Why are dads so picky on who their daughters date?

I'm 20 years old and my dad puts his foot down on me dating a 36 year old man. I know that it is a 16 age difference. But what is the big deal we're both adults it is not like just because you date someone doesn't mean that you will marry or have kids with them. Why do they trip so much?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because your dad was once a horny young man and he knows how men think. It's hypocritical, but he wants to protect you from men like he used to be. A 36 year old dude (My age) who wants an immature (no offense) girl who's 20 years old and has no idea what she really wants out of life yet (no offense, again) is really only looking for sex, UNLESS he is so emotionally immature he relates to that age group.

    So no, I wouldn't want my daughter dating this guy. If you had a son you would be just as protective of him, too.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They don't want you to be hurt. If your dad is picky about who you date, that usually means they care. It may be annoying and I agree that they should back off since you're an adult, but they just don't want to see you get hurt by any man. Personally, I wouldn't want my daughters if I had any dating anyone more than five years older than them because I'd see it as they want a young trophy girlfriend and don't really care much about them, but I can't make their decision for them and they need to experience these sorts of things by themselves.

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What Guys Said 33

  • Uh, probably because your dad KNOWS what that guy is thinking!!!
    No Father wants to know his daughter is doing things that he did with other Father's Daughters!!!
    16 years is a GENERATION!! Of course he is going to be concerned!!
    Adding the 'doesn't mean that you will marry or have kids with them,' doesn't help a Father's perspective, AT ALL!! He hears: "Daddy, I'm going to fool around with this guy that is a lot older, and he will take advantage of me, but we aren't getting married, or having kids, so it is just raw sex, and for fun!"
    You need to remember that he sees you as that little girl, innocent, and just beaming, not as a sexual young woman!!

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  • Thats kind of the point. You want the best for your children, you don't want them to be in a relationship that goes no where, where the guy has no real interest beyond sex. You want the absolute best for them and nothing else so thats why he repsoneded the way he did.

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  • Dads just want the best for their daughters

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  • Because as fathers we never ever want our daughters to have sex. We also know that guys are pigs and what we think. Esp regarding young women.
    Since the only reason a 36 yr old would date a 20 yr old is for sex. So of course he doesn't want you to date him.
    the best formula to figure out the minimum age to date is
    Half your age plus 7

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  • how old is your dad? it just feels bad to a dad to see that I suspect. you are his kid... he wants you to date an idiot 20yr old boy not some man that is using you.

    at that age, you don't know that much and he figures he will use you.

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  • Probably because guys knkw how guys are, we are guys, we grew up with guys similar and different to ourselves, and we know which are the shitty ones. Sometimes with o ly one look we can gauge another guys intention about life and how he is going to treat other people including girls. I have never dated, and not a father but I could see myself looking at a kid and wanting him not to be involved with anyone I know

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  • It's not very "picky" if he doesn't want you to date a guy who's 16 years older and probably only wants sex from you...

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  • How old is your father? I mean, is this guy closer to his age or yours? Fathers tend to get a bit creeped out about stuff like that., My daughter dated a nice guy for a while who was exactly the same age difference between me and my daughter. I felt uneasy about it for about 5 minutes, but she had already been sexually active and was using protection, so I didn't see any point in worrying about it. Besides her husband, he treated her the best of all her lovers.

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    • My dad is 13 years older than the dude.

    • Yeah, there's the issue. If my daughter wasn't married and the guy treated her right, I wouldn't care how much older he was as long as she was safe and happy. When my wife (her mother) was 16, she slept with a guy in his 50's. It didn't seem to adversely affect her. Just keep an eye out for his intentions. And what are your intentions in this relationship? If he seems right for you, go for it. Do you also still live at home? If so, your father is likely holding that over your head, right?

  • Your dad isn't stupid. None of the possible outcomes is good from his point of view. Either you're taking this thing seriously which is kinda weird and will result in problems later or its just about sex and attention, why would your dad be happy about either of those?

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  • Because as a dad you know what guys are like and you do everything you can to protect your daughter from that. And to be honest your dad is right to not agree with you being with that guy. He is literally twice your age

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  • Whelp if its dating and not simply intercourse then that could become a problem as there are both good and bad things to come of it.

