Should I lean back and create space for him to court me?

In high school I use to have a big crush on a guy. We got in contact again after almost 9 years. We've been talking for about 3 months now going on 4 months. I told him that I like him and he told me that he likes me too but how do you know if that's true? I'm having a hard time going with the flow and balancing my emotions. We have hung out a few times and we've had sex 3 times. I spent the night at his house 2 times. We haven't went on a classic date yet like to a restaurant or event together. Lately I've been overthinking things. I often wonder if I'm texting too much. I'm a talkative person if I like you. And talking to him about anything brings me joy and relaxes me. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm sending too many messages and I worry that when he doesn't reply something is wrong. I keep thinking that I'm talking too much. I told him one time that I apologize for texting so much and that I don't mean to be bothersome. He told me that it was ok and that I don't bother him, he just doesn't text a whole lot. He normally replies to me. But there has been a occasion where I didn't hear from him for 4 days. I guess I have been having anxiety about messing things up between us. I really want to continue to get to know him. I don't want to do or say the wrong thing. I've also been a little afraid of my own emotions too. I feel like I'm very slowly but surely falling for him and I'm not 100% sure if he likes me. This is a scary feeling for me. I guess I'm bad at picking up clues or hints. I'm really scared of having my heart broken again. I feel like I have put myself out there and now I'm vulnerable. Especially after having sex with him my feelings started to grow and everyday they grow a little tiny bit more. Sometimes I feel like I'm being the aggressor and not letting him fully court me. I don't know all the rules of dating. Should I stop texting him for a little while and see how long it takes him to reach out to me? And what are some tips to let him lead?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You know if you are serious about this hear what i tell you:
    1-love is mutual , so ask him if he feels the same.
    2-you can feel the emotions between you , just open your eyes and be honest with yourself. i know you want him but there is no point in that if he doesn't want you as much.
    3-If you realized that he is not so serious then you break up and know that he didn't deserve you because he didn't love you.
    4- maybe he feels the same as you and after you clarify things between you two things get better.
    5-remember not to fall for someone who doesn't fall for you and never let anyone to take advantage of you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You are the stereotypical chick.
    First mistake, you slept with him before knowing how he felt about you & was this leading to a relationship or friends with benefits. Casual sex is the trend these days.

    Now your driving yourself crazy over analyzing everything & apologizing for over texting, which was your second mistake, because you've shown him your crazy side now.

    Third mistake, you caught feelings without any foundation to build those feelings on. You need to pinpoint why you feel this way about him & where these feelings are coming from.

    Best thing for you to do is to fall back & let him contact you. The damage is already done. If he does contact you, which will probably be for sex, you need to ask him (before sleeping with him again) some real adult questions like "Do you want a relationship or is this just for fun".

    A guy will never commit to anything if you don't require him to. Why by the cow when you're already getting the milk for free?

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