How do I approach a white guy if I'm a black girl?

What I'm asking is... what do white guys look for in a black girl. Is it appearance or is it just personality. How am supposed to know for sure if the guy I like or think is attractive is interested in dating a black girl. How am I supposed to catch a white guy's attention if don't even know if he will ever look my way? Ugghhhhh I'm so frustrated I just need some feedback and advise. please help


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men are all the same. Doesn't matter what race they are. There's no racial difference. We are all human, you know. The only difference is culturally. The primary thing *all* males look for is appearance. We do not base attraction on the same things that women do. However, we are told that we are *supposed* to look at personality, so many males will say that is what they look for. But they don't understand the difference.

    For a woman, males can become more or less attractive depending on other traits like intelligence or father potential or strength, etc. etc. But females do not become more or less attractive to males based on those qualities. They remain attracted to them about the same as before. They might grow to love them more, but it doesn't change how attractive they appear to them. Suffice it to say: attractiveness is the most important quality for men. You can see that everywhere in society.

    Long story short--well, short-er--women have to be more cautious because they have less reproductive resources than men do: e. g. sperm and egg. So, women have to get the overall picture of a male's worth before they risk losing 9 months of pregnancy on a bad male, when they could have been with a good male.

    And, according to some dating app statistics, most races date within their own race. That doesn't mean they *won't* date outside of their race, however. To find out, you'll just have to talk with them and find out if they're attracted to black women or not. A lot might not be, but if you persevere, eventually you will find a guy who is. I've known a lot of white guys who were into black chicks, though typically in poorer areas.

    For U. S. stereotypes, black women are pretty hated on, generally. They're seen as too forward, loud, obnoxious, aggressive. So I would avoid those stereotypes and somehow prove that you are not like the hoodrats. Typically, it's the aggression and loudness that is unappealing, I think. Expressing masculine characteristics, whereas most men look for feminine characteristics.

    Now, of course not all black women are like that. Not at all. But there are a fair amount. The equivalent would be white rednecks, so you see anyone with a Southern accent, and wonder if they're a racist inbreeding, gun toting fuck, right? Easy enough to disprove that with time.

    Next, just do what you would do with any other guy. Maybe give your phone number or FB. Form an initial relationship by talking, then try to move it up into something

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    • I totally agree with and the reason I don't date my race is because their so judge menatal (ex. most people who attend my school are black so when a black guy approaches me and I nicely tell them I'm not interested they think I'm stuck up or too good to date them because of the way I talk or because I don't wear weave or really long fake nails and I'm not loud) some black girls tell me I don't have a boyfriend because I don't act like my "kind" which is really stupid if u asked me

    • Yeeeeeeah. I grew up in a fairly black area, so I know what you're talking about. It's like punishment for not being part of black solidarity, like "You're either with us or against us." Black people can be pretty racist towards black people, ironically. That solidarity works out great sometimes and not so great other times and really prevents progressive change for the better. Though, I think it is still based on culture; so, you could find a good deal of black guys--if that was the only reason you don't date them--who aren't "connected to the hive", so to speak.

      And yeah, I guess it's stupid. It's understandable, though, because black culture is kind of separate from American culture, even though they're melding over time. Pain and resentment from the unequal days is still ongoing, and MLKJ was only 60 years ago--one generation--ya know.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're over thinking this. I would imagine it's the same as you would get the attention of any other color man
    Men are men.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Just approach them the same way anyone would.

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  • Forget the black / white stuff. Guys are attracted to girls whether they're black or white for the same reasons. Partly looks , mostly personality.

    Most white guys are attracted to women black or white, but there is small percentage of white guys who are not attracted to black girls at all, just as there are many black women who are not attracted to white men. White guys are generally pretty nervous about being really violently rejected by black girls, so you're going to have to make the first move which means dealing with a lot of rejection.

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  • Colour, race or religion should not inhibit attraction. Its simply about taking that little keep and striking up a conversation and seeing if he's open to you. Try not to think about the race difference.
    Good Luck

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  • Same way as you would a black guy, or any other guy! I'm sure that would be how most guys feel.

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    • Well... see the thing is I'm not attracted to black guys so I wouldn't even know

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    • You're always welcome. Take care, stay safe!

    • ... and welcome to GAG! I hope you enjoy your stay, however short or however long!

  • Just be yourself and don't act ghetto. Not saying you do, but a lot of black girls do and that's a deal breaker to most white guys. Don't be
    loud and mouthy, that's a huge turn off. When you approach a white guy
    I'd say exude confidence. We like that.

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  • You'll just have to talk to him, see how the conversation goes. The sad fact is that he may be open to dating you or he may not :-(

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  • How does your skin color change anything as opposed to a white girl approaching him? Just approach him.

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  • I tend to say to start with hello and just go from there.

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  • I don't know why it's not the same as approaching any other man.

    They'll notice anything about you they can see: looks, clothes, personality, attitude.

    Good luck!

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  • Take color out of the equation

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  • light skin
    be skinny

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  • If you are interested in the guy, just approach him. Treat him like any guy you are interested in.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Just the same way as me, as a white girl would approach black man. Approach him and do not think about his skin colour. It doesn't really matters, he is a guy and you are girl. Do what you are supposed to do.
    Simple like that.

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  • All the white guys I know don't really like black girls. I seriously don't know how to help you. I guess just be yourself?

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  • Lol, just try and if he turns you down at least you tried, most girls (me) would never even approach a guy first so kudos for the bravery.

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  • Just approach him.

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  • Like you approach a black guys. What is this question seriously they are the same they are boys

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  • Don't think of it as black and white.
    Love yourself.
    And if he can't see your attention then to hell with him. He's not for you.

    Never beg for anyone;s attention.

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