My 53 year old lover won't date his 23 year old beauty queen?

Ok I think I've told you guys about this guy but here it goes. Lovers since November, really care for each other and love /like each other a lot. But! won't really date me! Now i can kind of get an idea for the reason why, but i keep thinking that its about me alone. Id like to hear your opinion :)(no mean comments, ok well at least sugar coat them)

Updates:
Okay I;m going to fix what I said earlier. He acknowledges our sugar relationship but says that he's way too old for me to get serious

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys simply have commitment issues. A big age gap doesn't mean that those issues go away. For people able to deal with a large age gap, the gap itself doesn't make one more or less likely to actually 'date' the person. I have had partners with a big age gap that I have been happy to date, and I have had partners with a big age gap that I would sleep with, and enjoyed spending time with, but wouldn't actually date.

    So it could be that he is really happy being your lover, but flat out isn't interested in actually dating. That would be the most simple, straight-forward answer, and also the most likely. A guy that is enjoying what he is getting but not interested in more can get very creative in what kinds of excuses he comes up with that will keep things exactly the way the are.

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    • I really liked your answer

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    • No, it wouldn't be a 'fault' thing. He is happy the way things are and doesn't want them to change. He likes the current dynamic. He won't date you simply because he doesn't want that kind of relationship with you right now. That's not the dynamic he is looking for.

    • You right. Plus he got divorced in January

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he just doesn't want to commit because he knows your young and he knows that there's younger men who could probably keep up with you more than he could. Doesn't want to give you false hope

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    • @Gentlaman no one asked you to comment. Shut up

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    • @Gentlaman ARE YOU DUMB. girls have probably an easier chance at getting sex than guys. So unless you live under a rock which you probably do get your facts straight, and keep your nasty troll comments to yourself, she's looking for actual advise and here you come out of left field. you have so much hate, its disgusting.

    • oh yeah nice sleeping with a 14 year old last month you pedo.

What Guys Said 11

  • I don't get people's reaction on here. Why do they care about the age gap, it's not even their own relationship! You are 23yo for fuck's sake, you are old enough to know what you want in life. Now, to answer your question. It is obvious to me that he does not have deep feelings for you. He likes the relationship as it is right now but is not ready to go further and might never be. He wants sex from a 23yo in exchange for sugar...

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  • 53 and 23 that's a whole life time difference...
    Seriously? People nowadays smh

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  • I hope women like you still exist when I'm 53 lol. BRB 53 tony still slaying HBBs in their 20s

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  • My sister dated someone 20 years older than her. Guess what? It didn't end well. 30 years is a big age difference. He was probably using you the whole time.

    He won't date you? He's not into you then. You're not lovers anymore if he won't date you. Move on.

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    • I kind of misspoke he's a client of mine

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    • @DrGtheMD sugar baby

    • That brings up an entire different question and I apologize. I don't think you have the same feelings that you a 53-year-old lover possesses. I'm sorry to say that I believe a part of him, "used" you while you develop feelings for the guy. He used you as a crutch, an emotional crutch and he probably still is. Of course he still wants to see you because he still needs that crutch. You can do better. I don't know you then why do I say that? Because you've learned a lot even though you're still young and you learn something about yourself. That is, even having a sugar daddy, you still are human beings who developed feelings. Specific feelings for a guy even though the relationship might be questionable. That tells me something about you. You've got a good heart. Pursuing him is going to allow that heart to be broken so get out while you still can

  • Lol are you kidding me? 53 and 23? People are unbelievable nowadays

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  • Are you crazy girl?
    53 and 23..
    Grandfather and Granddaughter

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  • how can we know if you dont provide some context?

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  • I'd date you in a heartbeat ! And I'm 64. In the US it's rare to see an age gap relationship of that range. I'm all in favor of them. I cannot imagine why he won't date you. Like we say in Texas, "He just ain't right !" I wouldn't hang around forever. You deserve a happy love life. by the way, my girlfiend just turned 21.
    And we're very happy. Age gap relationships (contrary to what bitter feminazis say) can work. by the way she's from Colombia. Down there it's not a big deal..

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  • He is entirely correct doesn't want to be a sugar daddy and you need counseling. He is way too old for you what's wrong with you? You like his money? The point is no matter what he's too old for you and there is something wrong with you at age 23 would want a 53-year-old guy

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  • " lover won't date"
    HUH?

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  • This is a joke right?

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What Girls Said 8

  • I guess the problem lies with him. He is self conscious but I dont understand why this is even an issue because you guys are already intimate...

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  • Cuz you are too young for him. it's a good thing. It shows that he has respect for u and for himself. Any other pervy man would have taken advantage of the situation. He is a good man and u will soon get bored of him, u will want a younger guy and he very much knows this. So it's time to let him go.

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  • I'm sorry, but I think he's right for not wanting to date you. 23 and 53, that's a big age gap.

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  • what type of relationship do you have with him?

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  • The age difference isn't a big deal to me, so don't worry about that. I do need more context though, have you asked him his reasons? Are you guys having sex? I just need more info

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    • yes we are having sex and he was like " what are you going to do ten years from now when i'm a lot older?" . he says he loves me and he treats me really well as well

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    • Redhead 401 😚😚😚the new look.. But the pale confused blond was cute and appealing too.

    • @Nik1hil haha thank you :) I'm still pale and confused though!

  • Ewww how can you have sex with someone that old

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  • what do you mean you love each other but he won't date you?

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    • He says im young for him

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    • what he says he has a point but it seem like an excuse in that case because you have sex. I think you can understand yourself that any man who would be there for the sex and make excuses for all the rest is not worthy

    • If you ask me you've already skipped the dating completely by having sex. Unless by "date" you simply mean making your relationship official? With that age gape I wonder how much you two really have in common, interests etc. Sure you like each other and sex is good obviously but what about the rest of the relationship? Do you have the same interests and like to do the same things? This may be why he doesn't want to "date"? Or he's happy just the way things are, a friends with benefits type relationship.

  • Self esteem. You need that.

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