are reckless, even when they can be promiscuous. I have probably had sex with more than 40-50 guys, but I am still healthy as I have always practiced safe-sex. If your crush is negative for diseases and shows interest in you, then you may consider having sex with him. Asking proof of health is not impolite at all, in my opinion… It is your well-being that is at stake, after all!..

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What Guys Said 9

  • I think you'd have to ask him and it is concerning he wouldn't be honest... or you don't think he would be.

    Beyond that, I do not know... I've known a gay guy and I didn't know he was until someone told me. I could understand him checking out other guys for their physique, techniques, etc. and be straight.. I've done that so I assume others would. But I'm not in that league of condition.

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  • He sounds like an attention whore and very competitive. He maybe looking at other guys as a method in comparing himself. It's a method to give him more motivation

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  • He's not gay. Us fitness guys analyze countless make bodies, but have no desire to see their dick lol. It's the same as a basketball player watching game footage. The sport is your body.
    You should have no worries :)

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  • At the gym, just about every man is gay. Especially if you're at a powerlifting or bodybuilding gym. Guys will check out other guys' form and see where they can improve. Bench press leads to having a lot of balls in your face. I mean, they gym is a pretty gay place. As long as the balls don't touch and you're not sharing a shower it's completely normal and there's nothing to worry about. It's kind of like a painter admiring another painter's process and work; you wouldn't call that gay would you?

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  • No he's prolly not gay that's really not a way to judge a person. Get to know him first and then find out. Straight up ask him.

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  • Bring up you watching him fuck anothet guy or him free to fuck dudes then you'll know

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  • Thoughts @consultantisback?

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  • So he's tan?

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  • he's deffo gay

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What Girls Said 2

  • You really haven't given enough info. I think you should just ask him, casually, if he Ike's guys too.

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  • Ask around, people might talk

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