Should nice women be meaner or more arrogant towards men?


I've noticed something- im a really nice female- nice to guys, kind respectful etc. I also happen to be really hot or pretty. Guys don't seem to appreciate who i am at all and really just treat me badly or disrespect me. I've even dealt with guys who say they want someone who's more 'controlling' and im not that way at all. I believe in an equal partnership. Guys say they want a nice woman and someone who wants them but I can say that i can't find any guys who want that. Most guys treat me like dirt, are rude, disrespectful etc. Im kind pretty smart and down to earth- they don't care. It seems that cuz i am nice, they take advantage of that. A lot of my dates are nicer and friendlier to 'other women around' than to me. They treat me oddly, make me feel uncomfortable, do rude or stupid things to me, and then if i even slightly object in the most polite way, they get offended and ditch me.

Most guys will do the rudest things to me, or even get in my space, act intrusive, one even tried to sabotage a bowling game we had last night b/c I was about to beat him. Some are nicer to women around- and with me aren't friendly at all and they like to treat me like somethings wrong with me. It feels like b/c im nice to men, they feel they have the upper hand and use my kindness to abuse me. Should women in this case be b*tchier meaner or act more arrogant towards guys? It seems no matter how I act, most guys are rude to me. One guy recently- 1st 2 weeks was praising me, telling me how amazing I am, but kept standing me up too. If i got upset, he threatened to stop talking to me. Finally, he slowly began to stop talking to me, and tried to control the situation. How can someone turn this around... be more assertive? act differently?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • How do you act when they make you feel uncomfortable or act in a disrespectful way towards you? It sounds to me like you just put up with too much shit.

    For example the guy standing you up a few times, you're trying to turn that around and you're worried that he'll stop talking to you - why? It should be the other way around, he should be worried about still being able to talk to you after that.

    It isn't that you need to be arrogant or mean, but you need to have boundaries and make sure people respect them, and if they don't, you cut them off, you don't worry about them leaving after being assholes towards you. That's your problem.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't be nice to everyone. Every one does not deserve your kindness. This is a harsh world out there and everyone doesn't have the same heart as you. Not everyone follows the golden rule of DO UNTO OTHERS. Some guys and girls will look at you like easy prey and think they can get over on you.

    Learn to be more outspoken and assertive. Once you notice that someone is being disrespectful to you check their ass right then and there. If someone "threatens" to stop talking to you? So what? Fuck them. if they want to exit your life then open the door and tell them to walk.

    As long as you go through life being overly nice and doormattish you will constantly get bullied and tried. It's 2016 most guys do not like nice girls. Nice sweet women get abused and mistreated the most. Toughen up and learn when to put on that bitch hat. Save your soft side for a good man once he's earned it, NOT most guys you dont really know.

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What Guys Said 10

  • No. You are jist perfect, you know that?
    But somehow you seem to attract a lot of jerks. Lile some nice guys aytract all the bitches. You just need to find a man who appreciates and complements your femininity. they are out there. Big kiss for you :-*

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  • I don't know. What kind of idiots you are dealing with. But my girl who is hot better be sweet kind and caring. Nothing beautiful than being beautiful both in and outside.

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    • that's good to know... some guys want a nice girl

    • Can't say much about the other guys. But I like nice girls

  • You sound like a wonderful person. Don't change, sadly there are a lot of unpleasant people out there. Give it time and I'm sure you will find a person that is right for you

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  • Don't let them change you but I do think you shood stick up for yourself if you feel like you are getting bullied a bit.

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  • In relationships, always be who you are.

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  • the idea that guys will only respect you when you are mean is not true. quite the opposite i would say

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  • You've met some asshats, no doubt. I'd say keep being yourself
    and nice guys will gravitate toward you.

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  • Be yourself. Becoming a douchebag will leave you with cobwebs on ur pussy so be nice be polite and have manners always.

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  • Nice women to be more naughty and live life

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  • The women I know would stab me in my sleep if I treated them like that.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Don't stop being kind but stop putting up with it. As soon a guy shows disrespectful traits or an attitude... walk away.
    No one is forcing you to date rude men.
    There are plenty of men like this but not all of them are. Some just have the morals and personality to treat everyone with the respect they deserve.
    These are the people you should allow in your life!

    But please remember, just because you are nice to someone.. that doesn't give you the right to expect anything from them. Getting mad at someone you are dating is fruitless and will only cause negativity towards you. You don't need anyone making you feel insecure.
    As long as you keep your standard up, you will rarely have fights with a man that is aware of what you want and what it takes to keep you in his life.

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    • Also, get to know someone first before you consider dating them. And allow them to get to know you. Communication <3

  • I'm nice to most people , but I treat people how they treat me. If a person is disrespectful towards me then I show zero respect towards them too. My personality is who I am , but my attitude depends on how others behave towards me. People treat you how they perceive you to be. Change their perception of you and they'll treat you differently

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  • "As we gain confidence in ourselves, red flags are no longer red flags. They are dealbreakers." - so true

    Don't be a bitch to someone who didn't deserve it, but the moment they mistreat you, sure. Let your bitchiness out because you are allowed to. Most people take other people for granted and they don't even care. They are not even aware of it. That's why they get offended when confronted. Fuck them, just walk away. You can't give a chance to someone who isn't asking for it.

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  • While I have encountered assholes, I've also encountered incredible men including my boyfriend who is perfect and kind. You can't just stop being kind because of the experiences you've had. If you've never ever encountered a nice guy then you are DEFINITELY going for the wrong type and have ignored the real nice guys.

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  • You don't have to be mean, you just have to have balls. And by that I mean don't take people's shit. That doesn't require being an asshole: it requires you laying down the law and not faltering. If that requires a fuck you? That's up to you, but I tend to laugh in the face of rude people and tell them they're not worth the energy.

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  • Maybe it's not you. It's that the guys you're going out with are simply a bunch of immature assholes. There are good men out there, you just need to find one.

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  • Sadly there are many unpleasant people out there but be yourself and you will find the nice ones one day :)

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  • You must be meeting the wrong guys who take advantage. I don't know too many guys who will take a beautiful bitch over a beautiful nice girl. Either that, or you aren't as nice as you think you are. I am an ugly woman who is really shy and I've been told that I am nice. Guys usually go out of their way to be nice to me. I've only met a few who have taken advantage of me. If guys will be nice to an ugly woman, they'll be nicer to a pretty woman.

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