Confessed to my best friend that I like her, she won't reject me? She doesn't want a relationship for now?

I'm 20 and she's 18

I dont like giving lengthy back storys, so im just gonna list some detailed points in no particular order

-2 months ago she got out of her first serious relationship of 2 years. I've been friends with her for about a year now and we are BEST friends. and i had no romantic thoughts until like 2 weeks ago
-told her i liked her, she said "idk, not tryna do stuff right now since i just broke up and still thinking about it"
-we hung out like week after that, both of us got drunk and made out. asked her if she was cool with it and if she regrets it and she said "nah, i dont regret shit"
-we were talking one time about some drama between her and her friend of 12 years. i said to her "i know you're not gonna stop talking to her" and she replied "yeah you're right, i know me and her will always be friends. just like you and i. i know we'll always be friends, im not saying we'd never date or anything im just saying no matter what we'll always keep in touch"
-everytime i ask her about dating or anything similar, she always replies "i dont know"
-yesterday i hung with her and asked her up front "Listen please be honest, i promise things will not change. do you just not like me like that?" and she said "its not that at all. i just can't commit right now"

My main problem: I respect her life style, being tied down for 2 years definitely sucks and now she wants to be free and do whatever, but its hard to be JUST her hook up buddy/friend while she does it with whoever else she feels like (she's bi too). i'm actually debating telling her i can't hang with her because it's too hard to handle seeing her do stuff with whoever (and possibly end up dating someone else), but she's my best friend and i can't imagine life without her. also because she keeps NOT rejecting me so im not sure to keep hanging with her or not.

  • Cut her off
    17% (1)33% (1)22% (2)Vote
  • Stay friends
    83% (5)0% (0)56% (5)Vote
  • other (post what)
    0% (0)67% (2)22% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


What Girls Said 1

  • That's tough. I don't know how other girls are but if I decide to be friends with a guy it 99% of the time means that I'm never going to see him any other way.

    Right now it seems like she values your friendship but just doesn't want to date anyone as she just got out of a relationship and maybe the breakup was hard.

    You're being a bit selfish. Despite that, i think it's good that you made your feelings known because it opens the door for the possibility of something in the future. Right now though, practice patience. The worst thing you can do is be pushy and insecure about it. That will do nothing more than push her away

    • im not offended, i just want to ask how im being selfish?

    • Show All
    • and what are you implying by give it time? that things will change based off everything i listed?

    • I don't think you should tell her you can't talk to her. You'll offend her and she'll think you're being childish. Rather, when she asks to hang out maybe say you're busy more often than not.

      As far as things changing in the future... they may or may not. That's life.

What Guys Said 1

  • You are spending WAY too much time trying to talk to her and get her to commit to the idea of dating and that almost guarantees that you will meet resistance. Instead, just start suggesting that you do some things together that are like dates. Go out to dinner, go to a movie, go to the beach, invite her to share those things with you without ever referring to it as a date.

    If she has the potential to develop feelings for you, it will happen. . . unless you ask her to commit to the idea of dating, and then she will be defensive about it.

    However, recognize the great possibility that you will be a rebound relationship for her and it will not work long term. Don't develop expectations in advance of what actually happens in your relationship or you will set yourself up for a crushed heart.