Guys, those who like to take things slow in a relationship: what's the best thing girls can do in this situation?

I've been seeing a guy I use to see awhile ago. He was burnt badly in his last relationship and has said he likes me a lot but we agreed to take things slow. Now suddenly I'm not quite sure how to act or what would be moving too fast. What's the best thing I can do in this situation?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually in these situations, I would reciprocate at his level and be patient, and don't put him on the spot. This is important. Being burnt usually puts a guy firmly in his comfort zone. If he texts you, send one back. Don't send 3 or 4, for example. It's only temporary, until he feels safe enough to get his head out of the sand. Good luck.

    • He had mentioned last week he's a bit scared to get hurt again and again said lets just go slow. We saw each other the other night which was great but I feel him pulling away again. I know it's just his defence mechanism and he'll come to in a few days.. Should I just give him space until he contacts?

    • I'd give him space until he contacts. Maybe send him a good morning text and leave it at that, without expecting a response. That will tell him you're thinking about him without saying it, and won't put any pressure on him to contact you. This should pass somewhat when he gets more comfortable and secure in the relationship. Guys naturally tend to pull away and then pull back, like a rubber band, but I think it can get more severe with a new person who's recently been burned. Hope this helps.

What Guys Said 1

  • You let him set the pace. Strange as it is usually the guy who wants to speed things up and the girl who wants to slow things down. You are now in a unique situation where you have little to be concerned of. Act like a lady and let him set the pace

    • Great advice but how do I do that? Just give him space and allow him to make the moves?

    • Exactly. You just answered your own question. The difficulty is it may be difficult and you want to speed things up---------- hold in your estrogen, relaxed deep breaths don't let your estrogen drive you nuts. It was a lot of talk that women have certain amounts of testosterone which can be terrible to rein in but the truth is it is also estrogen driving your sexuality and desire to conceive a child. Relax take deep breaths