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  • We are driven to protect our kids. We can't really help it.

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  • You'll understand when your a parent.

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  • because they were your age before and know EXACTLY what goes through your date's mind ;) let me hint you in on a secret : A LOT OF THEM WANT SEX

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    • and the 16 years old age difference is... off putting... you don't see that everywhere and it is weird

  • Because they know how guys thinks

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  • because if you get pregnant by a loser he has to raise another kid.

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    • Why they gotta be a loser?

    • if a man doesn't stay with the mother of his child it makes both the women and the man a loser. automatically they failed at life. done deal the end.

    • also you asked a question and i answered and you asked a question again that was stupid and had nothing to do with anything. your dad should have 100% control over you because you are not very bright.

  • What @thetundrawolf said. Plus, he was probably learning how to drive when you were born. That and DWR (Danger Will Robinson... Her dad will kill you if / when he finds out). Which is pretty much the case since your dad put his foot down.

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  • They're grown to think women can't handle themselves and must be supervised 24/7, especially their own daughters. It's kinda sad.

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  • Oh let me guess, he has a "great personality"?
    ($$$$$$)

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  • Because you're dating out of your range, and so does he.

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  • Im guessing you live in his house huh.

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  • Problably he cares about his daughter. I know crazy , right!!

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  • Because every choice in dates you've ever made has always been terrible.

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  • Because dad's love their daughters more then anything in the world heck I wouldn't let my daughter a guy who treats her bad because I don't want to have to suffer with a guy like that

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  • If i had a daughter i would be obsessed about her. Nobody can touch my princess without my permission.

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  • Your jealous and controlling dad is afraid of your boyfriend being jealous and controlling.

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  • because, they want to help you get this right the first time.

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  • The real matter is why do old men keep taking my young woman. Dammit it's not fair!!!

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  • 16 years old... i mean maybe you like him but you gotta understand why he is worry...

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  • Omg how many questions am I gonna see of confused girls trying to see guys old enough to be their dad?

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What Girls Said 16

  • ... because they're protective and dont want their daughter winding up with some loser who could hurt her?
    i dont blame him either, that age gap is huge. be careful because his intentions may be messed up. i mean it could workout but just be careful and take it slow.

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  • Father's are protective. When you have a child of your own, you'd understand. You're father probably can read this guy like a book and you can't. It's a guy thing.

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  • He doesn't want to see you get hurt. And honestly? At your age, that big of an age gap... he's got good reason to be wary. If a guy who is closer to 40 than 30 is dating a girl who's barely in her 20s, it's rarely because he is just sooo taken by her personality... dude isn't dating you for your brain or personality, darling. Your dad knows that.

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  • He just wants to protect you. You're still only 20. Don't listen to most of the guys on here, I have dated older men on and off but you're 20 he just wants to protect you and he wants to know nobody is going to hurt his baby. My dad doesn't give a shit about who I date which doesn't cramp my style but it is nice to know he cares about you.

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  • You shouldn't date someone without the intent of marrying them. Yout dad is knows what's best for you. If he disapproves of this then he is saying something because he knows how some men are. He is just looking out for you.

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  • That is a pretty big age gap. How old is your dad? Probably closer to that guys age. I think some fathers realize there are guys out there that are like they were before they had a daughter lol. Maybe a little bit crazy or promiscuous with certain intentions and they don't want you to get hurt.

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  • Guys at that age aren't innocent

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  • Mine isn't. Mine seems to think every guy who dated me is some sort of hero/martir. LOL. :))

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  • That's how fathers are... trust me, mine told me to never get married until I am 40, which I hope is a joke.

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  • I think your dad doesn't want you dating someone who could have went to elementary school with him seems reasonable.

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  • Do not want their daughter to date a retarded person who won't be able to support their daughter in the future.

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  • because dad's always know how it is with other guys, and they won't let you get into trouble.

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  • lol, they are just protective.
    and omg I usually thought dating was with the intention of marriage.

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  • I wouldn't tell you not to but I certainly wouldn't approve if you were my kid.

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  • You're 20. It doesn't matter what he thinks.

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  • The bigger the age gap, generally the more likely to be weird power dynamics in the relationship rather than genuine affection.

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