Where would you find someone you could possibly date?

I'm a sophomore in college and I've never gotten a girlfriend through means of meeting in "real life" every girlfriend I've had i met online, and it usually turned out fairly well, but women i meet throughout my days are cold, shut off and basically saying "don't bother because I'm not interested" so how in the hell am I supposed to befriend one of these women then get her to go on a date with me if I have to completely hold up any conversation and inniate contact (which is usually ignored). I'm a really shy guy with depression and a anxiety disorder so I'm not the most confident person. And I don't want to be. Confidence IS NOT the most important factor here. So I'll ask you, where could I find someone (I don't have time for clubs so that's out)? What is the best way to approach?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • online or singles group at church

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    • Singles group at church? That's a thing?

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    • maybe even try an anxiety or depression support group, I'm not even kidding I've been to many of those. though they might have a policy against dating until it's over but it could be worth a try Lool

    • I don't think there are any of those support groups around here.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You go to college. There are girls in your classes. You talk to them. If you think it's difficult being a college student when you get out it's even more difficult. You meet girls in your classes and you talk to them. And you talk to them about the school work and that starts the conversation.
    And if you really have depression and anxiety you need a therapist and someone who can prescribe medication for you. You don't accept your diagnosis and do nothing about it. If you shoot back at me saying you see a therapist and that discounts everything I said, sorry that's why you stay where you are. You are not really looking for a place you are looking for a place in your mind

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    • Actually I'm already on medication so that's not a problem. But with the classes, I haven't really had any luck speaking to women there. They just act very uninterested and have no desire to have a conversation. This may make me sound shallow, but I only talk to specific women in my class that look like someone i am attracted to, and that has been very few and far between since so many of the women at my college are not physically fit and honestly very over weight.

    • Congratulations – you have effectively discounted everything that I said. You have what I call, "the yes but..." syndrome. I'm old so I can only use the Beatles as an example. Do you know why they were fabulous? They went to Hamburg Germany and played together for 10,000 hours. Practice practice. One of the greatest baseball pictures ever was Sandy Koufax. He was terrible when he first entered the majors – practice practice. I don't care if you have to speak with one eye green Martians for the next year – practice practice. By discounting all women at your college except the ones that look like hot stuff you are limiting your practice practice. You get my drift? You are looking for reasons not to practice.

What Girls Said 8

  • Every guy who's approached me since I graduated high school has done so either saying they recognized me from the gym or they approached me at the gym. There were two exceptions, but both were friends first, otherwise they were all from the gym. I was even approached by another woman there who thought I was hitting on her when I corrected her form while she was squatting.
    Go to the gym. Get gains. Get girls.
    Now, I'm told by guys that they feel like a lot of girls don't want to be bothered, but I still get spoken to (and one of them even told me I have an angry, murder kinda workout face). A big winner for me is to just tell me you like my shirt or something like that. You don't have to sound like you really wan to talk. Just tell me that my shirt looks nice before you go back to doing whatever and you'll have my attention.

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  • I would join clubs (school groups) organizations, get involved in group studies, meet people during class projects. Go to poetry slams or any fair your school is having. But most importantly be approachable. Smile. And try to strike a conversation. If you fail, try amd try again. And in no time, you'll be an expert in finding accuantices/friends/gfs.

    Best of luck friend

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  • Go for a walk at the park or a local trail and stop attractive girls, tell them their beautiful, chat with them a bit, then ask for a number. you've just gotta catch a girl who's in the mood to get hit on. 9/10 girls will shut you down even if there's nothing wrong with you because it's in our nature to doubt a guys interest until he proves himself. Anyway, that 1/9 chance girl should be worth it after some effort :)

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    • Really? Even when you consider the setting and what you're telling him to do, you don't see how it might be outright alarming to some girls? I'm a guy and I'm wary of someone stopping me when I'm out trail riding.

    • @meatballs21 yeah I see what your saying but he obviously should approach as a creeper. Don't wear a hood, don't creep up on them and definitely don't look like you're about to attack. even if they are weary after the initial approach, a normal person will be able to tell that they're not in danger

  • Go to places that you like and events that you live and toy will be likely to find one there. Also, a smart dedicated girl will be in the library.

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  • Well first off, if the girls you are chasing after throw you on the curb like a used cigarette then they aren't worth chasing after. But if you still like them then be their aid. If you see that their lacking something that you have offer it to them. Become their friend by small affairs. And then gradually become someone more than his friend. If all else fails then this person is not worth it.

    -ataylor02

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  • Do things outside of school
    Go to parties and events your college is holding

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    • He has anxiety attacks and is not into parties nor event. 🙉

  • College and volunteer

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  • I have had similar situations. Best thing to do is go to social events on campus, like mixers, community stuff, sporting events, clubs, etc. I am shy with anxiety, but effort has to be made if I want to change my status. I had to go out more and mingle more. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 9

  • I wish there was an answer for this question. You can meet them anywhere, you just have to know how to interact with them.

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  • You're at college, there must be an extracurricular activity or club that interests you. Go to that.

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    • I'm not interested in sports and I don't have time for clubs since i take 18 credit hour semesters.

    • Then you don't have time for dating.

  • I feel you man. I get anxiety too, shy, and im too nice. Which women are scared of. Yet they go for the bad boys, who have a high chance if cheating. I also agree it is hard to meet women, to ask on a date. But i guess we have no choice but to keep trying, even after so many rejections. But! With all this free time I have, I try to improve myself, upgrade myself, be a better me. Learning new things, and hopefully we will both meet some one. Good luck!

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    • I'm not so lucky on the free time😅 I'm usually always in a college course pretty much year round.

  • Zaire.

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  • I have anxiety atticks when I talk to women, don't know why. I just got to stop being a little pussy that it. Stop being a little pussy too zeatzed.

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  • U wanna date in college? Really? Lol wow

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  • When I go to college and go inside the women's volleyball team

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  • anywhere

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  • Tinder.

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