I have an apartment, a career (not job), take care of myself, my own car, but it's just I have no one to share it with. And at my age (26), I feel like I'm failing. Do guys even find independence attractive? I'm not a feminist and while I know I don't need a man, I really want one. My friends are married or engaged and having kids and I'm just over here chilling with my dog playing PS3 on the weekend and eating pizza. The most annoying part about it is that I know some of my friends are not good girlfriends. They play games. A lot. I mean, A LOT. As in, they message me and ask how to 'test' their boyfriend/husband or complain about all the wrong things their boyfriends do and don't do, but what actually discuss it with the boyfriend person. They don't compliment their boyfriend/husband or buy him anything. They just... are. They do nothing except exist. Is that what guys like? I go to bookstores and the gym and library and coffee shops and what have you, so I don't just stay in and do nothing, but I feel like a failure. My outlook on life looks extremely lonely. What am I doing wrong?
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I read your post and lots of the comments and conversations.
I think your success has been your priority. This time, switch and make relationships your priority. I'm sure if you can plan and perform around your job/education, you can do the same for a relationship. It's the exact same dynamics, only with different raw material.
1- come on, post a picture for us in your most becoming outfit, but blur out your face so we can just get an idea about your figure. Workout clothes are the best. I'm not saying looks are 100%, it is a factor, but it is a very flexible one. but I'm really curious with all of your descriptions, and I want to know what we are working with. Please note: you can be the most attractive girl on the planet, but if like they said in the old days you are not "out", you will never meet a soul, good or bad
2- you seem already emotionally satisfied with your pet, games, and job. And in reality those things are very absorbing. So if you are not interested or to some extent hungry for human contact, naturally you will not be sending out the right signal for people's radars. You are hiding from the world in your own private comfort zone. So you will hardly attract anyone.
3- are you a virgin? If you are, it's likely that you probably feel wrong and negative about sex, and that mindset subconsciously makes you push guys away because they are potential sex material.
4- considering that you have most of your ducks in a row at the age when most people aren't half as successful as you, it is likely that you are a perfectionist, and you either don't know that relationships are messy things, or you subconsciously run in the opposite direction when things begin to look like they might get out of control.
5- post a poll on this website and ask about guys' opinion on dating black girls. I would love to see the results so if you could post the link as an update here, it would be nice. You could later post a poll with the faceless picture I mentioned above.
6- don't ever make the mistake that if you are the perfect human being, that guys will be naturally attracted to you. It doesn't work that way for a few reasons:
A- there are other girls out there, hence lots of competition, and plenty of them utilize pretty unfair manipulative techniques that actually work on guys, because all of them are shallow (as some of the other opinion owners have also mentioned), and if given the choice...1
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