- Not weirdVote A
- Fucking weirdVote B
Most Helpful Guy
I personally don't think that age matter has to matter. It can though. It really depends on the two people. He may be a really great guy that you're attracted to and get along with well. If that's true, I don't see how dating him would be weird then. If you are worried what society may think, there's a good chance they wouldn't know both of your ages unless you told them. You can of course date a guy the same age as you, 5 years older or younger and you may or may not be a good match either. But again, if he's "really great guy that you're attracted to and get along with well" I don't think the age difference has to matter.
Some may proclaim stereotypes like he only wants you for you looks or because he can control you or whatever other negative stereotype. If he doesn't control you or treat you bad or whatever else, it clearly doesn't apply though. Also, to suggest a person wants another person partially for their looks seems obvious to me so I don't really understand that logic.2
Most Helpful Girl
If the 18-year-old wants a serious relationship that's headed toward marriage? Not weird at all.
I know hundreds and hundreds of married couples, mb even a thousand. In the VAST majority of the best-functioning couples -- where "best-functioning" includes sexuality, logistics, emotional compatibility, finances, and just big life decisions in general -- the husband is 5 to 12 years older than the wife.
Like, at least 97 percent of the best-functioning couples.
There's also more than just my anecdotal experience to back this up:
(If you see the more recent studies that purport to show that same-age marriages are most stable, a further look shows that those are BS... because they removed the variable of *which spouse is older*! So, in other words, those studies are lumping marriages in which the wife is 7 years YOUNGER in along with marriages in which the wife is 7 years OLDER. Lol... Nice experimental design, guys.)
In any case, there are 2 easy reasons to explain this.
Our fertility starts declining in our mid-20's, and, if we haven't given birth yet, starts to fall off a cliff around age 30. (Giving birth extends the fertility clock, so to speak.)
If the guy is older, then it's much more likely that he'll be ready -- psychologically, financially, and leadership-wise -- for parenthood at around the same time as his wife is still fertile.
MALE LEADERSHIP / PROTECTIVE VIBE:
Let's face it, that ^^ is what JUST ABOUT EVERY woman wants in a husband. It takes different forms from woman to woman... but... yeah.
Can a younger man -- or even a man of the same age -- exert credible leadership? Can he be the legitimate head of the household, in the spiritual sense (not necessarily money, which is mostly not relevant here)?
There some guys who can step up to that, but, others can't.
And, on the other side, only some women are ready to accept the headship/leadership -- or even partnership -- of a guy who's younger than them.
With an older guy, on the other hand, that vibe runs strong indeed.
Those are the big 2 reasons.
And a 12-year gap is not SO big that you'll have to slow yr stride because he gets old while you're still young, either.
For women who also think a man should be a financial provider (and for *men* who think that, hah -- I'm always surprised to learn there are just as many men with this opinion as women)... that's another reason. And a BIG one, too.1