Would you mind if a guy you are exclusively dating had a female friend that often sleeps over at his place?

I am just so uncomfortable with it, I don't know why. He tells me stuff about her and now he wants me to meet her, but I'm not sure if I want to even continue this thing. I saw some of her IG selfies in his bed wearing only his shirt and I just don't believe him I think he's sleeping with her. He told me she doesn't have many friends and that she comes over when her mom's boyfriend comes over their place because they live in a one room apartment. He swears he never touched her. Besides that he treats me good our relationship is good.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would understand if my girlfriend was bothered by this. It doesn't matter if he has touched her or not. He has to be mature about this and understand where you are coming from. Now, I believe him mainly because I have female friends who sleep over all the time and I have never EVER touched 'em or even thought about them sexually. However, if I was dating and my girlfriend was bothered by this, I have to make a choice.. Either end the relationship, or stop letting those girls sleep over.

    You feel how you feel and you should expect your partner to be considerate to your feelings. He can call it whatever he wants, jealousy, insecurity, inflexibility, or anything else. That doesn't change the fact that it is bothering you and something has to happen here.

    I think you are doing the right thing communicating your thoughts with him. I hope the situation gets resolved soon. Good luck. : )

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... would I mind? Of course I would. It wouldn't matter to me if he says they're not sleeping together, or that he's permitting her to spend the night plus wear his shirts, and post pictures of that on IG, because of one reason or another. I'd tell him that's neither mine nor his concern. That's by far crossing over the line over what's acceptable when you're in a relationship.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I will reverse the genders here, because I am a straight male.

    I would be very disappointed with her, and would likely consider breaking up.

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  • I don't know if the roles were reversed i wouldn't be ok with it. You can't MAKE him do anything, you can't ask him to kick her out. I don't know how you ever made it after finding this out. I wouldn't be ok with it.

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  • Let's assume that they don't do anything. Appearances are everything. If he's showing his dick, it means he wants her to ride it, if she flashes her boobs, she wants him to motorboat it, if she is wearing his clothes, she wants him inside her. Now, what's this about exclusively dating?

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  • That sounds very very strange. In his bed with his shirt?
    What does he say about her? Does he talk about her like some cool friend, or more like a flirt? How often does it happen?

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    • He talks about her as just a friend, often complaining how lazy she is and how he doesn't even like her that much. It happens like few times in a month.

    • I assume you don't want to break things of because you "think" he might be cheating. Chances are he is, but if I were you I would need some proof to make the decision. Am I right?
      If I were in your shoes, I would confront him. Really confront him about it, very seriously. See how he reacts. And also, meet the girl. That way you can get a feel for how they act around each other. I know it's scary, because you might find something that will make you sad, but you would rather want the truth and not live in a lie, right?
      Good luck to you.

  • That's bullshit! I would not allow that!

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  • You are very na├»ve

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  • That's not good
    That's not good at all

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  • i wouldn't like it if my girlfriend (im single) did that

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What Girls Said 11

  • No I wouldn't be okay with it. I'd dump his ass. I have boundaries within a relationship and that would be crossing one. Trust is not necessarily the issue. That's crossing a boundary within a relationship. Plus, it's lack of disrespect towards you.

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  • I wouldn’t date a guy who frequently has a girl sleepover. I’m not going to risk being put in a position where I’m stabbed in the back because a guy doesn’t want to practice basic tact, consideration, and respect for who he’s dating. The whole situation is shady. I’m only interested in real people and real feelings, not cleaning up shady messes. Pass.

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  • You trust him or you don't, that's one issue. Secondly, if he knows it makes you uncomfortable, then he should stop allowing her to stay there out of respect to you and show his loyalty.

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  • There's obviously more to it. We don't just have slumber parties with the opposite sex all the time and not do things.

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  • The selfies are what throws it off. Personally, I'd normally see it as just a really close friend. But that seems like it's something more.

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  • If you believe that I have an oceanfront property to sell you in Kansas.

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  • Nope, not at all. My now Husband used to sleep over his friends (who were girls - 2 of them) houses (who I knew liked him and who he used to like) for the first month or 2 we were together. And they would sleep over his house to but it would usually be more people then just him and either girl when they did. They'd sleep in the same bed too. Never bothered me.

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  • Yea... She's not just a friend. Call his bluff and say you wanna meet her.

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  • Yes I would mind.

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  • Seriously doesn't look good. That is not respectfully AT ALL in your relationship and he and her should know that. They are havin sex...

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    • What captions does she post I the pictures with just his shirt on in his bed?

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    • Yeah I know it's fishy to me as well and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna dump him. Even if he tells me she will stop coming over, it's kinda too late I already don't trust him. I had enough boy drama already I just want something easy, comfortable and trustworthy. Thanks for opinion by the way. :)

    • Welcome :)

  • he's lying to you... that's creepy... and yes he's sleeping or doing things with her.. she's in his bed geez...

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