Does becoming friends with a girl ever work?

Let's say I see a girl I like, well logic tells me to become friends with her, but then I usually end up as just a friend.

So wtf? It's not like I can just go up to a girl and say 'Hey I thought you were cute, and want to know if you want to hang out sometime' because that would just be ignored


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Pretty sure that 'Hey, I thought you were cute and want to know if you want to hang out' would work, dude. It's nice, it's polite, it's outgoing, it gives promise of something happening - it works pretty well, I think you should give it a go! :) Either way, yeah, sometimes being friends does work at becoming a relationship. My boyfriend and I were super close friends for four years and then got together.

    I guess the idea is that you should want to be her friend, don't go into it with ulterior motives and the aim of dating. Be open to it but don't like... Have it be your only objective, y'know? Genuinely form a friendship and then perhaps advance it to a relationship rather than use the friendship as a stepping stool to the relationship... This probably doesn't make any sense at all :P

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You definitely don't want to friend zone yourself. If you're attracted to her, either date or don't talk, that's my mentality anyways.

    And your comment: 'Hey I thought you were cute, and want to know if you want to hang out sometime'

    .. honestly, that's not a bad approach dude! haha fr, if thinks your hot you're in.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I have 3 types of guy friends:
    Ones that are older and wiser than me by at least a couple years and were never attracted to me. They treated me cordially and we became friends.
    Dudes I met while they were in a good relationship with someone else. They may or may not still be dating her, but while he may think I'm hot we have been friends too long and it would be weird.
    Last, I have the guy friends that either secretly liked me or flat out loved and pursued me for sometimes 2 years or more. They either still secretly sorta like me or got over me and appreciate me as a best friend.
    This is my situation with guy friends who are truly my friends only and we actually hang out.

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  • If you become her friend then you should be her friend and don't try to get more of it. There's no such thing as "just a friend".

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  • that actually wouldn't be ignored most of the time. Depends on the girl. and if you dont want to take the risk, become her friend but keep if flirtatious. Flirt innocently, and tease her every once in a while, and that would hopefully keep her from friendzoning you.

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    • Lol I don't know I mean I haven't tried it but it doesn't seem like it would be appreciated

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    • Even with a girl I just met?

    • No i mean after you become friends, or hanging out at least once.

  • Just from personal experience, when you become friends with her you usually get friend zoned...

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  • It's possible.

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  • You can actually do that. I wouldn't mind being asked like that.

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  • I've dated guys that were my friends first. We hung out in the same circles and saw each other a lot, so I grew more attracted to him.

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What Guys Said 11

  • it works but you need to not put yourself in a spot to be stuck as a friend. From Experience, girls minds are made up on if they want to date you or not early on , (IF SINGLE) unless something changes in their lifestyle or in you.

    in this method most girls end up friendzoning themselves. as they tell you they want to just be friends then do a switch up and by then you probably got past the feelings for her.

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  • Same.
    But my parents were friends early on, for quite a while actually, and well, now they're my parents and they have a great marriage.

    The only problem is:
    -A girl CAN be friends with guys she isn't physically attracted to, but this happens less often with guys I would say

    -A girl has multiple guy friends so probably just wants to "choose" one or none. On the other hand, guys with multiple female friends might just date whichever wants to.

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  • Being a friend in its own isn't something that stops the relation from progressing further than friendship. Relationships that start from zero to sex are just as likely to fall apart in a split-second. You "just" need mutual attraction, and no dealbreaker behavior on either side.

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  • No. It gets you Friendzoned, and that's not somewhere you want to be. If you sense she's Friendzoning you, cut her out of your life immediately.

    Walking up and asking if she wants to hang out is the only way to fly. Trying the friend angle will only lead to frustration and lack of results. Don't be a chump, that shit never works.

    Women aren't capable of friendship anyway, so why would you want to even attempt to be friends with them?

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  • Most of my friends are girls.

    Your problem is that you don't want to be her friend, you want to be her boyfriend. You don't care if your friends are cute.

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  • yes be charming, friendly, a good time, reliable, and she'll start to trust you gradually. eventually she'll want to escape the friend zone. =) good luck

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  • Hey. I have to disagree with you.
    If you be confident and say that in a good circumstance it will work.

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  • you kno you'd be ignored because you tried that before?

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  • the best policy is to stay the f**k away from women as much as possible... only interact with them if its required professionally else its best to stay as far as you can from them... almost no woman is capable of being a good friend they are all very back stabbing... do yourself a favor and just focus on work and career

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  • You're not escalating. Be her friend and be a little sexual flirty and then when the relationship gets into a good place, ask her if she is open to having sex.

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  • Commonly known as the friend zone.. Correct?

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