I lives on a disability check. Is that a total dealbreaker for women?

I'm 24. My income is disability, food stamps and I work 15 hours a week as a cashier. I have a car, an apartment with room mates. I live light while I study part time in college. I want to work full time once I get my degree.

I'm on disability for autism spectrum and anxiety disorders. I'm not in a wheelchair or deformed. I have above average IQ. I don't have anger issues or anything. I'm shy and a little bit awkward, but my social skills have been improving. I don't do anything rude, weird or embarrassing in public.

I'm afraid to date. I've only had one sex partner. I'm afraid that a girl will like my looks and personality, but may view me as a manchild.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think at your age and the fact that you are going to school living on disability will not be an issue for some girls but the autism will be more of an issue.

    The older you get, the more that will flip. Living on disability will be really bad for you and autism will not be so bad, but it will still be bad for you.

    It always will be an issue for you. You will just need to find the right woman that appreciates a male's honesty over her feelings which unfortunately for you, will be very few women.

    I suggest you work on passing off as "normal" in social settings. I think the best way to do this is watch and observe a male you admire and mimic his behavior.

    With time, being successful and not ugly, makes a man a wanted commodity. The older we get, the more true this will get. Being able to pass as normal in social settings will help you not only with dating but in your career.

    Good luck to ya'.

    • yes, I've been working on that a lot. now, i practically fit right in and no one would ever think i had autism. but i also am shy, reclusive and have social anxiety. my past failings in social situations have taught me lessons but also yoked me into avoiding failure. funny thing is i had more girls eyeing me when i had worse social problems, because at least i put myself out there more.

    • I think you are doing the right thing then. I really do think your autism will be your biggest obstacle in dating and in life. The more you can "fit it" the better you will be.

      Good luck to ya'. :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude I have a cousin having Asperger syndrome. I know how you feel a little bit. I think women are not suitable for guys like you. I mean they want more asshole guys. At least, it is so in my cousin's case. Stay strong, don't try to change yourself for women. Life has many other things to make us happy.

    • You're basically telling him that no woman will ever be interested in him, when that's not the case.
      If you don't want to date, no problem, that's your choice, but stop going around thinking you know it all about what or who we want or how we think.

    • @Napoli it is a total deal breaker. I know how my cousin suffers and talks about his failure of talking with women. I just tried to warn him about not to fake as someone he wasn't.

    • i dont think its impossible. i just fear it'll be a turnoff to women im 24 and im more like a 17 year old.

What Girls Said 2

  • My brother is currently going through a very similar situation so I personally understand where you're coming from. But you're working towards your degree, you want to work full time etc.
    Work on your confidence and make yourself happy, don't worry about what women will think of you. There are sweet and lovely girls out there who won't care about any of that. They'll see you for who you really are and accept that :)
    So don't be afraid to date, go for it! You'll only know if you try.

  • Can you please explain to me why you behave "differently" for having autism? I've never met someone with autism before.

    • autism spectrum does affect numerous behaviors. autistic people tend to have a sensitivity to lights/sounds, a low tolerance for stress, severe difficulties in social interactions (not picking up on hints, cues, such). autistic people are often seen as quirky, different, weird. sometimes theyre bullied in school. sometimes they have a lack of common sense when it comes to friendships and relationships, and it hurts their relationships.

      i've really improved a lot on these problems over the years. i still have some ways to go. i think i can handle a relationship because i'm respectful, self-aware and a good lover overall. i just feel insecure because im behind and im afraid that most women won't want to date a man who is behind.

    • You're "behind"? If you're a functional human being, getting a girlfriend is possible.

What Guys Said 0

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